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by its_mike_kapufty



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Girlfriends/No Wives, Amputation, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Animal Death, Blood, Break Up, Depression, Drug Use, Drunken Confessions, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of drugs, Mentions of homophobia, Mentions of trafficking, Murder, Physical hurt/comfort, Post-Zombie Apocalypse, Praise Kink, Protective!Rhett Approved, Rhett gets a dog :), Sex Toys, Sexting, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Talk of Zombies is Sparse I PROMISE, Texting, Vomiting, gay!Link, lost phone, mentions of abuse, mentions of internalized homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-02 13:16:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 60
Words: 56,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17264870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_mike_kapufty/pseuds/its_mike_kapufty
Summary: Rhett isn't as alone as he thinks he is after life in North Carolina takes a turn for the worse.Told entirely through text messages.





	1. Log 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads-up: this fic is set in a zombie apocalypse AU, but zombies definitely are not a large part of the story. I just love the idea of desperate times and desperate measures.
> 
> Formatting is easiest to read on mobile. Thank you for your interest! :)

(252): i know you won’t get this  
  


(252): i know it’s useless

  
(252): to be honest i don’t even  
know why i’m texting you

  
(252): it’s not even that i was  
thinking about ya

  
(252): it’s more that yours is  
the only cell number i know  
by heart

  
(252): and sometimes you  
gotta pretend things aren’t  
different now

  
(252): even though they are

  
(252): mental health is important.  
you told me that before you left  
  
  
(252): five years.  
  
  
(252): unbelievable.  
  
  
(252): so i hope you don’t mind  
if i use your number like this  
  
  
(252): i don’t know why i’m asking  
  
  
(252): you’ll never read this anyway.

 

* * *

 

 

(252): i thought this wasn’t gonna be  
a viable outlet  
  


(252): but you never responded

  
(252): so i guess i’m doing this

  
(252): it’ll be good though. a good method  
to log my thoughts

  
(252): i’m sorry things ended the  
way they did

  
(252): like, i know you’re not  
there on the other side of the screen

  
(252): but i think if you were,  
that’d be what i’d say to you first

  
(252): you taught me a lot  
about love and relationships

  
(252): i sorta hate how immature  
i was when we were together

  
(252): you were right to  
leave, i think

  
(252): you told me i never  
took anything seriously

  
(252): that everything was  
a big joke

  
(252): and you were right

  
(252): i know that now

  
(252): the stuff i know now would  
make the old me’s head spin

  
(252): would’ve been nice tho,  
to be appreciated for my wittiness

  
(252): like i get that trying to  
find humor in every single  
thing that happens can grate  
on a person’s nerves

  
(252): there’s a time and a place

   
(252): but even when the time  
and place aligned, i don’t think  
you ever really liked that part of me

  
(252): which is fine, i guess

  
(252): but it makes me wonder why  
you were interested in me in the  
first place.

  
(252): i’ve always coped using humor

  
(252): it just comes naturally

  
(252): even still. you wouldn’t believe  
some of the thoughts that pop into my  
brain even now

  
(252): it’s hardly appropriate anymore

  
(252): but who’s here to tell me that?  
no one

  
(252): so it’ll just go unchecked

  
(252): maybe i’ll lose my mind

  
(252): hell it probably isn’t even a matter  
of ‘if,’ but ‘when’

  
(252): i hope that if i go crazy, the next  
coherent person who finds me puts me  
out of my misery before something  
worse finds me

  
(252): i can’t do it myself

  
(252): not strong enough to

  
(252): so here i am

  
(252): and there you aren’t

  
(252): echo echo echo

  
(252): it’s getting cold

  
(252): see you tomorrow

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): i had a thought this morning

  
(252): i can do anything i want.

  
(252): cause i was thinking about  
how you aren’t here to police what  
i joke about

  
(252): and then i started thinking  
about police and how THEY aren’t  
even a thing anymore

  
(252): so literally whatever i want

  
(252): i could do

  
(252): i could go rob a bank

  
(252): not that money’s good for  
nothin’ no more

  
(252): but i could like

  
(252): rub the stacks of benjamins  
all over myself and pretend i’m  
someone else

  
(252): a rich douchebag in another life

  
(252): one who rents out resorts for  
their birthday and accidentally sinks  
their yacht on a coral reef while  
out assholing about, too drunk on  
grey goose to care about repercussions

  
(252): but then shrugs it off ‘cause hey,  
now the fish have somewhere interesting  
to swim around in, and besides,  
i can just go buy another yacht

  
(252): no biggie

  
(252): i’m not gonna do that tho

  
(252): rob a bank i mean

  
(252): i might go steal some more  
beans with franks

  
(252): you remember how much i  
loved beans, right?

  
(252): i mean i still do

  
(252): but i’m talking about when  
we were together

  
(252): i should be grateful that  
beans come in cans

  
(252): #blessed

  
(252): just thinking about ‘em  
makes me hungry

  
(252): you wouldn’t believe how badly the  
supermarkets stink now

  
(252): all of the produce has rotten  
and it’s just. so putrid, god

  
(252): well

  
(252): sitting here’s not gonna put  
food in my belly

  
(252): text again soon

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): guess what i remembered today

  
(252): no guesses?

  
(252): you’re no fun

  
(252): i can actually text myself,  
and i’ll get a message back

  
(252): it says the exact same thing  
that i sent because duh, i’m just  
sending the message to myself

  
(252): but lemme tell ya

  
(252): the first time i did it, the rush  
of feeling the phone vibrate in my  
hand almost brought me to tears

  
(252): me, a grown ass man

  
(252): brought to the verge of a  
breakdown by briefly deluding  
myself into thinking someone else  
was out there

  
(252): isn’t that some shit

  
(252): i did it a few more times,  
just to enjoy the feel of it

  
(252): it got old fast though

  
(252): you can only message yourself  
for so long before you realize it’s way  
sadder than sending unanswered messages

  
(252): i don’t think i’ll be doing that again

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): so i know you aren’t  
there anymore

  
(252): and i know worrying about  
something like this is futile

  
(252): but i just realized that since  
i’ve been texting you the last few  
days, your phone has probably died

   
(252): and for some reason that’s  
even worse than you presumably  
being dead

  
(252): sorry for saying so, but

  
(252): that’s how i feel

  
(252): at least if your phone had a  
charge it would feel like the messages  
are GOING somewhere, know what  
i mean?

  
(252): but if they’re just being relayed  
to a hunk of metal that can’t even  
acknowledge my attempts with a  
notification...

  
(252): so pointless

  
(252): why am i doing this

  
(252): oh

  
(252): i hear something

  
(252): shuffling

  
(252): shhh don’t you dare fucking  
text me back right now

  
(252): oh god i’m trying not to  
laugh so hard

  
(252): cause what if you did?

  
(252): it’s okay though, i’ve got  
my knife

  
(252): aim for the head.

  
(252): they aren’t cognizant anymore

  
(252): doesn’t make it any less gross

  
(252): i think it smells me. wish me luck

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): i really need to find a better weapon

  
(252): a skinning knife isn’t ideal when  
you’re trying to stay out of range of  
a person’s mouth

  
(252): person. is that what they are?

  
(252): if that’s how they identify  
they seriously need to work on  
their social skills

  
(252): like whoa, personal space,  
buddy

  
(252): i don’t think he got me

  
(252): if he did i’ll know soon enough  
i guess

  
(252): oh get this though

  
(252): he was wearing a merle haggard tee

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): someone i might’ve been friends  
with in another life

  
(252): truth be told i very seriously  
considered trying to take it off of  
him after i killed him

  
(252): free swag

  
(252): but that wouldn’t be very sanitary

  
(252): might’ve drooled all over it

  
(252): don’t wanna run any unnecessary risks

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): i miss you

  
(252): or i guess ‘i miss people in general’  
would be more accurate

  
(252): not gonna lie, this text log has been  
good for me, i think. it's only been a few  
days and the difference in my mood is  
noticeable... i think

  
(252): i see why people like to journal  
in stressful times

  
(252): so. i visited the graveyard today

  
(252): used to spend a lot of time there  
with some buds in high school

  
(252): it was our meet-up spot

  
(252): sounds disrespectful to some but  
i think the more disrespectful thing  
would be to only mourn around dead folks

  
(252): i mean if i were dead i would want  
to see all sorts of emotions happening  
around my burial place

  
(252): not just sadness. right?

  
(252): give me laughter and friends  
hanging out over weepy wailing any day

  
(252): maybe the reason some people  
think graveyards are haunted is because  
of the energy the living choose to put into it

  
(252): maybe if we all visited and had a  
blast and hosted fairs and festivals in  
graveyards, they could be like miniature  
disneyworlds across rural america

  
(252): am i crazy for going to the graveyard  
during the outbreak? only the living can  
get sick as far as i know

  
(252): but maybe i’m wrong and was a huge  
dumbass and narrowly avoided death

  
(252): what do you think

  
(252): please tell me what you think

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(252): let’s play a game

  
(252): i just found something hilarious  
and i want you to guess what it is

  
(252): 20Q

  
(252): okay, start

  
(252): no, it’s not a mineral

  
(252): no, it’s not an animal

  
(252): yes, it’s manmade

  
(252): yes, it has to do with technology

  
(252): hmmm can you be more specific

  
(252): okay yes it requires power to  
work but it doesn’t use the power itself

  
(252): no, it’s not meant to be funny.  
i just think it is

  
(252): yes, it’s entertaining

  
(252): yes, it’s a movie!

  
(252): no it’s not a DVD

  
(252): no it’s not a bluray

  
(252): yes it’s a vhs

  
(252): can you guess which movie though?

  
(252): okay i’ll just tell you

  
(252): it’s still in its cling wrap, oh lord

  
(252): you have no idea how much i laughed

  
(252): teen wolf, the 80s one with michael j fox

   
(919): That movie is a cringe fest.

  
(252): what the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cover art by yours truly: [[x](https://its-mike-kapufty.tumblr.com/post/181822530672/wanted-to-make-a-cover-for-yh1nm-x-thank-you)]


	2. Log 2

(252): holy shit what

(919): Language.

(252): cassie?

(919): Afraid not. Sorry.

(252): who the hell

  
(252): i have so many questions

  
(252): first off, are you real???

  
(252): hello

  
(252): you’ve gotta be kidding  
me, i KNOW i didn’t imagine  
those texts

  
(252): they’re right there on  
the screen

  
(252): hello

  
(252): answer me

  
(252): HELLO

(919): Calm down. Gracious.  
I had to keep moving  
‘cause I heard something.

(252): good god this  
isn’t a dream

  
(252): someone is texting me

  
(252): how did you get  
cassie’s phone?

(919): I was checking out  
an office building. Needed  
somewhere to stop for a  
breather. Heard something  
buzzing like crazy. Followed  
the noise.

(919): This phone was plugged  
in on top of one of the desks.

(252): amcorp?

  
(919): What?

  
(252): the name of the building

  
(252): it’s where cassie worked

(919): I dunno, I didn’t check  
the sign. Does it matter?

  
(252): i guess not

  
(252): i can’t believe this  
is happening

  
(252): what’s your name?

  
(919): Really? You can’t believe  
someone is talking to you?  
Geeze.

(919): I’m Link. You?

(252): rhett

  
(919): Hi, Rhett.

  
(252): hi. whoa

(252): i’m honestly thrilled that i’m  
getting messages

  
(919): Yeah, it’s nice to text  
with someone. Feels normal.

  
(252): like don’t judge me but

  
(252): my hands are shaking

  
(252): it makes typing hard haha

(919): No, I get it. I might  
not respond right away,  
though. Can’t afford to  
let a phone distract me.

  
(919): You know how it  
is, right?

(252): it’s cool

  
(252): hey please tell me  
you took the phone’s charger  
with you?

  
(919): Well, yeah.

  
(252): good

  
(252): i feel like i’m dreaming

(919): Not a dream.

  
(919): How long have you  
been alone to be this desperate  
for human contact?

  
(919): You’ve got me over  
here feeling like I’m talking  
to a castaway.

(252): tom haaanks

  
(252): nah i’ve been hoofin  
it alone since the beginning

  
(252): so a while

  
(919): Yikes. Sorry to hear that.

  
(252): so, link

  
(252): i know this is sudden

  
(252): and no pressure, but

  
(252): can we please keep  
in contact?

  
(252): even just like

  
(252): once a day would  
be so nice

  
(919): Of course. Having a  
phone on me couldn’t hurt.

  
(919): Gotta figure out how to  
turn off the buzzing, though.

  
(919): You know, you should  
be more considerate of your  
actions.

  
(919): What if this Cassie had  
been hiding, and your barrage  
of buzzing drew a bunch of  
hunters to her?

  
(252): hunters?

  
(919): I refuse to compare  
these things to zombies.  
They ain’t the same thing.

  
(919): Movies didn’t do ‘em justice.

  
(252): ah

  
(252): you’re right. my bad

  
(252): you can put the  
phone on silent

  
(252): makes me sad for  
some reason tho

  
(252): like i just got in touch  
with another person and they’re  
already considering muting me

  
(252): :’(

  
(919): It’s okay, man. Listen,  
I’m excited, too.

  
(919): I promise I’ll check my  
messages as often as I can.  
Just… don’t be obnoxious,  
yeah?

  
(252): define obnoxious

  
(919): Don’t text me like  
we’re teenage girls.

  
(919): That includes emoting.

  
(252): reasonable enough

  
(252): hmm

  
(252): if you found cassie’s  
phone that means you’re in  
raleigh, right?

  
(919): Yep. Where you at?

  
(252): well i started in buies  
creek but

  
(252): i’ve just been traveling

  
(252): no sense getting tied  
down to any one place now,  
ya know?

  
(919): No kidding, Buies Creek!  
Spent some time there,  
growing up.

  
(252): no way! you’re from  
around too, then?

  
(252): small world

  
(919): Small town, more like.

  
(252): well i can’t imagine  
raleigh’s doin too well

  
(252): i always figured bigger  
cities were like roach nests now

  
(252): more humans means  
more potential for hunters,  
doesn’t it?

  
(919): Yeah, kinda.

  
(919): I’ve met some nice  
folks though.

  
(919): And if it’s company you’re  
looking for, you ain’t gonna  
find it roaming the  
countryside.

  
(252): well

  
(252): i found you, didn’t i?

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): you still there?

  
(252): you never responded

  
(252): i’m just gonna assume  
you’re sleeping or lying low

  
(252): and not that you’re already  
regretting picking up a stranger’s phone

  
(252): i can’t believe cassie didn’t  
have it password protected

  
(252): that’s so like her

  
(252): so get this

  
(252): i found a train station

  
(252): like not a newer one

  
(252): i was just following a  
road and it ended at a real old  
timey train station

  
(252): the tracks are rusted

  
(252): even before the outbreak i  
really doubt it was in use

  
(252): looks like it’s a hundred  
years old

  
(252): i’m gonna follow the tracks

  
(252): seems safer than walking  
down a road

  
(252): and i’m gonna write country  
songs while i walk

  
(252): but if you wanted to  
text with me i’d prolly do that  
instead

  
(252): just so you know

  
(252): open invitation, here

  
(252): okay i’ll talk to  
you later then

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): look i know you said  
not to be obnoxious

  
(252): but it’s REAL hard not  
to think you’ve already ditched  
the phone or something

  
(252): you don’t gotta respond  
to every single message i send  
obviously

  
(252): so

  
(252): i don’t know where i’m  
going with this

 

 

* * *

 

 

(919): Guess what.

  
(252): hey!

  
(252): what?

  
(919): I fell asleep. Lol.

  
(252): nice haha

  
(919): Sorry to ghost you.

  
(919): Like I said, having  
a phone is cool. I promise  
I’m gonna keep it on me.

  
(252): that’s good to hear

  
(252): thanks, man

  
(252): what happened to your  
own phone?

  
(919): I dropped it a few days  
ago and the dang screen  
shattered.

  
(919): Not the first time  
that’s ever happened, but  
it was definitely the worst  
timing it’s ever happened.

  
(252): not the first time? you  
need a case for it or somethin

  
(252): clumsy people should  
take advantage of phone  
protection technology

  
(919): I’m not clumsy.

  
(919): I’m just… gangly.  
Like a newborn deer.

  
  
(252): i will bet you all of  
the money i have that i am  
ganglier than thou

  
(919): Bet taken. I’m 6’0”.  
What you got, Rhett?

  
(252): six seven

  
(252): i win

  
(919): Bull. Crap.

  
(919): I don’t believe that  
for a second.

  
(919): You’re just scared to  
fork over your life savings.

  
(919): You could have at least  
picked a believable height  
difference.

  
(252): it’s true

  
(252): so if you’re a newborn  
deer then i’m an amniotic giraffe

  
(919): Eww.

  
(919): That is definitely not  
the right use of the word  
‘amniotic.’

  
(252): really though, i’ve got  
seven inches on you

  
(919): Still don’t believe you.

  
(252): i guess that means i’ve  
gotta head to raleigh to collect  
my money

  
(919): You’re one of those  
guys then, aren’t you?  
Can’t lose a single bet.

  
(919): Lucky for you I’m a  
nice person. I doubt I would’ve  
stuck around to talk with someone   
that competitive if we’d met  
in person.

  
(919): Rhett?

  
(919): I’m bored. Talk to me.

  
(252): can’t talk now, on my  
way to raleigh to prove you  
wrong

  
(919): Good lord.

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): i’ve got a joke for ya

  
(919): I like jokes! Hit me.

  
(252): what’s something that’s  
brown and sticky?

  
(919): A stick?

  
  
(252): C’MON NOW

(252): it’s not fun if you steal  
the punchline from me

(919): I’ve heard it before! Lol.

  
(252): even so, you gotta  
let the other person have  
their moment

  
(252): spoilsport

  
(919): How about I give you  
a chance to steal a punchline  
from me?

  
(252): YES bring it on

  
(919): How much did the  
pirate pay for his piercings?

(252): hmmmm

(252): thARRty gold pieces

  
(919): Nope. Good guess though!

(919): A buck-an-ear.

(252): dang

(252): that’s good hahahaha

  
(252): i’m stealing that one

  
(919): It’s all yours.

  
(252): not like i have anyone  
else to tell it to though

(252): such a bummer

(252): what’s the point of  
jokes if there’s no one there  
to cringe at how bad they are?

(919): You won’t be alone  
forever. Just keep it in your  
back pocket until then.

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): tell me what it’s  
like in raleigh

(919): What? Why? You  
never been?

(252): no i just wanna  
picture where you are

(252): it’s like having a  
penpal

  
(252): you kinda start to  
wonder about what their  
life is like and where they  
are at any given moment

  
(919): Weird, but okay.

  
(919): Honestly, if you’ve ever  
seen it before, it looks pretty  
much the same. Just minus all  
the people. It’s eerie.

  
(919): The buildings are clean  
and the sky is blue.

  
(919): There are lots of  
abandoned cars in the  
streets.

  
(919): I’m not gonna leave the  
bank for a better description,  
but that’s pretty much how it  
looks right now.

  
(919): It’s bizarre - I was  
on an overpass sidewalk  
earlier, and this planter of  
flowers made me stop.

  
(919): Like… these beautiful,  
fragile yellow pansies were  
completely untouched by any  
of this chaos.

  
(919): And for a second I felt  
like I was, too.

  
(919): Humans got the crap  
end of the stick in all of this.

 

  
(252): you’re a romantic, huh?

  
(919): I’m just being honest.

  
(252): i know

  
(252): romantic ain’t a bad thing

  
(252): just telling of what kinda  
person you are

  
(919): Why did that feel like  
an insult then?

  
(919): What about you?  
What’s it like there?

  
(252): hmmm

(252): weeds. weeds everywhere

  
(252): the tracks are surrounded  
by trees so i can’t see very far

  
(252): but i know what you mean  
about nature being untouched

  
(252): it’s wild

  
(252): everything’s so green

  
(252): offensively green

  
(252): you wanna fight me,  
tree? thinking you’re better  
than me just because you’re  
immune to zombification

  
(252): i’ll chop you down, sucka

  
(919): Please tell me you aren’t  
actually armed with an axe.

  
(252): nah

  
(919): Good. Only an idiot  
wouldn’t use a firearm.

  
(252): i’ve got me a knife

  
(919): ...just kidding?

  
(252): nope

  
(252): from cabelas

  
(919): For the love of god.

  
(919): You should get a  
better weapon.

  
(252): sounds like someone’s  
worried about their new penpal

  
(919): More than anything I’m  
amazed that you’ve survived  
this long with a freakin' stunted  
shishkabob. It’s North Carolina,  
for Christ’s sake. You can  
FIND a gun.

  
(919): Literally any house  
will have a pistol.

  
(252): you know what pistols  
require? ammo

  
(252): which runs out

  
(252): you know what doesn’t  
require fuel to kill?

  
(919): ...Your teeny little  
poky stick?

  
(252): THAT’S RIGHT, SON

  
(252): also… my ‘teeny little  
poky stick’

  
(252): hahahahaha

  
(919): Lol. Grow up.

  
(252): it ain’t teeny, friend

  
(919): I’m done talking to  
you right now.

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): question

  
(252): if you could hotwire  
any car you found, what kind  
would you want?

  
(919): Man, the roads here are  
so clogged up that even if I knew  
how to do that, I wouldn’t be  
able to drive it anywhere.

  
(252): you’re missing the point

  
(252): it’s a hypothetical and  
you’re taking the fun out of it

  
(252): don’t think about it, just  
go with your gut

  
(919): Well, hypothetically, I  
wouldn’t be able to drive it  
anywhere, so I don’t see  
the point.

  
(252): i bet you’re fun  
at parties

  
(252): fine, don’t play

  
(252): i’d take a dodge  
dynasty

  
(919): How old are you?!  
I didn’t realize you were  
geriatric over there, good  
lord.

  
(919): Kudos to you for  
knowing how to work a  
phone, old timer. I’m  
proud of you.

  
(252): listen you’re laughing  
but that’s a sturdy car right  
there

  
(252): you think i’d want  
somethin' showy, what with  
the way everything is now?

  
(252): hell nah, fool

  
(252): i need something good  
for the long haul

  
(252): something i can run over  
hunters with

  
(919): You didn’t answer  
my question.

  
(252): what

  
(252): age? i’m 41

  
(919): Well I’ll be damned.

  
(252): please tell me you  
aren’t like... way younger

  
(252): not that i’d quit texting  
with you but to be honest i’d  
probably feel really weird about  
it for a while

  
(919): Nah, just surprised.  
I’m 41, too.

  
  
(252): makes sense

  
(252): uptight-ness comes  
with age

  
(919): ...

  
(919): Okay, you’re in time-out.  
Have fun being alone.

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): you’re just proving  
my point

  
(252): hellooo

  
(252): you can’t be serious

  
(252): link

  
(252): oh come on

 

 

* * *

 

 

(919): 41, huh? Makes me  
kinda curious.

  
(252): well well well

  
(252): look who’s come  
crawling back

  
(919): I will mute your  
notifications again SO fast.

  
(252): you texted me!

  
(252): what’re you curious about?

  
(919): Well if you were younger  
I doubt I would've found myself  
wondering about this. But middle-  
aged people usually have their  
lives relatively put-together,  
right?

  
(252): i mean

  
(252): some do, yeah

  
(252): not everyone

  
(919): Point taken.

  
(919): But now that I know  
your age, I can’t help wondering  
about what your life was like  
before this whole mess started.

  
(252): my ‘life?’

  
(919): Yeah. You know how  
you wanted me to tell you what  
it was like here in Raleigh? Let’s  
call it the penpal effect.

  
(919): I wanna know who you  
were before this.

 

  
(252): oh

  
(252): i feel kinda awkward  
openly talking about myself

  
(919): Okay. Sorry.

  
(252): no it’s not that  
i don’t want to

  
(252): i just… i dunno where  
to start, really

  
(919): Well, what did you  
do for a living?

  
(252): i was a civil engineer  
with black & veatch

  
(919): I don’t recognize the  
company, but civil engineering is  
like… infrastructure and stuff,  
right? Bridges and whatnot?

  
(252): essentially, yeah

  
(252): what about you

  
(919): You know, it’s dumb, but  
I sorta feel like I’m copying your  
answers now, lol. I was an  
industrial engineer.

  
(252): well look at you

  
(252): who with?

  
(919): IBM.

  
(252): holy cow

  
(252): big shot

  
(252): is that why you’re  
in raleigh?

  
(919): Yeah. The research park here.

  
(919): And I wouldn’t say ‘big shot.’  
They employ a lot of people.  
I was just one in a sea of many.

  
(252): gotcha. well, there you  
go. now you know

  
(919): Wait. I have another  
question, but if you don’t  
wanna answer, I understand.  
Could be a sore subject.

  
(252): you ain’t gonna  
hurt my feelings

  
(252): shoot

  
(919): Did you have a family?  
A spouse and kids?

  
(919): I mean, hell, maybe you  
still do. I just assumed you were  
alone since you seemed so isolated  
when I found this phone.

  
(919): You’re not secretly losing  
your mind due to a group of  
screaming kids following you  
around, are you? Lol.

  
(252): nah, no wife or children

  
(252): not that i never  
wanted any

  
(252): i just kinda got lost  
in my work and didn’t ever  
focus on that part of my life

  
(252): it honestly’s kinda  
upsetting to think about

  
(252): cause like

  
(252): here i am, ya know?  
41 and no family

  
(252): past my prime and alone  
for… probably forever, now, i guess

  
(919): Shoot, man, don’t talk  
like that. It’s never too late to  
fall in love.

  
(919): Even if you WERE geriatric,  
I would still tell you that.  
And I would mean it.

  
(252): see? total romantic

  
(252): it’s okay man, i’m not  
looking for sympathy

  
(252): look at it this way:  
there was never a chance  
of me losing someone i  
loved when the outbreak hit

  
(252): so actually it’s a  
blessing in disguise

  
(252): i can appreciate that

  
(919): You’d rather be alone  
just because there's a chance  
something bad might happen to  
the people you care about?

  
(252): first of all, i never  
said that. you’re putting  
words in my mouth. i was  
just trying to look at the  
silver lining

  
(252): second, that ‘something  
bad’ has already happened

  
(252): you really think this  
ain't the reckoning of our lives?  
you’re lying to yourself if you  
think that

  
(252): i would guess you’re a  
family man, then, since you feel  
so strongly about it

  
(919): Recently divorced, actually.  
No kids, which, I guess if I’m  
following your lead, is a  
blessing in disguise, too.

  
(919): Can you imagine being  
a child in this nightmare?

  
(252): i’d rather not

  
(252): it's getting late

  
(252): i’ll talk to you in  
the morning

  
(919): I mean, I feel like growing  
up was hard enough before  
you had to

  
(919): Oh, okay. Night, Rhett.

  
(252): night, link

 


	3. Log 3

(252): hey i know it’s the   
middle of the night and   
you’re probably asleep

  
(252): but i realized i might’ve   
come across as a jerk last night,   
ignoring the fact that you were   
recently divorced

  
(252): so, uh

  
(252): sorry to hear about that, man

  
(252): love is a fickle thing   
and takes a lot of effort

  
(252): and sometimes it doesn’t   
work out

  
(252): and maybe i feel bad   
saying that kinda stuff because   
honestly, the attitude you have   
of ‘there’s someone for everyone’   
is really refreshing

  
(252): it’s hard to find that   
mentality in people past like. 25

  
(252): not tryna kill it or anything

  
(252): but it’s true that things   
don’t work out sometimes

  
(252): still… if you really believe   
there’s someone out there for me,   
then there’s definitely someone  
out there for you

  
(252): cause you seem like   
a good guy

  
(252): just cause you got an   
ex-wife doesn’t mean  
you’re not a good person

  
(252): okay that’s all, apologies   
for the wall of text

  
(252): sleep tight man

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): Unsubscribe.

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): hurtin’ my feelings over here

  
(919): How’s this fine North   
Carolinian morning treating you?

  
(252): great actually

  
(252): found a nice little cover   
of trees, getting some grub in   
my tum

  
(919): Sounds good. I’m hunkered   
down in an old convenience store.   
So tempting to just take stuff,  
you know? Lol.

  
(919): What does Rhett eat   
for breakfast at the end of   
the world?

  
(252): right now, vienna sausages

  
(919): That’s about borderline   
acceptable for me.

  
(919): So gelatinous,  
good god.

  
(252): wait

  
(252): wait

  
(252): wait

  
(252): wait

  
(919): What?

  
(252): wait

  
(252): wait

  
(919): WHAT?

  
(252): are you telling me   
right now

  
(252): that you’re managing   
to somehow fill your stomach

  
(252): while avoiding the majority   
of preserved foods?

  
(919): Yeah, of course. Why   
would anyone wanna eat nasty   
gloopy stuff if they didn’t  
absolutely have to?

  
(252): you clearly have a weird   
set of requirements for ‘absolutely   
have to’

  
(252): what are you eating, then?

  
(919): No. I’m not gonna set  
you up to make fun of me.

  
(252): i won’t

  
(252): please

  
(252): i wanna know

  
(919): Curiosity killed the Rhett.

  
(252): cute

  
(252): sounds like an oregon   
trail death hahaha

  
(252): seriously tho, what’s your   
choice of grub

  
(919): The fact that you’ve referred   
to food as ‘grub’ twice in ten   
minutes isn’t appetizing.  
Are you sure you aren’t   
eating ACTUAL grubs?

  
(919): Huh.

  
(919): Y’ever think about what   
a weird word that is to refer to   
stuff we eat?

  
(252): actually the verb ‘grub’   
means ‘to dig up,’ it came from   
farmers digging up root vegetables   
and stuff a long time ago

  
(252): the larvae grub just so   
happens to have the same name

  
(919): How on earth do you  
know that just off-hand?

  
(252): i am a fountain of   
obscure knowledge

  
(252): stop avoiding the question

  
(252): what, are you a cannibal   
or something?

  
(252): munchin' on some hunter flesh?

  
(919): It’s cereal. I’m eating cereal.

  
(919): Happy? A perfectly normal,  
unassuming breakfast item.

  
(919): No need to go   
off the deep end.

  
(252): why in god’s name   
wouldn’t you just say so

  
(252): cereal’s good, man

  
(252): hope you’ve got water   
though, that sounds dry

  
(919): ...I’m using water as a  
substitute for milk.

  
(252): now THAT’S inexcusable

  
(252): oh my god

  
(252): what’s wrong with you

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): why would you put   
yourself through that

  
(252): you’d really rather torture   
yourself than just eat crunchy cereal   
and wash it down with water?

  
(919): Hang on

  
(252): no i don’t wanna   
hear any excuses

  
(919): Hunter

  
(252): crud

  
(252): be careful man

   
(252): please let me know   
when you’re safe again

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(252): i’m trying very hard   
not to put you in a potentially   
dangerous position but

  
(252): i’d love a text right   
about now

  
(919): I’m here.

  
(252): wow

  
(252): if you could never leave   
me hanging like that again that’d   
be great

  
(919): First aid, brb.

  
(252): wait did you get bitten?

  
(252): link?

  
(252): BUZZ

  
(252): BUZZ

  
(252): BUZZ

  
(252): BUZZ

  
(252): BUZZ

  
(919): You tryna drain my battery?  
Then you REALLY won’t get  
any updates.

  
(252): no you jerk, i wanna   
know what’s going on with you

  
(252): ‘first aid brb’ isn’t comforting

  
(252): what happened? you didn’t   
get bit, right?

  
(919): It got me with its nails.  
Could’ve been saliva under its  
fingernails or something.

  
(252): crap

  
(252): i really hope not

  
(919): It would be a lot easier   
to concentrate if you’d quit   
texting me

  
(919): Remember how I said your   
actions have consequences???

  
(919): Leave me alone for   
five fuckin minutes

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): Rhett?

  
(919): I’m done bandaging up.

  
(919): I saw some butcher knives  
in the store earlier. I can’t believe   
you don’t use something with a   
better reach to defend yourself.   
Absolute madman.

  
(919): BUZZ.

  
(919): BUZZ.

  
(919): Rhett, if you’re trying   
to give me a taste of my own   
medicine, I get it, okay?  
It’s not pleasant.

  
(919): I know I told you   
to leave me alone but I was   
angry for letting the hunter   
get me and stressed and full  
of adrenaline and I really like   
talking to you even if I come   
across as a jerk

  
(919): I was just

  
(919): Angry at myself, and I  
took it out on you

  
(252): hey

  
(252): i had to find a place   
to charge my phone

  
(919): Where are you?

  
(252): found a little gas station   
not too far from the tracks

  
(252): quiet. no hunters as far   
as i can tell

  
(919): That’s good.

  
(919): I really am sorry about   
earlier. I snapped.

  
(252): it’s okay man, i get it

  
(252): everyone snaps from  
time to time

  
(252): we’re cool

  
(919): Yeah?

  
(252): of course, man. i’m   
not going anywhere either

  
(252): you really okay though?   
don’t feel ill?

  
(919): Feel fine right now.

  
(919): You’ll be the first to know  
if that changes.

  
(252): good

  
(252): hey link

  
(919): What's up?

  
(252): i don’t think you’re a jerk

  
(252): jerks don’t apologize like that

  
(919): ...thanks.

   


* * *

 

  
  
  
 

(919): You ready for another joke?

  
(919): This one might not work   
so well over text, but I’ve been   
wracking my brain tryna think   
of a good one, and I can’t get   
this one off my mind.

  
(252): heck yes brother   
let me have it

  
(919): There’s no punchline   
to spoil, but here it is:

  
(919): A man walks into a bar   
in ancient Rome, holds up two   
fingers, and says, ‘I’ll take five   
beers please.’

  
(252): oh that’s funny

  
(919): Get it?

  
(252): no

  
(919): LOL. V is five in   
Roman numerals?

  
(252): OOHHH

  
(252): hahahahahaha okay, yeah

  
(252): you really do gotta   
be careful with that one   
over text

  
(252): people might think   
he’s holding up fingers on   
different hands or somethin’

  
(919): What?!

  
(919): Literally NO ONE does that.

  
(252): you don’t know

  
(252): someone might

  
(252): i bet there’s a culture   
out there that switches hands   
when they count on their fingers

  
(252): never considered that,   
did you?

  
(252): so culturally insensitive, link

  
(919): You really know how to   
take the piss outta someone,   
don’t ya?

  
(252): hahahaha

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
(252): oh my god

  
(252): my heart feels like   
it’s gonna explode

  
(252): i haven’t run that fast   
in a long time

  
(919): What happened?

  
(919): Are you okay?

  
(252): oh gosh

  
(919): Rhett what happened?

  
(919): Talk to me

  
(252): walking on the tracks   
made me lazy

  
(252): i let my guard down

  
(252): there was a group of   
them huddled in a ranger’s post   
through the trees

  
(252): they heard me singing

  
(919): Christ, Rhett, you’ve GOT  
to be more careful than that!

  
(919): You were advertising yourself   
as a snack, singing! AND not   
paying attention

  
(919): How many of them   
were there?

  
(252): abouvvz,./.jzl

  
(919): Rhett? That’s gibberish

  
(919): Rhett?

  
(919): Are you okay

  
(919): They didn’t bite you right

  
(919): RHETT

  
(252): ...i dropped my phone.   
climbing a tree hahaha

  
(919): ...

  
(252): about five

  
(252): they didn’t get me

  
(252): but i thought i was a   
goner for sure

  
(919): BE CAREFUL, DUMBNUT

  
(919): Traipsing around SINGING

  
(919): You’re in a tree now?

  
(252): yeah, they can’t get   
me up here

  
(919): Well don’t test that theory.

  
(919): Death by song has got   
to be one of the most shameful   
ways to die.

  
(919): Do you have a muzzle?   
You should muzzle yourself.   
I’d do it but I can’t.

  
(252): ease up there man

  
(252): i made a mistake

  
(252): thought i’d share with you

  
(919): Just to freak me out?  
Great, how thoughtful of you.

  
(252): no! i just like filling you   
in on what’s going on with me

  
(252): if you’d rather not know   
i’ll keep it to myself in the future

  
(919): No

  
(919): Tell me when stuff happens.

  
(919): ...you scared me is all

  
(919): You sure you’re not injured?

  
(252): certain

  
(252): they couldn’t catch me

  
(919): Stay in that tree until   
you’re SURE nothing’s around   
anymore. Okay?

  
(252): roger that

  
(252): you know what   
the wild part is?

  
(919): That you survived?

  
(252): all i could think about   
while i was runnin’ was the fact   
that i wouldn’t get to tell you i’d died.

  
(252): so… i’m really happy   
to get to tell you that i’m alive,   
instead

  
(919): Oh.

  
(919): I am too, Rhett. Really.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter length is going to vary, as you obviously saw in this shorter one. Where I decide to end each chapter is simply based on what feels right for the storytelling. :) Thanks for reading!


	4. Log 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New content warning for this chapter - please check the tags and take care of yourself.

(252): got another question for you

(919): What’s up?

  
(252): what’s your favorite kind  
of music?

  
(252): or maybe a few of your  
favorite bands?

  
(252): i just passed by another  
train station and this one was  
BLASTING some kenny g hahaha

  
(252): so surreal, to walk past a  
completely deserted train station,  
and having this sensual saxophone  
music rollin’ from the speakers

  
(919): Oh my god, LOL.

  
(252): made me wonder if you’d  
like it or not

  
(919): Kenny G’s alright. My   
favorite musician is Merle   
Haggard.

  
(252): that’s not cool

  
(919): Wow.

  
(919): It’s also not cool to   
judge someone by their   
taste in music, dude.

  
(252): you read the texts i was  
using as a journal.

  
(919): ??? No, I didn’t?

  
(919): What are you even   
talking about?

  
(919): The texts you were  
blowing up this phone  
with, before I got to it?

  
(252): yeah

  
(252): you saw that i like merle   
and you’re playing me for a fool

  
(252): listen

  
(252): i get it

  
(252): you find someone’s unprotected  
phone, it’s irresistible to wanna dig  
through their stuff

  
(252): but you should’ve at least told  
me before dropping a dirty hint like that

  
(252): it’s embarrassing

  
(919): Rhett, I didn’t go through your  
messages. I didn’t even know they went  
back any further than that dumb solo  
guessing game you were playing.

  
(919): You like Merle Haggard too?

  
(252): wait you REALLY didn’t go  
read the things i said?

  
(919): No.

  
(919): I wouldn’t feel okay  
about that, man.

  
(919): I might’ve taken a stranger’s phone,  
but I wouldn’t feel right invading  
their privacy - alive or not.

  
(919): I haven’t even looked through  
the photos on here.

  
(919): I really do like Merle Haggard.  
Wish I had a singing voice like his.

  
(252): yes he’s amazing!!!

  
(252): sorry i got defensive, i thought you  
were trying to pull a fast one on me

  
(919): No worries. I’d be suspicious   
too lol. What are the odds?

  
(252): probably better than we think

  
(252): i mean we ARE both country  
boys, right?

  
(919): Good point.

  
(919): Hey, so... I haven’t dug  
through this phone

  
(919): but I am pretty curious about  
who owned it before me.

  
(919): You called her Cassie?

  
(252): yeah? what about her?

  
(919): So was she like a family  
member or something?

  
(919): Friend?

  
(252): an ex girlfriend

  
(252): we met in highschool and   
never really fell out of contact

  
(252): met up a few years ago   
after chatting for a while and   
realizing we were both single

  
(252): what was there to lose, right?

  
(252): we dated for a while but it  
didn’t work out

  
(252): after the breakup i just went  
back to doing what i always did

  
(252): working

  
(252): easier not to mourn something  
when you’re too busy to feel anything

  
(919): Shoot, man. I’m sorry  
to hear that.

  
(919): That doesn’t sound like   
a healthy way to handle stuff, if   
I’m being totally honest.

  
(252): no, it’s not. i know.

  
(252): while we’re getting all up in  
each other’s business though i might  
as well ask

  
(252): what happened with you and  
your ex-wife?

  
(252): like you don’t gotta give me  
all the dirty details, but i’d love  
the synopsis

  
(919): Why?

  
(252): what’d you call it?  
the penpal effect?

  
(919): Oh. Yeah.

  
(252): is that not cool? i just want  
to get to know you better is all

  
(252): link?

  
(252): you went quiet

  
(252): i thought since the topic   
was open you wouldn’t mind   
contributing a little more

  
(919): What kind of person are you, Rhett?

  
(252): what? what do you mean?

  
(252): where did that come from?

  
(919): I mean, if you learned something  
about someone that changed how  
you saw them, but up until that point  
you’d been on good terms with them,  
would it affect the way you  
felt about them?

  
(919): How you talked to them?

  
(252): link, what are you saying?  
you’re not making any sense

  
(252): i don’t know what you’re getting  
at, but it’s gonna be okay

  
(252): you didn’t like… beat your wife  
or anything like that, right?

  
(919): No.

  
(919): But

  
(919): My ex-husband might have  
done so to me. A few times.

  
(919): Rhett?

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(252): i’m here, sorry

  
(252): had to step away for a second

  
(919): Hunter?

  
(252): no

  
(252): i just

  
(252): jesus, link.

  
(252): i know asking this   
doesn’t make a lick of difference   
now, but are you okay?

  
(919): Yeah! I’m good, I promise.

  
(919): Sorry if I upset you.

  
(252): don’t apologize for that

  
(252): ever

  
(252): i’m not the one who had  
to go through it

  
(919): It really wasn’t as traumatic  
as it might sound.

  
(919): We got into a few arguments,  
and he just… lost his temper?

  
(919): He didn’t react poorly when I  
said I wanted a divorce. A lot of people  
aren’t as lucky as me.

  
(252): ‘lucky’

  
(252): don’t make excuses for him

  
(252): it doesn’t matter   
how severe abuse is.

  
(252): it doesn’t need to break bones  
or kill you to be abuse.

  
(252): just because you managed to walk  
away from it doesn’t make it okay, link. shit

  
(919): I was just saying that...

  
(919): No, you’re right. You’re right.

  
(252): you wouldn’t happen to know  
what became of him when the outbreak  
hit, would you?

  
(919): No.

  
(252): mmm

  
(252): i hope he died.

  
(919): Jesus, Rhett.

  
(252): what?! he hurt you.

  
(252): the world we live in now  
isn’t one that needs those type  
of people surviving

  
(252): everyone’s gotta be good  
to one another, now more than ever

  
(919): I don’t want to talk about  
that... love isn’t so black and white.

  
(252): sorry

  
(252): i’ll ease off

  
(919): Nothing else about what I said  
bothers you, though?

  
(252): what else do i need to  
be upset about?

  
(252): did he steal money  
from you, too?

  
(919): Uhh.

  
(919): You didn’t react to the  
fact that it was a man?

  
(252): so?

  
(252): if you’re gay that’s fine, link

  
(252): i don’t care about that

  
(919): ...really?

  
(252): wait. were you really expecting  
me to be

  
(252): like

  
(252): disgusted by you, or something?

  
(252): have i given you reason to  
think i’m a bigot???

  
(252): i’m genuinely asking, if i said  
something insensitive i’m ready to be  
real sore about it

  
(919): You’re fine. It’s just that you  
assumed my spouse was a woman  
that time you texted me. But  
it’s okay. I’m used to it.

  
(919): I was more scared that going  
against that assumption would make  
you quit talking to me, I guess.

  
(919): Again: North Carolina.  
You know how people are.

  
(252): oof

  
(252): that makes sense for you  
to feel that way

  
(252): people here can be pretty  
intolerant

  
(252): but i don’t care, link. i really don’t.

  
(252): actually

  
(252): this might make you laugh

  
(252): i think the fact that   
i’m always on edge, worried   
about you suddenly not   
responding

  
(252): ‘losing’ you, in a weird way

  
(252): has kinda fed into   
this protectiveness

  
(252): i got so worried about   
you being hurt, even in the past,   
that i think it triggered a fight   
or flight response for me

  
(252): that’s why i

  
(252): had to take a walk around haha

  
(919): Why would that make me laugh?

  
(252): because why do i care   
so much about your safety?   
we’ve never met in person

  
(252): not to devalue whatever   
this is, but… i mean, i surprised   
myself i guess

  
(919): Oh. I see.

  
(919): I’m fine. I really, really am fine.  
I’m camped out in a bus terminal  
right now. Just… chillin’.

  
(919): It’s like Hank Williams Jr.’s song:  
Country Boys Can Survive. Lol.

  
(919): I’m safe.

  
(252): good

  
(252): do me a favor and stay that way

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(252): you know how in movies and tv  
there were always like… different  
TYPES of zombies?

  
(919): Hello to you too.

  
(919): Kinda? Gimme an example.

  
(252): like the zombies in 28 days later

  
(252): they were super fast and feral,  
different from the walkers in the  
walking dead

  
(919): Okay, yeah. What about them?

  
(252): if you had to turn into any  
kinda zombie, what would you pick?

  
(919): Dude. You don’t think that’s   
a messed up question? Given   
our circumstances?

  
(919): Is this what you think about for  
fun when we aren’t texting?

  
(252): my dream is that one of these days

  
(252): you will answer one of   
my questions without crapping   
all over it first

  
(252): i’ll answer it, get your   
gears spinnin’

  
(252): i’d be like

  
(252): a zombie that can still eat real food

  
(919): That’s not a thing.

  
(919): If they had a choice, I’m pretty  
sure they wouldn’t eat humans.

  
(252): no, see, i would still   
NEED human meat

  
(252): but i could also CHOOSE   
to dine on normal cuisine. the   
difference is between necessity   
and enjoyment

  
(252): grab me some human   
hock and chase it with a burger

  
(919): Oh, gosh.

  
(252): gotta wash the sin outta   
my mouth somehow

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(919): For some reason that makes  
me more nauseous than if you  
were just eating human.

  
(919): ‘Cause that’s two kinds of   
flesh in your stomach.

  
(919): Oh gosh I gotta quit thinking about  
that or I might actually puke

  
(252): you know what would be  
a great distraction?

  
(252): if you played, too

  
(919): I guess I’d be a zombie that doesn’t  
need sight to catch my prey.

  
(252): whoa, what

  
(252): what, you wanna, like

  
(252): echolocate your victims?

  
(919): Whatever works.

  
(919): So long as I don’t have to see  
the person I’m about to attack.

  
(919): I’d rather not carry that  
image around with me.

  
(252): yeah, that sounds like you

  
(919): How so?

  
(252): it’s really clever. practical

  
(919): Oh?

  
(919): Uhh, thanks?

  
(252): y’know, i choose to believe   
that hunters aren’t mentally intact   
enough to be traumatized by   
anything they’re driven to do

  
(252): you should adopt that line of  
thinking too

  
(252): makes life easier

  
(919): Huh. Couldn’t hurt I guess.

  
(919): Thanks, Rhett.

  
(252): anytime buddy

  
(919): For the record, I hate scary   
movies. I never really watched them.

  
(252): what, really?

  
(919): Yeah, man.

  
(919): The scariest movie I ever saw  
was the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  
Watched it at a slumber party when  
I was way too young for it.

  
(919): Messed me up for a while, lol.

  
(919): But I could envision the zombies  
you were referencing well enough.

  
(252): don’t like scary films, huh

  
(252): i wanna talk about this

  
(919): No. Why? C’mon.

  
(919): I don’t need you givin’  
me crap for it.

  
(252): no, i’m not

  
(252): it’s just, we’re living in  
a horror movie, man

  
(252): if you hate them so much   
how are you coping with being   
inside of one?

  
(252): aren’t you scared?

  
(919): Of course I am.

  
(919): I’m not ashamed to admit that.

  
(919): You’d have to be psychotic for  
none of this to get to you.

  
(252): but you seem to have   
your shit together so well

  
(919): Lol. The only side of me that you  
get to see is the side I choose to  
show you through texts.

  
(919): I’m not as okay as   
you might think.

  
(252): well don’t tell me THAT

  
(252): you’re good tho, right? you’re  
armed and know how to protect yourself

  
(919): I’m doing my best.

  
(919): I try to avoid killing unless  
absolutely necessary.

  
(252): mmm

  
(252): okay

  
(919): What’s ‘mmm’ mean?

  
(252): i don’t like the thought

  
(252): of you scared and alone

  
(919): LOL.

  
(252): it’s not funny, i’m serious

  
(919): Rhett, I’m in Raleigh.

  
(919): I’m the least alone I could be in NC.

  
(252): a city full of strangers only lookin’  
out for themselves?

  
(919): Well

  
(919): I’ve got you.

  
(919): That counts for something, right?

  
(252): i’m not really WITH you though

  
(919): So? This is the next best thing.

  
(252): screw ‘next best’

  
(252): would you feel safer   
if i was with you?

  
(919): Stop, dude, you’re makin’   
it weird. My face is red lol.   
I’ve made it this far on  
my own, haven’t I?

  
(919): Besides, I really don’t   
think your itty bitty knife would   
contribute much, lol.

  
(252): forget the knife

  
(252): which works just fine, by the way.  
i’ve also made it on my own so far if  
you haven’t noticed

  
(252): but yeah

  
(252): i’m a big guy

  
(252): not trying to toot my own horn  
but i’m strong when i need to be

  
(252): if anyone tried to hurt you, link

  
(252): i’d tear them apart with my bare hands

  
(252): living or dead

  
(919): Wow.

  
(919): That’s

  
(919): That’s really intense, Rhett.

  
(252): if i promised you nothing   
would harm you

  
(252): would that make you less scared?

  
(919): If you were here?

  
(919): ...yeah, I guess so.

  
(252): i see

  
(252): i’ll keep that in mind

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
(252): country roooooads

  
(919): What?

  
(252): take me hoooome

  
(919): What is this?

  
(252): to the plaaaaace

  
(919): OH

  
(252): i belooooong

  
(919): WEST VIRGINIAAAA

  
(252): MOUNTAIN MAMAAAA

  
(919): TAKE ME HOOOME

  
(252): COUNTRY ROOOOADS

  
(919): I’d pay to see us in concert.  
We sound good.

  
(252): hahahahaha

 


	5. Log 5

(252): good morning, sunshine

  
(919): wat time is it

  
  
(252): HAHA

  
(252): wow, you must still be bundled up

  
(252): you do know there’s a clock there  
at the top of your screen, right?

  
(919): Mmm

  
(919): 5:42

  
(919): Good gosh

  
(919): Do you always wake  
up this early?

  
(252): yeah man. if you get up  
early enough you can cover a  
lot of ground before it’s hot outside

  
(252): thanks for signing  
up to rhett tips

  
(252): did you know? moss  
doesn’t always grow on the  
north side of a tree. that’s a myth

  
(919): Ugh. Remind me to find a way  
to mute my phone before 8am.

  
(919): Why you so gung-ho on traveling?  
Where you gotta be?

  
(252): i told ya, i’m comin’ to raleigh

  
(252): gotta show you how tall i am

  
(919): That’s really not necessary.  
I believe you, you freakin’ freakshow.

  
(252): well good

  
(252): i’m still headed to raleigh though

  
(252): we need a rendezvous

  
(252): with your whatever gun you’re using  
and my teeny little poky stick, we will be  
unstoppable

  
(919): Where did you leave from?  
You’ve been walking, what, two  
days now? Where’d you start?

  
(252): i was in jacksonville

  
(919): Jacksonville!

  
(919): Rhett, you can’t walk halfway  
across the state because of a stupid  
bet. You should stay where you are.

  
(252): it’s a little late for that

  
(252): besides, i told you i’ve been  
traveling a lot anyway

  
(252): helps keep my mind occupied

  
(252): it’s hard for me to stay  
in one place

  
(252): you just hang tight lil buddy

  
(919): Rhett, seriously, it’s too early for this.

  
(919): Don’t come to Raleigh just to meet me.

  
(919): Okay?

  
(919): If you want to see what I look like,  
I’ll just send a selfie.

  
(252): no no no nooo

  
(252): we gotta do this the  
old fashioned way

  
(252): when i see your face  
for the first time it’s gonna be  
in person

  
(919): Why are you doing this?

  
(252): i dunno, maybe because  
you’re the only friend i have and  
i’d like to see you

  
(252): look i know it sounds crazy but  
why the heck not? right?

  
(252): and you DID say you’d feel better if i  
was with you. can’t take that back now

  
(252): it’s just good sense

  
(252): don’t be difficult about this, okay

  
(252): it’s already happening so  
just accept it

  
(919): You cannot come to  
Raleigh just to see me.

  
(919): I’m serious.

  
(919) Stop.

  
(919): Head into the next  
town you see.

  
(252): fine

  
(252): i won’t come to raleigh  
just to see you

  
(919): Oh. Good.

  
(919): Thank you.

  
(252): i’ll come to raleigh bc i  
have other, non-link related  
business to attend there

  
(252): my other sms penpal is  
very eager to meet me

  
(252): you should be jealous,  
he’s very cool

  
(919): For heaven’s sake, Rhett,  
DO NOT come to Raleigh. Period.

  
(252): what’s wrong with it, man?

  
(252): you secretly scared i’m a  
maniac who’s gonna nibble on  
your elbow or something?

  
(919): Because once you get here,  
you’re going to insist on seeing me.

  
(919): Which can’t happen.

  
(252): ? why not

  
(252): wait

  
(252): are you actually scared of me??

  
(919): No! I’m not.

  
(919) I just

  
(919): I mean physically, literally,  
it can’t happen.

  
(919): I didn’t want to tell you this,  
but

  
(919): I’m leaving Raleigh.

  
(252): what?

  
(252): that’s fine, link

  
(252): where you heading?  
  


(252): i can meet you anywhere you want

  
(919): I’m leaving the state.

  
(919): There’s a helipad here.

  
(919): Every day they evacuate a  
dozen or so people to Washington D.C.

  
(919): I’ve been on the wait list  
for a while, and my turn is  
coming up soon.

  
(919): I’ll be gone by the  
time you get here.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): You haven’t texted me all day.

  
(919): Look, I know you’re probably angry  
with me that I was trying to hide  
the truth. I get that.

  
(919): I didn’t mean to hurt  
your feelings.

  
(919): If we’d met before I got put  
on the wait list, there’s a good chance  
I wouldn’t have signed up.

  
(919): You’ve been a really good  
friend to me, Rhett. I don’t want to  
leave things on a sour note.

  
(919): We can still text, obviously.  
I’m not REALLY going anywhere,  
if you think about it like that. I’ll  
always be in your pocket.

  
(919): Silver linings, right?

  
(919): When I get a new phone,  
I’ll even text you from it  
so you have the number.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): Fine. Be angry.

  
(919): Sorry for trying to live  
the best life I can.

  
(919): Apparently your concern for  
my safety only reaches as far as  
my availability to you.

  
(919): As soon as a real chance to change  
my life for the better comes along,  
you suddenly hate me for taking  
that opportunity? Before you were  
even in the picture?

  
(919): Screw you, then.

  
(919): You know, the thing that  
sucks most about this is that I  
really thought you cared about me.

  
(919): My safety and well-being.

  
(919): But it looks like you only cared  
because I provided some kind of  
security to you. You were so lonely.

  
(919): The times you blew up my phone,  
begging for just ONE answer as a  
check-in. I really thought you were  
looking out for me.

  
(919): But you just wanted someone.  
Anyone.

  
(919): And now you’re doing that to me.

  
(919): Leading me to believe that something  
bad’s happened to you. It’s not gonna work.  
I know how you think now.

  
(919): I thought you were better than this.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): Rhett, this isn’t funny anymore. C’mon.

  
(919): I really don’t want our last conversation  
before I leave to be a bad one.

  
(919): I’m sorry I somehow got your  
hopes up about meeting me.

  
(919): I’m not totally at fault here though.

  
(919): You ignored me when I told you  
not to come see me. If you’d listened  
to me in the first place, we wouldn’t  
be in this situation.

  
(919): You are there, right? Reading this?

  
(919): Rhett?

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(919): Rhett, please answer me.

  
(919): God, please.

  
(919): Please answer.

  
(919): Can I call?

  
(919): I’m gonna call

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
(919): It went to voicemail

  
(919): Where in god’s name are you

  
(919): Is your phone dead???

  
(919): Rhett, please

 


	6. Log 6

(252): hey

  
(919): RHETT

  
(919): What the hell, man

  
(919): Do you have ANY idea

  
(919): I mean

  
(919): Fuck.

  
(919): So you’re alive, at least.

  
(919): God

  
(252): i’m alive.

  
(919): What the hell is wrong with you,  
you asshole?!

  
(919): What happened?!

  
(252): i may or may not have  
blocked your number

  
(252): not for long, obviously.

  
(252): i needed to clear my head

  
(252): and that seemed the  
best way to do it.

  
(919): And you couldn’t have told me  
that before cutting off literally  
all contact?

  
(252): oh, are you upset?

  
(252): you wanna tell me more  
about how it feels?

  
(252): please, enlighten me

  
(919): You need to back off.

  
(919): I don’t know where you got this  
sense of entitlement from, but shut  
it down right now, you prick.

  
(919): I didn’t do a damn thing wrong.

  
(252): of course you didn’t

  
(919): Why does it matter WHERE  
I text you from?

  
(919): You can’t see me anyway. Proximity  
isn’t worth a crap when it comes to us.

  
(919): You’re being ridiculous.

  
(252): i can’t believe you don’t understand

  
(252): did i really misread you that badly

  
(252): for this to be so one-sided

  
(252): so, yeah, sorry for everything

  
(252): delete this number if you want.  
i won’t be offended

  
(919): One-sided?

  
(919): What on earth are  
you talking about?

  
(252): i was coming to see you, link.

  
(919): I NEVER ASKED YOU  
TO DO THAT.

  
(252): you’re right, you didn’t

  
(252): i wanted to.

  
(252): that’s the whole point.

  
(252): evidently i’m pretty damn disposable  
if you can’t even empathize with me wanting  
to see you

  
(252): okay, yes, it started as a joke

  
(252): but the more we talked the more  
it felt right that i should come find you

  
(252): to be honest

  
(252): i thought we had this real,  
visceral connection

  
(252): like. a weirdly good connection if I’m  
being honest.

  
(252): talking with you felt natural.

  
(252): i looked forward to hearing  
what you had to say every morning.  
you became my best friend  
in a matter of days.

  
(252): you can see that as sad, or  
pathetic, or whatever. but i thought  
it must’ve been pretty special for  
me to feel that in such a short time.

  
(252): i feared for your death  
more than once

  
(252): i don’t even fear my own death.

  
(252): and if i were in your shoes

  
(252): i would’ve canceled my spot  
on that evac list the moment i knew  
there was someone worth staying  
around for.

  
(252): but clearly that was all in my head

  
(252): so i’m grieving something  
that never really existed

  
(919): Rhett wait a second

  
(252): can you imagine how stupid i feel?

  
(252): of course a happenstance connection  
with someone via text message isn’t ever  
going to amount to anything real

  
(252): i don’t know what the  
fuck i’m doing here

  
(252): but you made me feel  
like i did

  
(252): anyway

  
(252): doesn’t matter now

  
(252): i hope your flight to  
washington is nice

  
(252): i hope you get to rest  
in a nice hostel

  
(252): i mean it

  
(252): stay happy and healthy, okay?

  
(252): i’m gonna turn my phone off  
again to get some sleep

  
(252): have a good night

  
(919): Hang on!

  
(919): You still there?

  
(919): Rhett?

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

(919): Look at the stars if you see this.  
There’s a meteor shower.

 


	7. Log 7

(252): shoot

  
(252): can’t believe i missed that

  
(919): That’s what you get for  
turning your phone off.

  
(919): :P

  
(252): hey, no emotes

  
(252): that was your rule

  
(919): You can forget that rule if you want.  
I don’t actually care enough to enforce it.

  
(252): ehhh i’m not big on using  
them anyway

  
(252): how was the meteor shower?

  
(919): Amazing.

  
(919): I recorded a video of it for you.

  
(919): Or I tried to, anyway. I’m not sure the  
phone’s camera was even able to pick it up.  
It kinda just looks like nothingness with  
dust specks flyin’ around the screen.

  
(252): ?

  
(252): why would you do that

  
(252): should’ve just enjoyed  
it for yourself

  
(919): I thought it would turn out okay.  
Serves me right for putting faith  
in a camera phone.

  
(252): no, i mean why would  
you record that for me?

  
(252): i dunno what cassie’s data plan  
was like, but after compressing and  
sending it, i am 100% sure it won’t be  
high enough quality for me to see  
anything haha

  
(919): I’m not gonna send it.

  
(919): I’m holding onto it until  
we meet in person.

  
(252): you’re gonna play like that  
right now?

  
(252): time and place, link.

  
(919): I canceled my spot on  
the evacuation list.

  
(252): what?

  
(252): stop, man

  
(252): that’s not funny

  
(919): Good, ‘cause it wasn’t a joke.

  
(919): Everything you said last night,  
it made me realize, Rhett

  
(919): You’re right. You ARE my  
best friend. Why wouldn’t I stick  
around for someone like that?  
Someone so honest. That I click  
so well with.

  
(919): I want to meet you.

  
(252): link

  
(252): are you crazy?

  
(252): i mean

  
(252): okay i hate getting whiplash  
this hard

  
(252): but the only thing that was making  
me feel better about this whole thing was  
that you were right

  
(252): you would undoubtedly have a  
better life if you got to DC

  
(252): i want to meet you, too, but

  
(252): i never wanted it to come at  
the risk of your future

  
(252): crap.

  
(252): don’t get me wrong, i’m grateful

  
(252): elated, even

  
(252): but

  
(919): Rhett, stop. It’s done.  
  
  
(919): I miss talking to you without  
this weird tension.

  
(919): Aren’t you excited to meet me?

  
(919): You’ll have someone with  
a shotgun with you. You can even  
borrow it, if you want. I bet you’d  
enjoy the feeling of killing a hunter  
with something this powerful.

  
(252): i am SO excited to meet you

  
(252): gosh

  
(252): i can’t stop smiling hahaha

  
(919): Keep it together, you sappy dork.

  
(919): I can’t keep dorks as friends  
so you’d better shape up.

  
(252): cause you need a man?

  
(919): Uhh

  
(919): What??

  
(252): grease? sorry haha

  
(919): OH. I get it lol.

  
(919): So where’d you end up anyway?  
Still on your way to Raleigh?

  
(252): nah, i actually took your advice  
and got off the train tracks

  
(252): i feel kinda like a bush man who’s  
discovering civilization

  
(252): did you know about these automatic  
door things? you don’t even gotta touch the  
handles and they still open right up

  
(252): amazing

  
(919): LOL. Where are you?

  
(252): still pretty close to jacksonville

  
(252): i’ve been walking a lot but i have  
a bad back so i have to rest more than  
most people probably have to

  
(919): Back problems? Dang.  
Take it easy. S’not a race.

  
(252): speak for yourself

  
(919): Everything’s a competition  
with you, lol.

  
(919): So… I actually had an idea.

  
(252): you ‘actually’ had an idea???  
STOP THE PRESSES EVERYONE

  
(252): LINK HAD AN IDEA

  
(919): Oh my god shut up LOL

  
(919): Why don’t we meet  
up in Fayetteville?

  
(252): what?

  
(252): why there?

  
(919): Fayetteville’s famous for its  
military history, right? I bet we could  
find an easy-to-defend house and  
hole up there for a while. Check  
out the museums for more weapons.

  
(919): Not like they need them anymore.

  
(919): Plus museums are  
neat, don’t you think? Could  
be a way to entertain ourselves,  
exploring them. Docents can  
get sick, but plaques can't. Lol.

  
(919): You can’t tell me it wouldn’t  
be fun to try and steal a tank.

  
(252): you know what

  
(252): i’m gonna gloss over the fact  
that i’m extremely certain they prevent  
artillery from being operational ever  
again once they’re around civilians  
and say YES

  
(252): we can text as we walk

  
(252): and the trip’ll give me some time  
to prepare myself

  
(919): Prepare yourself?

  
(252): like. emotionally

  
(252): gonna be a big thing to  
meet you in person

  
(252): i’m excited

  
(252): meeting the linkster

  
(252): gonna hug you so tight,  
linkster

  
(919): You are waaay overhyping this.  
I’m not anything special.

  
(252): lies

  
(252): you’d better not fucking die  
before we get there, i swear to god

  
(919): LOL

  
(919): I’ll try not to. Mmkay?

  
(919): It’s just two friends meeting.  
It’ll be casual. Nice.

  
(252): you’re right. casual

  
(252): so low-key

  
(252): like, we’re too cool to  
be into it. y’know?

  
(919): I mean… you can be a  
little excited, though.

  
(252): i AM

  
(252): you sure you don’t wanna  
just meet In raleigh and sign up  
for the evac together?

  
(919): Smart as that would be, nah.

  
(919): I think I have a thing or two to  
learn from Bush Man Rhett.

  
(252): hahahaha cool

  
(252): this sounds like more  
fun anyway

  
(919): Glad you’re on board.

  
(919): I’m gonna get ready and  
head out. Talk to you later?

  
(252): of course

  
(252): stay safe

  
(919): You too.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(252): hey, are you awake?

  
(919): Yeah. What’s up?

  
(252): didn’t it feel kinda weird that we  
agreed we’re gonna meet and then didn’t  
talk all day? hahaha

  
(252): i assumed you were on the road  
and i didn’t wanna distract you from your  
surroundings

  
(252): but man it was hard

  
(919): Lol. I know what you mean.

  
(919): Settled down for the evening?

  
(252): you bet

  
(252): got me a nice cozy spot  
in some bushes

  
(919): You’re kidding.

  
(919): You are literally a bush man.

  
(919): In a tent?

  
(252): don’t have one

  
(252): don’t need one

  
(919): So you’re just in a sleeping bag?

  
(252): try again, son

  
(919): Wait, you’re just sleeping  
on the ground? Like, totally  
exposed to the elements?

  
(252): not TOTALLY exposed

  
(252): i ain’t neanderballin’ it  
or nothing

  
(919): Dear lord

  
(919): You made me read  
that with my eyes

  
(252): yeeeaaaah hahahaha

  
(252): it’s a good word, you  
should steal it

  
(919): I’ll pass, thanks.  
Aren’t you cold?

  
(252): nah, it’s real mild out tonight

  
(252): feels good

  
(252): like i’m reconnecting with  
my ancestors

  
(919): Yeah, you’re reconnecting  
with them, all right. Them and the  
ticks burrowing into your scalp.

  
(252): c’mon man, now i’m all itchy

  
(919): Seriously Rhett, why don’t  
you have a sleeping bag?  
That’s like... survival 101.

  
(252): haven’t needed one yet.  
i’m okay

  
(919): I really don’t want to have  
to share a sleeping bag with  
you when we meet.

  
(252): that so?

  
(919): Take a detour as soon  
as you can and get one.

  
(919): Uhh yes?

  
(252): and here i was thinking how  
nice that would be

  
(252): more bodies means more heat

  
(252): nice and cozy

  
(919): See? You ARE cold.

  
(919): Take care of yourself! You say  
that to me a lot and i’m starting  
to realize how hypocritical that is.

  
(252): fine geeze

  
(252): i’ll get one as soon as i can

  
(252): it’s really not bad

  
(919): Fine, lemme sleep outside  
of my bag, too.

  
(252): what why

  
(919): I’m gonna try it, since you love  
it so much. Maybe I’ll leave the  
sleeping bag behind all together.

  
(252): that’s stupid

  
(252): link c’mon hahaha

  
(252): if you have a sleeping bag  
you should definitely be using it

  
(919): Nah, I’m good.

  
(919): Phew. Gettin’ a little case of  
the shivery shakes, though.

  
(919): It’s pretty cold.

  
(252): i ain’t there to provide  
body heat yet, dummy

  
(252): get back in the sleeping bag

  
(919): No. I’m reconnecting with  
my ancestors.

  
(919): My ancestors were very  
cold people, I’m learning.

  
(252): link. get back in your  
damn bed

  
(919): Or what?

  
(919): How you gonna stop me?

  
(252): oh, i can make you  
get into bed.

  
(919): Good luck. You’re super  
far away.

  
(252): i’m gonna start walking

  
(919): LOL

  
(919): Sure you are

  
(252): yep. packing up my stuff now

  
(252): look

  
(252): [image file 0062.jpg]

  
(252): that was my campsite

  
(252): all packed up

  
(919): What the hell, Rhett

  
(919): Seriously? Stop

  
(919): You need rest

  
(919): Your back

  
(252): not when you’re needlessly  
freezing yourself to prove a point

  
(919): Okay, I’m getting back into bed.

  
(919): ...This feels so much better lol.

  
(252): GOOD

  
(252): that wasn’t really a pic  
of my campsite

  
(252): just the spot next to  
mine hahaha

  
(252): tricked ya

  
(919): Jerk.

  
(919): Can we not do this again?

  
(252): do what?

  
(919): Blackmail one another with our  
own well-being? We shouldn’t be using  
that against each other.

  
(252): ...yeah, okay

  
(252): tomorrow i’ll stop and get  
a sleeping bag

  
(252): sorry

  
(919): You’re okay. I did it first.

  
(252): rest well

  
(252): i’ll talk to you tomorrow

  
(919): That sounds nice. Sleep tight.

  
(252): wait, link???

  
(919): Yeah?

  
(252): what’s your last name?

  
(252): seems like a weird thing not to  
know about my best friend

  
(919): Lol. It’s Neal.

  
(919): What’s yours?

  
(252): link neal. i like it, s’got a  
nice sorta roundness to it

  
(252): mclaughlin

  
(919): Rhett McLaughlin?

  
(919): That’s perfect.

  
(252): oh yeah?

  
(919): It’s got ‘laugh’ in it, and  
you like jokes.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): yeah, i guess you’re right

  
(252): that ain’t how it’s pronounced  
though

  
(919): Mc-Loff-lin?

  
(252): yeah! good job haha

  
(252): night, link neal

  
(919): Night, Rhett McLaughlin.

  
(252): see you tomorrow

  
(252): i mean, not really, but

  
(919): I got you. Night.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(252): i kind of can’t get over the fact  
that you use a shotgun hahaha

  
(252): like, if i had to pick a weapon  
for you based purely on your  
personality, a shotgun isn’t in the top five

  
(252): maybe not even the top ten

  
(252): let’s see

  
(252): what would link neal  
use to kill hunters

  
(252): just based on what  
i know about you

  
(252): you’re all about distance and  
not being traumatized

  
(252): ...that sounds like an insult but  
it’s not hahaha i prefer you safe, so  
it works for me

  
(252): therefore your personality  
screams something like pistol

  
(252): but physically, you’re

  
(252): huh

  
(252): hey, text me when you wake up?

 


	8. Log 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated - please check them and take care of yourself.

(919): As if I wouldn’t respond to  
your early-morning nonsense.

  
(919): You know me better than that.

  
(252): welcome to the world  
of the living!

  
(252): while you were sleeping  
i walked 10 miles

  
(252): and was dying of boredom  
hoping you’d text me hahaha

  
(919): Well congratulations.

  
(919): Still not a contest, you know.  
We’ll get there sooner or later.

  
(252): to you it’s not maybe

  
(252): i plan on having a house  
picked out and everything by the  
time you get there

  
(252): fully furnished

  
(252): pantry full of food

  
(252): enough wood to burn  
through the winter

  
(919): We’re not like... an old  
couple living on the prairie, lol.

  
(919): Also, I’m slightly insulted you  
think I couldn’t handle a shotgun.

  
(252): i never said that!

  
(919): It was implied. Lol.

  
(919): What did you want?

  
(252): so

  
(252): i have no idea what  
you look like

  
(919): Yep. That’s kind of  
a circumstance of this.

  
(919): I offered to send you a selfie  
a while back but you got all weird  
about it. You want one now?

  
(252): no

  
(919): Well, that’s that then.

  
(252): i mean

  
(252): i want to know what  
you look like

  
(252): but i really do want the  
first time i see your face to be  
in person

  
(919): Then aren’t we at an impasse?

  
(252): would you be willing to, like

  
(252): describe yourself to me?

  
(919): What? C’mon, that’s weird.  
Just take the selfie.

  
(252): why’s it weird?

  
(919): Because man, you’re basically  
asking someone to judge themselves  
and word-vomit out a description that  
will match how you feel when you  
eventually meet them.

  
(919): A lot of appearance is objective.  
How do I know I’d accurately  
convey how I look to you?

  
(252): link

  
(252): i’m not gonna think you have  
warped self-image or like you were lying  
to me if you don’t look the way i picture

  
(252): please?

  
(919): Ugh.

  
(919): I don’t even know  
where to start.

  
(252): pretend like you’re in a movie

  
(252): how would you describe  
your character?

  
(919): ...that makes it even scarier than  
without any guidance. Gosh, Rhett.

  
(919): I’m… tall? Not as tall as  
you, but tall to most.

  
(252): what about your hair?

  
(252): is it brown? curly?  
do you have a mullet?

  
(252): you’re not bald are you

  
(919): Not bald. Sorry to disappoint.

  
(919): It’s dark brown. Really dark.  
Buuut there’s quite a bit of gray.

  
(919): I used to keep it  
up with product.

  
(252): gray! whoa

  
(919): What’s ‘whoa?!’

  
(252): nothin’ bad

  
(252): just surprised

  
(252): what about your eyes?

  
(919): Blue. Bright, I guess.  
That’s what people say.

  
(252): bright blue?

  
(919): Yeah. This is weird. What else?  
I wear glasses. I need to shave soon.  
Lot of stubble.

  
(252): wow

  
(919): What?

  
(252): you sound, uh

  
(252): attractive?

  
(252): is that weird? did i  
make it weird?

  
(252): i mean

  
(252): all i’m sayin’ is that a lot of  
movie stars have traits similar to yours

  
(252): silver fox, light eyes,  
five o’clock shadow

  
(919): Don’t say stuff you’ll  
regret, dude. Lol.

  
(252): not gonna regret it

  
(252): regrhett hahaha

  
(252): i don’t think so at least

  
(252): i mean. unless it makes you  
think i’m a creep

  
(252): in which case can  
we pretend i didn’t say that?

  
(919): I’m not

  
(919): Not creeped out.

  
(919): Will you tell me  
what you look like?

  
(252): yeah? you want me to?

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(252): hmm. well, i’m taller  
than you.

  
(919): As you’ve claimed.  
Repeatedly.

  
(252): and i’ve got a beard

  
(919): Really?

  
(252): big ole beard haha

  
(919): Huh. I never pictured you with  
a beard. Definitely fitting, though.

  
(252): s’kinda like a… dirty  
blonde i guess? matches my do

  
(252): which i DO style up, by the  
way, so no judgment

  
(919): I was going to point out the fact that  
you carry a hair product and not a sleeping  
bag, but you’re right. Judgment-free zone.

  
(919): Please continue.

  
(252): pointing out the fact that you didn’t  
say it is the same as saying it, jerk

  
(252): eyes are green

  
(252): aaand that’s pretty much it

  
(252): i sound plain compared to you haha

  
(919): I don’t think so!

  
(252): no?

  
(919): Nah, but

  
(919): I dunno if I should elaborate?

  
(919): I know you said I sound  
attractive, buuut

  
(919): Straight men get weird when  
gay men compliment them. Lol.

  
(252): who said I was straight

  
(252): link

  
(252): paging link neal

  
(252): link where’d you go

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): But you ARE straight, right?

  
(252): you ghost me and that’s what  
you come back with? am i straight?

  
(252): yeah, i’m straight

  
(252): it was a joke, man

  
(252): i was trying to be funny

  
(919): What about that is funny?

  
(919): I came out to you. Do  
you think I’m ‘funny?’

  
(252): what? of course not

  
(252): shoot, link

  
(252): i didn’t mean anything by it

  
(252): i just

  
(252): i dunno, i wanted to see  
how you’d respond

  
(252): which, okay, in retrospect  
sounds crummy

  
(252): i was hoping you’d play  
along or something

  
(919): ‘Play along.’

  
(252): yeah, man

  
(252): like maybe give me a hard  
time or tease me or whatever

  
(919): Rhett, I spent a lot of my life  
dealing with the repercussions of  
dating men. I was bullied and  
ostracized.

  
(919): I came from a religious family.  
I went to counseling to deal  
with the internalized guilt.

  
(919): You joked about not being straight  
in the hopes that I would give  
you shit about it???

  
(252): ... yeah i didn’t really think  
that through

  
(252): i don’t even really know why i  
said it in the first place, i just wanted  
to, i guess

  
(252): i was hoping you’d, like

  
(919): It’s fine. It’s just not  
a joke for me, ok?

  
(252): i thought maybe you’d enjoy it  
or something

  
(252): not makin’ excuses

  
(252): anyway, it won’t happen again

  
(252): i’m sorry

  
(252): i’m straight. ok?

  
(919): I hear you. Loud and clear.

  
(252): what, you hidin’ in some trees  
nearby? hehehe

  
(252): if you were that’d be so awkward

  
(252): considering i’m taking a  
dump right now

  
(919): You had this conversation while you  
were crapping?! Good god, man.

  
(919): LOL.

  
(252): oh like i’m NOT gonna respond  
to you just cause i’m a little preoccupied

  
(252): everyone uses their phone when  
they’re on the toilet, don’t try to act like  
you’re above that

  
(919): Dude I don’t wanna talk to you while  
you’re defecating, stop texting me, omg

  
(252): what, you don’t think crapchatting  
is sexy?

  
(919): I need an adult

  
(252): i’m an adult!

  
(919): I need a different adult

  
(252): :(

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(252): would you rather have your  
every burp come out ridiculously  
loud, or have your every fart sound  
like a gong crash?

  
(919): WHAT

  
(252): cause like, the burp would  
be normal, but incredibly rude and  
impossible to hide at inopportune  
moments

  
(252): and while a gong-fart would  
undoubtedly be preferable to the  
embarrassing sound of flatulence,  
you would live your entire life  
a subject of curiosity

  
(919): I just

  
(252): like, who’s the gong-fart guy?

  
(252): why do his farts sound  
like a gong?

  
(252): is he hiding a gong from  
us?

  
(252): did he choose the  
instrument, and if so, why  
did he pick a gong?

  
(919): Say gong again, Rhett.

  
(252): i can tell you’re not  
taking this seriously

  
(919): It is Way. Too early. For this.

  
(252): aww c’mon

  
(252): i really want to know  
your answer

  
(919): This is the kind of morning  
talk I need coffee for. And there’s  
no coffee to be had, so

  
(252): i’ll find you some, don’t  
worry friend

  
(252): i’ll have the grounds as a  
welcome gift when we meet

  
(919): Good luck.

  
(919): ...you’re ridiculous.  
I can’t stop laughing.

  
(919): Gong-farts.

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): see? you don’t need coffee  
in the morning to be in a good mood

  
(252): just my company

  
(919): Like I could opt out even  
if I wanted to.

 


	9. Log 9

(919): Lunchtime check-in.  
Whatcha eating?

  
(252): that’s spooky. how did you  
know i was eating?

  
(919): Just had a feeling, lol.

  
(252): it’s beef jerky and coke

  
(252): you wouldn’t believe how delicious  
coke is when you can’t have it very often

  
(252): parents who use it as occasional  
treats for their kids got the right idea

  
(919): Oh, MAN, I’d love  
a Coke right now.

  
(919): Or a Sprite, maybe.

  
(252): whoops. i call all soda ‘coke’ haha

  
(919): Me too! So what is it really?

  
(252): dr pepper

  
(919): Aw, you ruined the fantasy.  
That stuff is nasteh. Tastes  
like medicine.

  
(252): yeah man, that’s the dr part

  
(252): you’re wrong but you can  
feel that way

  
(252): just means more for me

  
(919): Help yourself. Eugh.

  
(252): what about you, what’s  
on your menu

  
(252): mr. i-eat-cereal-with-water

  
(919): It’s not the same without  
some sorta liquid to soften  
it up a bit, okay?

  
(252): the words of a picky eater  
if i ever met one

  
(919): Well I’m glad you think so, cause  
I’m ‘bout to prove you wrong.

  
(252): oh?

  
(919): So I was walking down  
the road, right?

  
(919): And I saw this doe chowing  
down on some greens off to the  
side. So I shooed it off and got a  
closer look at what it’d been  
munchin’ on.

  
(919): Big, leafy cabbages, man.  
They look good. Straight-up fresh,  
wild cabbages.

  
(919): Smells kinda ripe but all  
the more reason to prove you  
wrong, dude. I got this.

  
(919): Moment of truth.  
Will it salad? Lol.

  
(252): LINK WAIT

  
(252): shit shit shit i was cleaning  
up DO NOT EAT THAT

  
(919): What why

  
(919): I already

  
(252): you didn’t swallow it did you??

  
(252): that’s skunk cabbage

  
(252): it’s toxic to humans!!

  
(252): christ link PLEASE respond  
what did you do

  
(919): I uh

  
(919): Oh gosh

  
(919): I took a pretty big bite

  
(919): And swallowed

  
(252): shit.

  
(919): Holy crap

  
(919): My uh

  
(919): Wow my mouth burns real bad

  
(252): okay keep calm, it’s gonna be okay

  
(252): keep texting me, okay? stay calm

  
(919): Stomach feels like it;s twisting

  
(919): Starting to shakw

  
(919): Hard to type

  
(252): i know buddy but it’s gonna be even  
harder to breathe in a minute though so  
no phone calls

  
(252): you’re gonna be okay. listen

  
(252): it’s going to FEEL like your throat’s  
closing up, and it will be really scary

  
(252): but you’re going to be okay.

  
(252): do you have any water on you?

  
(919): Y

  
(252): drink it. just a few sips, not too much

  
(252): you need to dilute your stomach  
contents with water asap

  
(252): deep breaths. you’re okay.

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): Shokd I vomit

  
(252): no!

  
(252): no, do NOT vomit, it could  
cause more inflammation on its way out

  
(252): just hang in there, okay?

  
(252): keep texting me

  
(919): I cn’t brrathe

  
(252): i know it feels that way,  
but you’re fine

  
(252): try to remain calm

  
(252): keep your heart rate  
low if you can

  
(919): Rhett I’n scared

  
(252): i know baby

  
(252): you’re gonna be alright though

  
(252): it’ll pass

  
(252): think of it like a stomach bug

  
(252): you just gotta wait it out until  
it’s out of your system

  
(252): i know it sounds impossible  
but try not to think about it too much,  
don’t wanna spin yourself into a panic

  
(252): hyperventilating will make it worse

  
(919): Ok

  
(919): Ok

  
(252): why don’t you tell me what it looks  
like there? what did the deer look like,  
was it pretty?

  
(919): Yea

  
(919): White tailedd

  
(919): Spts on bac

  
(919): Big browwn nose

  
(252): white-tailed deer are  
very pretty.

  
(252): always nice to catch  
a glimpse of one.

  
(919): Whyy did I di that

  
(919): If I’d waited jst a second linger

  
(919): I wou;d’ve seen your txts

  
(919): I’m such an iduot

  
(919): I’ms orry Rhett

  
(252): shhhh shh it’s okay

  
(252): nothin to apologize for

  
(252): you’re getting worked up again

  
(252): ease it back down

  
(252): pay attention to these texts

  
(252): i’m here

  
(252): and i don’t think you’re an idiot, link

  
(252): just glad you’re with me for this

  
(252): be with me, too.

  
(252): keep texting me?

  
(919): Pain

  
(919): Csn’t move

  
(252): don’t move then, baby. you’re fine.

  
(252): you’re not in any danger, are you?

  
(252): can you take a quick look around  
for me?

  
(919): Alone

  
(252): good, good

  
(919): I’m shakng

  
(919): Shiverinng

  
(252): just your body reacting  
to the situation

  
(252): it’s natural

  
(252): you’re okay

  
(919): Am I/

  
(252): you are.

  
(252): it doesn’t feel like it, but you’re  
gonna come out on the other side

  
(252): it just needs time

  
(919): Cramps in

  
(252): i know. i’m so sorry.

  
(252): that sounds painful.

  
(252): i’ll be here through the whole  
thing though

  
(252): just you and me, okay?

  
(252): i’m staying put until it’s over

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): Would yuo hpld me  
if you werr here

  
(252): would i …?

  
(252): yeah. i’d hold you

  
(252): i’d hold you, link.

  
(252): help you feel grounded

  
(252): you can pretend i am if  
it makes you feel better

  
(252): i’d put my arms around you

  
(252): not too tight. just enough  
to stop the shaking

  
(252): you’re doing great

  
(919): Thsnk yo

  
(252): of course

  
(252): i’m here

  
(252): not going anywhere. we’ll  
get through this.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

(919): I think the worst is over.

  
(252): you might have some cramping in  
your intestines for the next day or two

  
(252): maybe

  
(252): i don’t know that much about skunk  
cabbage to be honest

  
(919): What?! You knew EXACTLY what  
was going to happen.

  
(919): Don’t discredit yourself.

  
(919): You even knew that I needed to drink  
some water to make it easier.

  
(252): well that’s basic survival stuff but

  
(252): i’m glad my presence might’ve  
made a difference

  
(919): It was the entire difference.

  
(919): I mean it, Rhett.

  
(919): God… I’m such a dumbass.

  
(919): Not eating random plants is like… the  
first thing CHILDREN learn in scouts.

  
(252): ehhh it wasn’t the smartest thing  
you’ve ever done, for sure

  
(252): but it’s not unreasonable that if  
you see a mammal eating a plant, to  
then assume that that plant would be  
okay for human consumption

  
(252): even though that’s flawed logic,  
i can see why people follow it

  
(252): don’t beat yourself up. could  
happen to anyone

  
(919): The worst part is that I did it  
to try and prove a point to you??

  
(919): LOOK AT ME, I’M A BIG BOY.  
I CAN EAT ANYTHING WITHOUT FEAR.

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): you really did though, i’m impressed

  
(252): takes balls to poison yourself  
in the name of dignity

  
(919): Ugh.

  
(252): but don’t do stuff like that  
anymore just because i’m being  
a dick. okay?

  
(252): sure, picky eaters can be  
annoying, but i’d rather you be  
annoying than dead

  
(919): Yeah… I hear you. I won’t.

  
(919): Thanks for talking me through it.

  
(919): I can’t imagine how scary that  
would’ve been to go through alone.

  
(252): no problem at all

  
(252): i like to think that you’d have done  
the same for me, if i’d made that mistake

  
(252): like… if you’d known i mean

  
(919): Oh, for sure. Of course.

  
(919): I was so scared. Gosh.

  
(252): i could tell

  
(252): it’s scary when your body turns  
against you

  
(919): So, uhh.

  
(919): Should we talk?

  
(252): what d'you mean?

  
(252): we’re talkin’ right now

  
(919): Mm. Yeah, we are.

  
(252): hey in the future do me a favor

  
(919): What’s that?

  
(252): if you’re considering munching on  
some kinda plant, send a pic of it to me first

  
(252): just in case

  
(919): Already planned on it.

  
(919): Buuut I’m pretty sure I won’t be making  
a leap of faith like that again anytime soon.

  
(252): you should get some sleep

  
(252): you must be tired

  
(919): I really, really am.

  
(919): Night, Rhett.

  
(252): night, link.

  
(919): ...thanks again.

  
(252): don’t mention it.

 

 


	10. Log 10

(919): Knock-knock.

  
(252): come innn

  
(919): Seriously, dude?

  
(252): YEAH THAT’S RIGHT SUCKA

  
(252): MCLAUGHLIN WITH THE  
THREE POINTER

  
(252): YOU THOUGHT I’D FORGOTTEN

  
(252): AND THAT I WOULDN’T  
GET YOU BACK

  
(252): WOOOOO

  
(919): LOL SHUT UP

  
(252): they’ll make movies  
about this moment

  
(919): Gracious

  
(919): Amazing that you don’t  
float off into space, Rhett.  
A head that big on ya.

  
(252): ...i kinda wanna hear  
the joke now

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(919): Hmm let me think  
about that NO.

  
(252): awww cmon man, please?

  
(919): No, you ruined it.  
You ruint my joke.

  
(252): fine

  
(252): i’ll tell it

  
(252): knock knock

  
(919): Oh, this should be good.

  
(919): Who’s there?

  
(252): dwayne

  
(919): ...Dwayne who?

  
(919): ‘The Rock’ Johnson?

  
(252): dwayne de bathtub, i’m dwowning

  
(919): LOLLL

  
(252): you liked that one eh?

  
(919): I can’t breathe

  
(919): Goodness

  
(252): what did i tell you about  
eating the skunk cabbage, link

  
(919): Omg shut UP

  
(252): it wasn’t that funny! haha

  
(919): I know, but

  
(919): Imagining YOU delivering  
that line just got me for  
some reason, bless

  
(252): hahahaha

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): Nice day here in Holly Springs.

  
(919): Hope it’s nice wherever  
you are, too.

  
(252): i’m in cypress creek

  
(252): the weather’s nice enough but this  
place gives me the heebie jeebies

  
(919): Why’s that?

  
(252): i’m pretty sure there’s  
a community here, but they  
live inside of a compound with  
really high walls

  
(252): it’s dead quiet though

  
(919): Okay, that IS creepy.

  
(919): Don’t go near ‘em, they  
might be crazy. Lol.

  
(252): feels like a pop-up town  
that a cult built in the 70s

  
(252): like i’m at the beginning of a  
psychological thriller and about to meet  
someone i saw die when i was a kid

  
(919): You saw someone die  
when you were a kid?!

  
(252): no, i’m just sayin’.  
it’s got that vibe

  
(252): i know i was lonely for  
others at one point but

  
(252): on a scale of 1-10, my desire to  
go and try and meet anyone living there  
is at -20

  
(919): Lol. Yeah, stay away.

  
(252): i’m surprised i’m getting any  
reception here to be honest

  
(919): Oh, shoot. I totally forgot cell  
coverage was even a thing.

  
(919): I mean, word in Raleigh  
was that towers had been  
activated around so that at  
least communication was still  
possible, but I didn’t even  
consider dead zones.

  
(252): is that why i can’t get online  
with this thing anymore?! dang, man

  
(252): i’d been wonderin’

  
(919): Yeah. Texts and phone calls only.  
Something about trying to conserve data  
so everyone has access.

  
(919): What do we do if one  
of us loses signal?

  
(252): what CAN we do except  
wait until we get it again?

  
(919): Yikes. I guess you’re right.

  
(919): I hate that.

  
(919): We’ve both been trained to assume  
the worst if the other goes silent…

  
(252): i know.

  
(252): how about this

  
(919): Tell me.

  
(252): if one of us stops responding, the  
other has full permission to blow up their  
messages as much as they want?

  
(252): better yet, we should EXPECT the  
other to do so

  
(252): cause we know that’s what we  
both wanna do anyways

  
(252): neither of us can resist,  
just based on past experience

  
(252): so if we just put it out there,  
neither of us has to feel bad about  
it if it comes to that

  
(919): That sounds really good.

  
(919): Heck, I thought we text-bombed  
each other enough to have already  
established that non-verbally.

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): well, it’s somethin’ i think  
about in those moments where  
you go awol

  
(252): or don’t wanna talk to me  
anymore, i guess

  
(919): Rhett. I know we’ve had some  
arguments, but I’m pretty sure we’re  
past that kinda stuff.

  
(919): Even if I were angry with you, I can’t  
imagine not wanting to talk to you now.

  
(919): I’d probably just want to  
talk through whatever was  
happening together, ya know?

  
(252): hahaha

  
(919): Is that funny??

  
(252): it just

  
(252): i’m really happy is all

  
(252): you used to threaten muting me

  
(252): now you’re just as dependent  
on me as i am on you

  
(919): Well you don’t gotta  
point it out, lol.

  
(252): you thought you were  
sooo unaffected and untouchable

  
(252): never counted on growing  
to like me, did ya

  
(919): Hush, man.

  
(919): I just

  
(919): I keep myself guarded,  
is all.

  
(252): i broke through your defenses?

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): couldn’t resist me could you?

  
(252): you can go silent all you want

  
(252): according to the agreement we  
JUST made, i am free to just keep on  
texting you whenever i want

  
(252): y’know, if worst comes to worst  
then one of us just gets a digital diary  
to write in

  
(252): like it was for me before you  
came along

  
(252): i’d take you any day, though

  
(252): over a diary i mean

  
(252): liiiink

  
(919): Jesus dude LOL

  
(919): The things you say  
when you ramble

  
(919): So embarrassing.

  
(252): you vanished!

  
(919): To take a leak.

  
(919): For like. A minute.

  
(252): that’s a long time to pee

  
(252): you should go see a doctor

  
(919): Christ

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): Favorite food.

  
(252): beans

  
(252): favorite drink?

  
(919): Coffee.

  
(919): Or water.

  
(919): Favorite movie?

  
(252): you know this one already

  
(919): Shoot, do I?

  
(919): Remind me.

  
(252): teen wolf with michael j fox

  
(919): LOL I meant your  
REAL favorite movie

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): pulp fiction

  
(252): what we do in the shadows  
is really good, too

  
(919): Nice picks!

  
(252): thanks man

  
(252): favorite animal?

  
(919): Miniature horse.

  
(252): haha that’s so specific

  
(252): why miniature?

  
(919): Cuter than a normal horse  
but not as childish as a pony.

  
(252): well alright then

  
(919): Favorite brand?

  
(252): kirkland signature

  
(919): ...isn’t that Costco?

  
(252): yes, and it is amazing

  
(919): Why on earth would YOU

  
(919): A single man living alone

  
(919): Shop at Costco?

  
(252): they’ve got good deals!

  
(252): i like to buy in bulk, yeah?  
hush

  
(919): I didn’t say anything. :)

  
(252): ya nugget.

  
(252): cremation or burial?

  
(919): Wtf

  
(919): Why you always gotta  
ask dark questions like that?!

  
(252): it’s just a question

  
(252): can’t hurt ya

  
(919): Geeze.

  
(919): I always kinda thought  
I’d like to be buried under a  
sapling or something.

  
(919): That way something living  
can benefit from my death.

  
(252): oh, gosh

  
(252): yeah

  
(252): that’s the most you thing  
i’ve ever heard

  
(252): even in your own demise  
you’re still trying to think of others

  
(919): It’s practical! Why  
waste nutrients?

  
(252): well sure, but

  
(252): you’re allowed to want to  
be grieved, right? have a grave for  
yourself?

  
(919): The tree would be the grave.

  
(252): what, you gonna have  
someone carve your name  
into the bark?

  
(252): no one stumbling upon  
it is gonna know you’re under  
there, otherwise

  
(252): you’re missing the point

  
(252): you’re really good at that

  
(252): should head to the olympics,  
you’d overshoot every target

  
(919): God. You can be such  
a jerk sometimes, lol. Not  
everyone thinks the way you  
do, okay?

  
(252): if they did the world would  
be so great. can you imagine?

  
(919): Yeah, a world full of  
bean-chugging, wannabe  
country singers who think  
‘nugget’ is a good insult.

  
(252): nugget ain’t an insult!

  
(919): You JUST used it  
as one!

  
(252): QUIET, NUGGET

  
(919): STOP TELLING ME  
TO BE QUIET

  
(252): oh shit

  
(252): i really do need quiet

  
(252): hunter

  
(919): Shit

  
(919): Be careful, Rhett.  
Come back to me.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
(252): hypothetical question time

  
(919): I’ve never gotten so much  
relief from a notification before.

  
(919): The longer we’ve known  
each other, the higher the stakes  
feel whenever I have to wait for  
you to respond.

  
(919): What’s the question?

  
(252): if i was bitten, what would  
be the best way to treat it?

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): Tell me you’re joking

  
(252): It’s just a hypothetical.

  
(919): So you’re okay?

  
(252): ...it’s hypothetical, link.

  
(252): do you know what i should do?

  
(252): did anyone in raleigh say  
anything about how to treat a bite?

  
(919): RHETT

  
(919): Were you bitten or not?  
This isn’t a fucking game,  
what happened??

  
(252): this is why i didn’t want  
to jump into it. i knew you’d panic

  
(252): i may have gotten a little bite

  
(252): on my hand

  
(919): Good God

  
(919): Rhett no no no no no

  
(919): Tell me this is one  
of your horrible jokes

  
(919): You’re not serious

  
(252): it’s small enough

  
(252): i cleaned it good

  
(252): dunno if any saliva got into it

  
(919): How are you so calm?!

  
(919): This can’t happen

  
(252): link, i know you’re freaking  
out, but if you could focus it would  
help me a lot

  
(252): how quickly do people turn  
once they’re bitten?

  
(252): did the folks in raleigh talk  
about that at all?

  
(919): Rhett this isn’t okay

  
(919): Please

  
(919): Please don’t have a bite

  
(252): link. listen to me.

  
(252): i know you’re scared

  
(252): to be honest, i am too.  
i’m scared shitless.

  
(252): but i really need you  
right now, ok?

  
(252): the other day you said  
you would’ve returned first-aid  
help if you’d known how.

  
(252): you can help now.

  
(252): you’re strong.

  
(252): i need you right now.  
please help me.

  
(919): Okay in Raleigh

  
(919): I think they said that a  
bite takes 48 hours to  
reach full rot

  
(919): At which point

  
(919): the brain dies Rhett  
I can’t do this

  
(252): it’s gonna be okay

  
(252): you’ll get through this  
one way or another

  
(919): Don’t say shit like that!!

  
(919): What about you?!

  
(252): do you remember  
anything else?

  
(919): Fuck

  
(919): Uhh there were rumors

  
(919): A plant being tested on the west  
coast to try and reverse the effects  
before total rot

  
(919): That’s all I can recall

  
(252): okay

  
(252): obviously not a viable option.

  
(252): here’s what i’m going to do, okay?

  
(919): Rhett

  
(252): link. it’s okay.

  
(252): i’m going to go over  
to that community

  
(252): and see if they can  
help me out somehow

  
(252): it’ll be okay.

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): Okay

  
(919): Okay

  
(919): Please keep texting me

  
(919): Tell me EVERYTHING  
that happens

  
(252): i’ll keep you updated  
as best i can

  
(252): it’s gonna be okay

  
(252): i’m gonna put my  
phone away so i can be  
respectful when i greet them

  
(919): NO.

  
(919): You keep your phone IN HAND  
and you CALL ME the second  
anything changes

  
(919): Rhett, don’t leave me here

  
(252): take a deep breath.  
i’m comin’ back.

  
(252): removing the password  
on my phone, just in case.

  
(252): ...I care about you a  
lot, Link Neal.

  
(252): always have

  
(252): from day one.

  
(252): remember that, ok?

  
(252): no matter what

  
(252): you made my world  
so much brighter

  
(919): Rhett, fuck

  
(919): Don’t talk like that why  
are you saying that kinda shit

  
(919): Rhett???

 


	11. Log 11

(919): Rhett McLaughlin.

  
(919): I can’t sleep.

  
(919): It doesn’t feel right, trying   
to rest when I have no idea   
what’s going on.

  
(919): What happened to you?

  
(919): You said you would keep   
me updated as best as you could.

  
(919): I’m not angry

  
(919): Just

  
(919): My chest aches?

  
(919): Everything feels so cold

  
(919): I think my body’s forgotten   
how to be warm

  
(919): I wish I could say it brings me   
consolation, knowing that you’re   
with other people

  
(919): But honestly it just   
makes it worse

  
(919): Because what if they get to   
see you off from this world

  
(919): And I don’t?

  
(919): I hate how I acted earlier

  
(919): You were hurt

  
(919): And I panicked so hard   
that I became useless.

  
(919): I lost my head when you were  
the one in a terrifying situation

  
(919): I’m so sorry, Rhett.

  
(919): Come back and let   
me be better to you

  
(919): You were so good to me

  
(919): What am I going to   
do without you

  
(919): The other half of this   
log is missing

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(252): Hello?

  
(919): Rhett???

  
(919): I was so worried,   
oh my god

  
(919): What’s going on?

  
(919): What happened?

  
(919): Are you okay?

  
(252): Whoa, hold your horses.

  
(252): This isn’t Rhett.

  
(919): What

  
(919): Who is this

  
(919): Why do you have   
Rhett’s phone

  
(252): I didn’t realize it   
belonged to anybody.

  
(252): It was just lying in the   
grass in the middle of the   
compound.

  
(919): Well it DOES

  
(919): His name’s Rhett McLaughlin   
and he went into your ‘town’   
last night to try and get   
medical treatment. He told   
me he would keep in touch   
as he looked for help.

  
(919): Who are YOU?

  
(919): Do you always take people’s  
phones and go through their texts??

  
(252): Wow. I’m sorry.   
I was just curious.

  
(252): Not everyday you   
find a cell phone.

  
(252): I’m Stevie. I’m guessing   
you’re ‘baby blue?’

  
(919): What?

  
(252): That’s what Rhett has   
you saved as.

  
(919): Oh.

  
(252): Did you not know?   
That’s... weird. Sorry again.

  
(919): My name’s Link.

  
(919): You ARE in Cypress Creek,   
right? I’ve been waiting to hear   
back from him. Can you please   
find him and give him his phone   
back?

  
(919): Sorry for snapping.

  
(919): I didn’t get any sleep last night.

  
(252): It’s okay. I can tell   
you’re stressed.

  
(252): No offense.

  
(252): Let me look around and see if  
anyone knows about a visitor.   
Text back soon.

  
(919): Thank you, Stevie.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(252): Are you there, Link?

  
(919): Yes did you find him?

  
(252): I did. But Rhett can’t come   
to the phone right now.

  
(919): What?? Why not??

  
(919): Did you tell him it’s Link   
and that I’ve been texting him  
like crazy?

  
(919): Throw the freakin’ phone at him!

  
(252): I couldn’t tell him anything.  
He’s under at the moment.

  
(919): What??

  
(252): He’s in surgery. He should be   
out by this afternoon, though.

  
(919): Surgery

  
(919): What

  
(919): What are they doing to him

  
(252): Maybe it isn’t my place to say,   
but wouldn’t you rather hear what’s  
going on from him in a few hours than  
from a stranger?

  
(252): He’s going to be okay.

  
(919): I can’t.

  
(919): I need to know   
what’s happening.

  
(919): Please, Stevie.

  
(252): If you’re sure.

  
(252): It’s an amputation.

  
(252): They’re taking some of his fingers.

  
(252): Said it’s the only way to ensure   
the virus doesn’t spread.

  
(252): Did you get that?

 


	12. Log 12

(252): so

  
(252): stevie seems nice

  
(919): Is it really you??

  
(252): it’s me. i’m back.

  
(252): told you everything was   
gonna be okay.

  
(252): thanks for holding on   
without me, worry wart

  
(252): and i’m sorry i didn’t text

  
(252): didn’t mean to saddle you with  
abandonment issues

  
(919): Rhett why are you apologizing

  
(919): You’re okay?

  
(252): i am!

  
(252): good to be back

  
(919): Your hand

  
(252): well

  
(252): i’m never gonna be able to   
wear a wedding band hahaha

  
(252): but i’m alive

  
(252): that’s somethin’, right?

  
(919): It’s everything

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): don’t get soft on me, neal

  
(252): i’m still recovering,   
so i’m soft too

  
(252): they took the ring and   
pinky fingers

  
(252): left hand, thank goodness

  
(252): i dunno how i’d defend   
myself if it’d been my dominant

  
(919): Aren't you freaked out?  
Your fingers...

  
(252): it ain't so bad

  
(252): i was prepared for worse

  
(252): this is the best  
outcome i could've hoped for

  
(252): y'know?

  
(252): link? where’d you go?

  
(919): I’m here

  
(252): you doin’ okay?

  
(252): awfully quiet compared to   
last night, i see

  
(919): I’m great

  
(919): Hard to see

  
(252): oh, gosh

  
(252): don’t cry on account   
of me, link.

  
(252): i’m so sorry i   
left you in the dark.

  
(252): by the time i realized   
my phone wasn’t in my pocket  
anymore, i was already in   
quarantine

  
(252): i’m really okay

  
(252): these folks saved my life.

  
(252): ...i don’t like it when   
you don’t respond hahaha

  
(919): Just

  
(919): Enjoying you

  
(252): ohh i see

  
(252): you like it when   
this happens, eh?

  
(252): and this?

  
(252): buzz

  
(252): yeah, you like that?

  
(252): buzzzzzz

  
(252): ooo yeah

  
(252): buzz buzz

  
(919): Oh my god LOL

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(919): It’s like burn ointment

  
(919) Don’t ever stop

  
(252): not while i breathe.

  
(252): listen, i’m leaving here soon

  
(252): these people are amazing  
though

  
(252): they gave me some   
antibiotics to prevent infection   
and i’m trading the skinning   
knife for an axe

  
(252): couldn’t spare any firearms,   
but they were so dumbfounded   
by my poky stick that they   
basically forced me to trade   
with them hahaha

  
(919): GOOD.

  
(919): If not for that damn   
knife, you’d probably still   
have your fingers!

  
(919): ...sorry.

  
(252): it’s okay. you’re right.

  
(252): i’m lucky to be alive

  
(919): I’m lucky that I   
get to keep you

  
(252): hush, haha

  
(252): also

  
(252): uhh

  
(252): might as well bring it up   
since you know now

  
(252): ‘baby blue’

  
(919): So I heard.

  
(252): i honestly meant to tell you

  
(252): i just

  
(252): forgot?

  
(252): i can change it if you want?

  
(919): Nah.

  
(919): Keep it.

  
(252): yeah?

  
(919): Yeah.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
(252): my mom used to tell me  
this story when i was a kid

  
(252): it was about a caterpillar  
who was determined to reach the  
highest branch of a tree

  
(252): and the caterpillar would  
meet different animals along the  
way. tree-dwelling critters

  
(252): an owl, or a squirrel

  
(252): and each one asked why  
the caterpillar was going to the top  
of the tree, and each time, it would  
respond, ‘i don’t know’

  
(252): then it got to the top

  
(252): and built a cocoon

  
(252): and turned into a   
butterfly

  
(252): i never understood why  
mom told me that story

  
(252): like… what was the point  
of the caterpillar not knowing where  
it was going, yet somehow  
it still got a happy ending?

  
(252): but she always pretended  
that my leg was the tree and my toes  
were the branches

  
(252): and she’d tickle my feet when  
the butterfly finally flew away

  
(252): ...it sounds really stupid   
when i tell someone else about it

  
(252): but

  
(252): it was on my mind

  
(252): and i wanted to tell you.

  
(252): i miss my mom

  
(252): heck. i miss you, too

  
(252): feels like i’ve known you  
my entire life

  
(252): and i still manage to get  
nostalgic for some kinda history  
we never shared?

  
(252): i don’t know

  
(252): like you were always there

  
(252): i hope you’re sleeping well

  
(919): Wasn’t asleep.

  
(919): I love the story. Thanks   
for sharing it with me.

  
(919): I miss you, too.

 


	13. Log 13

(252): y’know what the worst   
thing about the outbreak is?

  
(919): …

  
(919): The zombies.

  
(252): aside from them, i mean

  
(919): Right.

  
(919): Glad we got that cleared up.

  
(919): I’m going to guess   
you’re about to say   
something about food?

  
(252): guilty haha

  
(252): i miss promotional   
menu items at fast food joints

  
(919): Wow. I knew it would be  
about food, but I never would’ve  
guessed that. So specific.

  
(919): Like what? McDonald’s   
Shamrock Shake?

  
(252): if we’re talking mcdonald’s

  
(252): i would literally sell   
my soul for a mcrib

  
(252): YOU HEAR THAT, SATAN?

  
(252): LET’S MAKE A DEAL

  
(919): One McRib is what   
your soul costs? Yeesh. Lol.

  
(919): If you’re selling your soul,  
you could at least go bigger than that.

  
(919): Like a mountain of McRibs.

  
(919): Or the ability to snap and have  
a McRib appear in your hand  
whenever you want.

  
(252): oh my god. could you   
imagine? i would be so happy

  
(252): i’d die of heart disease and i  
would be proud of it

  
(252): i would want it on   
my tombstone

  
(919): Or

  
(919): And this might be   
the best option

  
(919): Use your soul-currency on  
something not McRib-related.

  
(252): don’t tell a man how to  
spend his soul.

  
(919): Fine. Have fun with your  
heart attack, doofus.

  
(252): i have so many   
questions for you now   
that i didn’t have a   
minute ago

  
(919): Can I just type the word ‘sigh’  
and have it carry the effect   
of actually sighing?

  
(252): buzzkill.

  
(919): Lol. Sorry, I’ll try to be more  
into your never-ending avalanche  
of inconsequential questions.

  
(919): What’s first?

  
(252): what do YOU think the worst  
thing about all of this is?

  
(252): aside from the zombies

  
(919): Hands down, the virus   
itself. Like I wasn’t worried   
enough about bacteria before   
there was a heightened mortality   
rate associated with it.

  
(252): oohhh

  
(252): a clean freak, huh

  
(919): I’m hygiene-conscious. Like  
any self-respecting person   
oughta be.

  
(252): ...you might not like  
meeting me in person then haha

  
(919): …

  
(252): i mean, i’m clean enough,  
and i don’t think i stink TOO bad or  
nothin', but dirt never hurt no one

  
(919): What about tetanus?

  
(252): that ain’t caused by dirt

  
(919): What’s your next question?

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): what’s your favorite promotional  
food item from a drive thru place?

  
(919): Huh. I never really had one.

  
(919): Starbucks had nice Christmas-  
and fall-themed drinks. But I   
never went out of my way to  
buy them.

  
(252): dude, if we were   
currently living before the   
outbreak, i would be headed   
to your place right now   
to pick you up for a fast   
food taste test

  
(919): I’d be down for that!

  
(919): Feel like I would need   
to take some preemptive   
antacids, though. Lol.

  
(252): whatever floats your boat

  
(252): okay last one

  
(919): ‘So many questions’   
means three?

  
(252): what would you spend   
your soul on?

  
(919): I’d want everything to   
go back to the way   
it was before.

  
(252): oh. wow

  
(252): such a philanthropist

  
(919): Did you not think about  
that as an option or did you  
just not care?! Lol.

  
(252): well, what about me?

  
(919): Yeah. That’s what   
I’m asking.

  
(252): we never would’ve met   
if not for all of this, i mean

  
(919): Oh.

  
(919): Well

  
(919): You don’t know   
that for sure.

  
(919): We might’ve met anyway.

  
(252): i really doubt it.

  
(252): too many people   
in between.

  
(919): You’d rather have a   
pandemic that reanimates   
human corpses than  
never meet me?

  
(252): this ain’t the worst life

  
(252): it’d be worse if i didn’t  
have you, mcribs or no

  
(919): That’s dumb! You wouldn’t  
even know you missed me   
because you’d’ve never met   
me in the first place

  
(252): my soul would’ve known

  
(252): it would’ve been like,  
‘somethin’ ain’t right here’

  
(919): But you wouldn’t have  
a soul anymore. You sold it  
to be in that timeline,   
remember?

  
(252): my heart, then

  
(252): whatever

  
  
(919): Lol. Makin’ it weird again, man.

  
(919): I really enjoy our   
friendship too, Rhett.

  
(252): you wouldn’t miss me if  
i weren’t in your life?

  
(919): I would! Of   
course I would.

  
(919): I didn’t mean to   
make you feel like I don’t   
care about you, Rhett.

  
(919): You aren’t disposable. Don’t   
let my jokes or whatever you  
tell yourself get to you.

  
(252): mmm

  
(252): okay

  
(919): ...What’s a McRib taste   
like, anyway?

  
(252): heaven.

  
(252): a fitting thing to sell  
your soul for.

  
(919): Why do I doubt that?

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

(252): i hope these texts aren’t   
gettin’ annoying

  
(252): i know you said you wanted  
me to text you more often

  
(252): and i don’t blame you, but

  
(252): i also don’t want the phone to  
put you in a compromised situation,  
safety-wise

  
(919): Don’t you dare stop.

  
(919): For now, anyway.

  
(919): When the nightmares stop, I’ll  
let you know. THEN you can ease up.

  
(919): And I promise I’m being   
safe in the meantime.

  
(252): nightmares?

  
(919): Waking up to a ridiculous amount  
of texts from you brings me back to  
reality real fast, so it’s nothing.

  
(919): Never thought your early morning  
waterfall of notifications would be   
an integral piece of my morning, lol.

  
(252): thanks for making me   
a part of your daily routine

  
(252): seriously though

  
(252): you’re having nightmares?

  
(252): about what

  
(919): They aren’t about   
specific stuff.

  
(919): Just like… Darkness.  
A feeling of dread.

  
(919): Sadness?

  
(919): Loneliness.

  
(252): that’s awful

  
(919): I know I’m not alone,   
but still. Makes getting a   
good night’s sleep hard.

  
(252): thanks, link’s brain

  
(252): more stuff needlessly   
stressing him out

  
(919): I hope you’re not   
implying that the bite   
was ‘needless stress?’

  
(252): well… okay, no, but i   
came back from it just fine

  
(919): …

  
(919): If our roles were   
reversed right now, you’d   
tear into me for being   
so nonchalant.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): yeah, you’re right

  
(919): Hypocrite.

  
(252): is there any way   
i can help?

  
(919): With the nightmares?   
Uhhh, I don’t think so.

  
(919): I mean, you’ve been texting  
nonstop, and that’s already   
a big boon.

  
(252): big boone

  
(252): daniel boone’s lesser   
known cousin

  
(919): Pffft.

  
(252): seriously, if something   
would make it easier i’m willing   
to do it

  
(252): anything

  
(252): name it

  
(919): I mean…

  
(919): There’s kinda something, but

  
(252): yeah?

  
(919): It’s just

  
(919): This thought I haven’t   
been able to get out of   
my head for the past   
few days?

  
(919): It’s stupid though

  
(919): Crap

  
(919): Nevermind

  
(252): ohh no no no no no

  
(252): c’mon

  
(252): tell me

  
(252): tell big papa what   
you need

  
(919): ‘Big papa?’

  
(919): Is he related to Big Boone?

  
(252): come sit on daddy’s   
lap and tell him what you   
want for christmas

  
(919): RHETT LOL

  
(919): First of all, no

  
(919): Secondly, are you confusing   
your self-assigned ‘daddy’   
persona with Santa?

  
(252): oh

  
(252): oh yeah hahahaha

  
(919): Gracious.

  
(252): dads play santa so it  
makes sense

  
(252): no more hedging! c’mon

  
(919): Well, daddy, I’ve   
always wanted

  
(919): Yeesh, I can’t even   
play along, lol

  
(919): Just

  
(919): Your voice?

  
(252): you want a phone call?

  
(919): Umm more like

  
(919): If you could call and   
leave a voicemail?

  
(919): That way I can

  
(919): Have it?

  
(919): Whenever I need it   
ugh this sounds dumb

  
(252): ohhhh that’s not dumb

  
(252): easy peasy

  
(252): what do you want   
me to say?

  
(919): Whatever you want, since  
you’re willing to entertain the  
notion.

  
(919): Plus, if I have it

  
(919): Then

  
(919): If anything were   
to happen to you

  
(252): you don’t gotta justify  
it, man

  
(252): whatever i want, huh

  
(252): alright.

  
(252): don’t pick up or i’ll  
wuss out, yeah? hahaha

  
(919): Well obviously, lol.

  
(919): Thanks, Rhett.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(919): Are you fucking   
serious right now.

  
(252): hey, YOU SAID  
whatever i wanted

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(919): I know I did, but

  
(919): For the FIRST time I   
get to hear your voice, THIS   
is what you choose to do??

  
(919): This is obscene

  
(919): Did you have to take   
the joke that far?!

  
(919): Why are you so   
close to the mic

  
(252): oh man i’m so happy

  
(919): Like… growling in my ear

  
(919): What’s with the heavy   
breathing omg what were   
you DOING

  
(252): hahahahahahaha

  
(252): this is the best day   
of my life

  
(919): Jesus

  
(919): This is borderline   
pornographic

  
(919): My neck is on fire

  
(252): yeah? you blushing?

  
(919): If you die I’m playing  
this at your funeral

  
(919): Your attendees will be   
as mortified as I am

  
(919): Why would you   
do this?????

  
(252): you said whatever i wanted!

  
(252): dang

  
(252): if you hate it so much  
why you keep playin’ it then?

  
(919): IT’S FIVE FREAKIN   
MINUTES LONG

  
(919): I’M STILL ON THE   
FIRST PLAYBACK

  
(252): HAHAHAHA

  
(919): Good lord, Rhett

  
(252): i can redo it if you like?

  
(252): i’ll take it seriously   
this time

  
(919): Tempting as that is

  
(919): This is actually a much   
better representation of the  
kinda person you are, LOL.

  
(919): Not what I had in   
mind, but it works.

  
(919): Thanks, ya weirdo.

  
(252): daddy aims to please

 


	14. Log 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated - please check them and take care of yourself.

(252): man

  
(252): i just finished rummaging  
through a garbage bin

  
(919): That’s disgusting. Why??

  
(252): i thought there might’ve  
been a henway in there

  
(252): would’ve been really  
helpful

  
(919): ...you sneaky dog.

  
(252): what?

  
(919): I almost fell for it,  
but then I typed it out.

  
(252): what are you talking about?  
i’s just looking for a henway

  
(919): ...just this ONCE, okay?  
I really shouldn’t be  
encouraging you, lol.

  
(919): What’s a henway?

  
(252): ABOUT TWO POUNDS

  
(919): There ya go.

  
(919): Worth it? Feel better?

  
(252): god yes thank you

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(252): you never told me  
what you thought about  
my voice

  
(919): Uhh.

  
(919): What was I  
supposed to say?

  
(252): i dunno

  
(252): i assumed you’d  
have something

  
(252): like ‘oh you sound  
just how i imagined you  
would’ or ‘you should sing  
country music, you’d go  
down in history’

  
(919): No offense, but it’s  
hard to get a good measure  
on your timbre through all  
of the moaning.

  
(252): dang

  
(252): well i was pretty  
pleased with myself but  
now i’m wishin’ i’d taken  
it seriously haha

  
(919): You… sound pretty  
serious about it.

  
(252): you listenin’ to it  
right now? haha

  
(252): i committed to it

  
(919): Yeah. No kidding.

  
(252): are you mad about it?

  
(919): Nah, lol. It makes  
me smile.

  
(252): smile, huh?

  
(252): happy is good

  
(919): Yep.

  
(919): Hey, so

  
(919): I’m gonna head  
to bed early.

  
(919): Tired.

  
(252): oh. okay.

  
(252): that’s not like you.

  
(919): Well

  
(919): Maybe if I settle  
down now I can be up  
in time to catch your  
pre-dawn texts live.

  
(252): mhmm

  
(252): you’re welcome to try

  
(919): I am.

  
(919): Setting up camp now.

  
(919): Okay.

  
(252): yep.

  
(919): Going to sleep.

  
(919): Night.

  
(252): night.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(252): huh

  
(252): you declined my  
call awful fast.

  
(252): thought you were asleep

  
(252): whatcha doin’, neal?

  
(919):

  
(252): blank message

  
(252): alright

  
(252): that’s normal

  
(919): Are you in any  
immediate danger

  
(252): nope

  
(252): just seeing if you  
were having fun

  
(919): ...

  
(252): send me a pic?

  
(919): Goodnight, Rhett.

  
(252): hahahaha

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(252): so

  
(919): Can we not?

  
(252): whoa, what

  
(252): you ARE up early

  
(252): kudos to you

  
(919): I slept well.

  
(252): holy smokes

  
(252): that good, huh?

  
(919): What?

  
(252): mmm it's okay

  
(252): ain’t nothin’ to be  
ashamed of, man

  
(252): i get it

  
(919): Rhett, you don’t know  
what you’re talking about.

  
(919): Please don’t.

  
(252): nah, i’m just sayin’ is all

  
(252): these are desperate times

  
(252): any port in a storm, right?

  
(919): For the love of God

  
(919): Don’t make it weirder  
than it already is, alright?

  
(252): so you’re acknowledging  
that ‘it’ is a thing, then

  
(252): weird? why’s it weird

  
(919): Oh gosh, let me think  
about that

  
(919): Hmm because it’s  
REALLY embarrassing

  
(919): And you’re my  
straight best friend??

  
(919): Look, I’m just gonna  
delete it. Okay?

  
(919): It’s just a joke that  
went too far and it made me  
all bothered cause it’s been  
a really long time, but I’ll just  
delete it ‘cause it’s not worth  
having this conversation.  
I’m sorry I kept it.

  
(252): whoa whoa hang  
on a second

  
(919): Why.

  
(252): look

  
(252): i’m sorry i was putting  
you on the spot about it

  
(252): if it gives you something  
you need, don’t delete it

  
(252): i won’t tease about  
it anymore. promise

  
(252): but you don’t gotta  
be embarrassed

  
(252): it’s just… a material

  
(919): ‘Material?’

  
(252): yeah, man

  
(252): if i found a skin mag  
i’d hang onto it

  
(252): it’s just a tool

  
(252): and you don’t even  
gotta keep reminding yourself  
that it’s my voice

  
(252): it’s just… some  
guy’s voice

  
(919): That’s not

  
(919): Sure. Okay.

  
(919): If it’ll end this  
conversation.

  
(919): ...I’ll delete it when  
we meet. Then it’ll be too  
bizarre to keep.

  
(252): there ya go

  
(252): see? no big deal

  
(919): Yeah. No big deal.

  
(919): It’ll just feel like  
I’m meeting someone  
from a porno I watched  
once we're together.

  
(252): it really doesn’t  
bother me

  
(252): the texts last night  
were just… i dunno

  
(252): i was having fun  
with you

  
(252): you’re so transparent  
hahahaha

  
(919): Ugh.

  
(919): I hate lying. Not  
good at it.

  
(252): that’s a good trait to have

  
(252): besides

  
(252): no need to lie when  
it comes to me

  
(252): you can tell me anything

  
(919): ...okay.

  
(919): Thanks? I guess?  
Lol. So weird.

  
(252): i won’t mention it  
again, haha

  
(919): ‘preciate it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(252): what’s your location,  
linkster

  
(919): Just got to Angier.  
I wish the sun would come  
out… it’s so dreary.

  
(252): angier! you goin’  
through buies creek?

  
(919): Looks that way, lol.  
Want me to stop by anywhere  
for ya? You’re not missing any  
heirlooms from your place,  
are you?

  
(252): nah, but you’re welcome  
to camp in my house when  
you get there

  
(252): i’ll send you the address

  
(919): Oh, cool! Thanks.

  
(919): Where are you?

  
(252): leaving rose hill now

  
(919): Cypress Creek. Rose Hill.

  
(919): I don’t recognize any of the  
towns you’re stoppin’ in. You  
really ARE back-woodsing it.

  
(252): i’ve hardly had any  
trouble too, so i think i’m  
doin’ pretty good

  
(919): Yeah. Missing fingers.  
No problem.

  
(252): well, aside from  
THAT i mean

  
(252): you feeling okay?  
still gettin’ enough sleep  
and eating regularly?

  
(919): I need to stop and  
loot some food soon, but I  
can do that here. Otherwise,  
yeah. I feel great.

  
(252): good

  
(252): ahh life is good

  
(919): Lol! Always so chipper.

  
(252): listen man, this axe  
is a game-changer

  
(252): it’s just like the stabby  
poky but now it’s on a long stick

  
(919): Wow. You have such  
a way with words.

  
(252): well thank you

  
(919): Hey Rhett?

  
(252): what’s up?

  
(919): You know how you  
told me that I can tell  
you anything?

  
(252): of course

  
(252): and i meant it

  
(919): Something’s kinda been  
weighing on my conscience.

  
(252): i’ll carry it for ya

  
(252): pass it over

  
(919): The night you spent  
in Cypress Creek?

  
(252): yeah?

  
(919): I was really lonely.  
And worried.

  
(919): I couldn’t stop obsessing  
about hearing back from you.

  
(919): So… I went back and  
read the texts you sent.

  
(252): aww

  
(252): that’s really sweet

  
(252): did they make you  
all emotional? haha

  
(919): The ones before I  
found the phone, I mean.  
  
  
(919): Your ‘journaling’ texts.

  
(252): oh.

  
(919): I’m sorry. I know you  
said you would be embarrassed,  
but I was desperate for words from  
you that I’d never read before.

  
(252): no, it’s okay

  
(252): i understand

  
(252): i’m not upset

  
(252): not now that i  
know you better

  
(252): no worries

  
(919): Well. Maybe a little worry?

  
(252): what d’you mean?

  
(919): You kinda mentioned

  
(919): Like… hoping someone  
would kill you if they found  
you? And not being strong  
enough to do it yourself.

  
(252): ohhh

  
(252): right

  
(252): i kinda remember saying  
something like that i guess

  
(919): Ever since I read that,  
it hasn’t sat right with me.

  
(919): I just wanted to make  
sure that’s not something you  
wish would really happen.

  
(252): ah

  
(252): a lot has changed  
since i sent that message,  
link

  
(252): i definitely don’t want to die

  
(252): i’ve got stuff to live  
for now. stuff i wanna do

  
(919): Promise?

  
(252): promise.

  
(252): everything changed  
when you started texting me

  
(252): before you came along  
i was just wandering around  
aimlessly

  
(252): but it ain’t like that now

  
(252): you don’t gotta worry  
about me

  
(919): Okay. Good.

  
(919): I was hoping reading those  
texts would make me smile,  
but that part

  
(919): It made me feel sick.

  
(252): please don’t linger on it

  
(252): if i still felt that way,  
would i have sought out  
treatment for the bite?

  
(919): Huh. I guess not.

  
(252): exactly

  
(252): i like my life when  
you’re in it. apocalypse be  
damned

  
(919): Lol. Okay, I’m convinced.

  
(919): Thanks, Rhett.

  
(252): of course

  
(252): don’t let stuff eat  
away at you

  
(252): talk to me, okay?

  
(919): I will.

  
(919): You make everything  
sound so simple.

  
(252): isn’t it?

  
(919): Well... I don’t know  
about that.

  
(919): But the thought  
is refreshing.

  
(252): hahaha

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Nietoperz wrote an amazing spin-off about Link listening to Rhett's voicemail! Thank you, love!  
> Read it here (nsfw): [[x](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17482358)]


	15. Log 15

(252): okay, full disclosure

  
(919): ??

  
(252): my back is killing me

  
(919): Shoot. I keep forgetting   
about your back.

  
(919): Take it easy if   
you need to!

  
(252): it’s bad today, man

  
(252): i probably have to  
rest, sorry

  
(252): and i’m gonna text you   
a lot, since i’ll be bored.

  
(919): Oh, whatever will I do?  
Don’t be dumb. That sounds nice.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): so right now

  
(252): i’m in what used   
to be a kmart

  
(252): as if they weren’t   
empty enough before   
the outbreak

  
(919): Do you have any   
painkillers or anything?

  
(252): i do not

  
(252): that would be so nice

  
(919): Are you mobile enough  
to go find some? There’s bound  
to be a pharmacy or something   
nearby.

  
(252): mmm i’d rather stay   
put for now

  
(252): but i’ll keep my eyes   
peeled for one when i head   
out

  
(919): Alright. Take it easy, yeah?

  
(919): We’re gonna have to   
get you into a massage routine   
once we’re in Fayetteville.

  
(252): hahaha good luck finding  
a masseuse open for business

  
(919): I meant me, idjit.

  
(919): I’ll give you massages.

  
(252): wait REALLY

  
(919): ...yes?

  
(919): Lol why are you  
so excited?

  
(252): THAT SOUNDS AMAZING

  
(252): GOSH

  
(919): LOL well dang

  
(919): I guess that’s a   
commitment I can’t back   
out of, then

  
(252): SCREW THIS I’M   
HITTIN’ THE ROAD

  
(919): Rhett no! LMAO stay   
there omg

  
(252): i’m not sure i could   
stand if i wanted to haha

  
(919): Good. Take some time off.

  
(919): I’m not staying in Angier.   
Heading to Buies Creek now.   
You sure it’s okay if I stop   
by your old place?

  
(252): of course

  
(252): just be careful, haven’t   
been back since i first left

  
(252): i dunno what might be   
waiting for you there

  
(919): I will be, don’t worry.

  
(919): You forget I use a  
shotgun or something?

  
(252): no, didn’t forget

  
(252): guns don’t make you   
invincible though

  
(919): Fair enough.

  
(252): you got a good   
amount of shells?

  
(919): Not tons, but enough   
for a sticky situation. I’ll   
watch my six.

  
(252): please do, since i can’t

  
(252): hahaha

  
(919): Lord.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(919): Nightly reminder that   
you’re not disposable   
or replaceable.

  
(252): whoa, nightly?

  
(252): this is the first one   
by my account

  
(252): you owe me a lot   
of these

  
(919): I’ll try not to drop the   
ball anymore. Lol.

  
(252): thanks, man. i  
appreciate it a lot

  
(919): Just remember it.

  
(252): ...sounds ominous

  
(919): No, it’s just

  
(919): You just seem to have   
security issues about me   
leaving, or secretly hating   
you or something?

  
(919): Gotta beat that out   
of you.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): beat it out of me, link

  
(919): Tryin’.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): Your house is clear.

  
(919): Thanks for the tip about   
jiggling the back window.

  
(252): wow, you there already??  
that was fast

  
(252): you’re the one who   
said it’s not a race

  
(919): Wow.

  
(919): This place is really nice.

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): you expected me to   
be a slob, didn’t you?

  
(919): ...low-key. I might’ve. Lol.

  
(252): i mean

  
(252): stay away from the   
laundry basket, i didn’t   
empty it before i left haha

  
(919): Ooo, dirty laundry. Haha.

  
(919): I can sleep wherever?

  
(252): yeah man, sleep in   
my bed

  
(252): my mattress is awesome

  
(252): i miss that dang thing

  
(252): or my back misses it,   
i guess haha

  
(919): Thanks dude

  
(919): Shoot.

  
(919): Your electricity’s cut off.

  
(252): ahh that makes sense

  
(252): sorry ‘bout it

  
(252): i guess most public   
places are still powered but   
not residential

  
(252): in that case stay clear of   
the fridge too

  
(919): Don’t apologize.   
Minor inconvenience.

  
(919): Only thing is, I was   
hoping to charge my phone   
while I was here.

  
(252): mmmm

  
(252): OH

  
(252): there’s a little generator  
in the bedroom closet

  
(252): should have enough   
juice for a phone

  
(919): What, seriously??

  
(919): Lemme look

  
(252): yeah, i took the first   
aid supplies and some of   
the tools, but there’s an   
emergency readiness kit   
in there

  
(252): help yourself to   
anything left

  
(919): Found it!

  
(919): Good lord, Rhett

  
(919): A gas mask

  
(919): A crank radio

  
(919): Are these real   
gold bars??

  
(252): i meant to put those  
in the safe before i left. whoops

  
(252): ain’t much use now

  
(919): What about your clothes?

  
(252): are you asking if   
they’re real too? haha

  
(919): No, I mean

  
(919): Can I borrow some?

  
(919): It’s just that the   
outfit I’ve got on is   
pretty dirty

  
(252): oh! of course, have at

  
(252): i dunno how well they’ll  
fit you but you can try

  
(919): Oh my gosh.

  
(919): Your pants are so LONG

  
(252): BELIEVE ME NOW?

  
(919): You CANNOT be this tall

  
(252): ahh sweet validation

  
(252): drown me in that shit, neal

  
(919): Well the pants are   
a no-go

  
(919): But some of these   
sweaters are so soft, oh   
my gosh

  
(919): I love this one with the   
blue and white patterns

  
  
(252): ugh i miss that one

  
(252): take good care of it  
for me, yeah?

  
(252): i mean

  
(252): i won’t be upset with you   
if anything happens to it

  
(252): just feeling sentimental,   
i suppose

  
(919): I understand. I’ll take really  
good care of it until I see you. Then  
it’s yours again.

  
(919): Cool if I take a shower?

  
(252): you don’t gotta ask, link

  
(252): if the water’s workin’,   
get your butt in there

  
(919): Don’t tell me what   
to do with my butt.

  
(919): RUNNING WATER

  
(919): I’M SO HAPPY

  
(919): THERE’S A TOOTHBRUSH   
UNDER THE SINK TOO

  
(252): hahahahaha

  
(252): still in its packaging,   
right? it’s yours

  
(919): Omg I feel like   
it’s my birthday

  
(919): Hot water

  
(919): Text back soon

  
(252): enjoy, friend

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(919): I’ve never been so cozy.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): glad you’re enjoying  
the amenities of casa de rhett

  
(919): I’m just

  
(919): So clean

  
(919): I forgot what it was   
like to be this clean

  
(919): Wearing your sweater

  
(919): Found a pair of lounge   
pants that fit me good which   
means they must look kinda   
silly on you, lol

  
(252): you’re painting such   
a picture of home right now

  
(252): i’m gettin’ choked up haha

  
(252): you sure you don’t   
wanna stay there? i can head   
to buies creek just as easy

  
(919): We’re on a mission.  
Remember?

  
(919): We gotta get you that   
tank, McLaughlin.

  
(252): but

  
(252): you’re home

  
(252): you’re all cozy in   
my home

  
(252): OH GOSH what a   
choice to make

  
(919): LOL. You’ll have a new   
home in Fayetteville.

  
(919): If we don’t like it there,   
we can always pack up and   
come back here.

  
(252): link i wanna be there   
so bad

  
(252): i wanna see you in   
my clothes

  
(919): It’s not that funny, lol.   
They’re just a little big on   
me is all.

  
(252): i bet your hands are   
doin’ that thing where your   
sleeves are too long so only   
your fingertips are showing

  
(919): ...yeah, they are. Lol.

  
(252): dang

  
(919): Who’s the couple in the   
photo in the hallway? Parents?

  
(252): that’s mom and dad, yeah

  
(919): They look sweet.

  
(252): they are

  
(252): miss ‘em

  
(919): Do you know   
what happened…?

  
(252): they were on vacation   
when the outbreak started and  
never came back

  
(252): didn’t take their phones

  
(252): i choose to believe they’re  
living it up in the totally unaffected  
dominican republic

  
(919): Aww, yeah. Livin’   
the good life.

  
(919): What about this group   
picture in the living room?

  
(252): cousins

  
(919): Which one are you?

  
(252): i’m not in that one

  
(252): i took the picture

  
(919): What a rip-off. No other   
family members could’ve   
volunteered to take it?

  
(252): nah i insisted

  
(252): i don’t need photos   
of myself hangin’ around my   
own house, man

  
(919): Dang it

  
(919): I thought I’d got you!

  
(252): haha, sorry

  
(919): I meant to say

  
(919): You have really good taste,  
man. Your closet’s got a lot   
of nice stuff in it.

  
(252): oh thanks!

  
(252): i try

  
(919): Way trendier than I’d assumed.

  
(919): What are you wearing now?

  
(252): oh my, link

  
(252): you dirty dog

  
(919): LOL C’mon, you know   
what I mean.

  
(252): they’re filthy but just some  
jeans and a blue hoodie

  
(252): love kirkland’s stuff

  
(252): what about you?

  
(919): I already told you

  
(252): what’s your other outfit i mean

  
(252): the one you usually wear?

  
(919): Jeans and a red plaid   
button-up.

  
(252): oooh nice

  
(919): You really don’t have a single  
pic of yourself anywhere in here?

  
(252): i really don’t

  
(252): sorry to disappoint

  
(919): It’s fine. I got my own hopes   
up is all, lol.

  
(919): Still not gonna ask for a selfie,   
but I wouldn’t have considered   
that cheating.

  
(252): nah I would’ve done  
the same thing, lol

  
(252): sun’s setting quick

  
(252): you should get some rest

  
(919): Will do!

  
(919): I’m so excited

  
(919): Gosh, your bed is nice

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): wish i was there

  
(919): You’ve got a sleeping bag  
now, though, right? You’re all set!

  
(252): oh, yeah

  
(252): you’re right

  
(252): okay, sleep tight, link

  
(919): Night, Rhett!

 


	16. Log 16

(919): So I know you’re asleep, but

  
(919): I realized something,  
curled up here in bed

  
(919): I’ve got your ex girlfriend’s  
phone in my hands

  
(919): I don’t know why I  
didn’t think of this sooner

  
(919): There’s GOTTA be  
pictures of you on this thing.

  
(919): You were together for  
years, right?

  
(919): I’m gonna look through her pics

  
(919): Oh gosh. I’m kinda nervous, lol.

  
(919): Okay, I’m going in.

  
(252): waht

  
(252): link

  
(252): wait

  
(252): link

  
(252): oh my god you sneaky  
bastard, don’t you dare

  
(919): Doin’ it

  
(919): You said it yourself that  
it’s not cheating if I have the means

  
(252): please don’t

  
(252): liiiink

  
(252): i don’t know what she  
kept on there

  
(919): …

  
(919): I’m not gonna see  
any dick pics, right?

  
(252): uhhh

  
(252): no?

  
(252): i’m pretty sure no

  
(252): i don’t remember sending  
her nudes at any point. or posing.

  
(252): no guarantees though

  
(252): can’t believe you woke me  
up for this, good gosh

  
(919): Lol! C’mon, we’re both  
camped in safe spots. Midnight  
chat session?

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): well when you put  
it like that

  
(252): how could i say no?

  
(919): Wow.

  
(252): hmm?

  
(919): She’s pretty. Cassie,  
I mean.

  
(252): yeah, she was

  
(919): Brunette.

  
(252): yep. i have a type

  
(919): Mm

  
(919): Lots of selfies.  
Can’t blame her.

  
(919): Lots of DIY crafts, too.  
She was into Pinterest, I see.

  
(919): Lots of nights out  
with girlfriends

  
(919): Holy shit

  
(919): Is this you???

  
(919): ...I think this is you, Rhett

  
(252): describe the guy?

  
(919): Y’all are at a bar, looks like

  
(919): He fits the description  
you gave me

  
(919): You’ve got your  
arm around her.

  
(919): You’re wearing a baseball  
cap with a wood-grain print  
on the bill?

  
(252): shoot, man

  
(252): guilty

  
(919): Wow.

  
(252): don’t unfriend me  
please, haha

  
(919): No, it’s just

  
(919): You look really  
happy, dude.

  
(252): that was a great  
night for sure

  
(252): we had good times,  
even if it fizzled out

  
(252): kinda makes me glad  
to know she felt the same way

  
(252): or at least cared enough not to  
delete evidence of the good times

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(252): you still lookin’ through ‘em?

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(252): ...no dick pics right

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(919): No. No dick pics.

  
(252): thank gosh

  
(252): i guess there’d be no  
way of knowing whether any  
given dick is mine though, hahaha

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(252): uh

  
(252): you okay, link?

  
(919): I’m good.

  
(919): You’re really handsome.

  
(252): oh wow. really?

  
(919): Really.

  
(252): well thank you. feels good

  
(252): gettin’ flustered over here

  
(252): okay, i know you well enough  
to know somethin’s bothering you

  
(252): what’s wrong?

  
(252): it’s the baseball cap isn’t it

  
(252): listen, in my defense, wood  
is the coolest thing on god’s green  
earth and it needs more love

  
(919): No, it’s

  
(919): Nothing.

  
(919): Just…

  
(919): Shit

  
(919): You were really  
happy with her.

  
(919): You’re beaming in  
every photo she kept.

  
(252): well i mean of course  
she’s gonna keep the ones  
where i’m smiling

  
(252): right? it wasn’t all  
sunshine and rainbows  
despite how it might  
seem from the pictures

  
(919): There’s this one of you

  
(919): You’re sitting on a  
couch, bundled up in a  
pile of blankets

  
(919): There’s a dog in your lap

  
(919): You’re sleeping, and it  
looks like you might be near a  
fireplace cause there’s this  
orange glow falling over you

  
(252): ahh that was at her house

  
(252): yep, she loved that photo

  
(252): kept it as her background  
for a long time

  
(919): Rhett?

  
(252): yeah?

  
(919): I feel weird.

  
(252): what’s wrong? not  
gettin’ sick, are ya?

  
(919): I think

  
(919): I think I’m jealous?

  
(252): jealous?

  
(919): Fuck

  
(919): Nevermind, it’s late

  
(919): We should go to bed

  
(919): I never should have done this

  
(919): Curiosity got the best of me  
but I should’ve just waited to  
see your face

  
(919): I’m sorry

  
(252): link.

  
(252): don’t you dare ghost me  
right now.

  
(252): we’re talking about this.

  
(919): Rhett, no, I

  
(919): I don’t know why  
I said that

  
(252): because it’s how you feel!

  
(919): Okay, I don’t know why  
I feel that way, then

  
(919): Can we not, please?

  
(252): link, every single time  
you begin to let me in, you  
immediately try to shut me  
back out again

  
(252): before i even get to talk to  
you about it

  
(252): it fucking sucks, man

  
(252): it involves me, does it not?

  
(252): i wanna talk about it

  
(919): There’s nothing to talk about!!

  
(252): there obviously is!!

  
(252): what hurts more than  
not letting me know what’s  
going on with you is the fact  
that you must assume i’m  
going to hate you afterwards 

  
(919): It’s because I don’t want  
to lose what we have, Rhett

  
(919): Once you say something,  
you can’t take it back

  
(919): So I’d rather not continue  
a conversation where I can’t  
trust whatever’s going to spill  
out of my stupid mouth

  
(252): i WANT you to spill

  
(252): link, i don’t think  
you understand

  
(252): there is absolutely

  
(252): nothing

  
(252): you could say

  
(252): to drive me away  
from you.

  
(252): we’re past that point.

  
(252): i am not going to  
leave you.

  
(252): no matter what.

  
(252): and i know it’s hard,  
and it’s embarrassing, to  
bear the vulnerable parts  
of yourself to someone else

  
(252): but

  
(252): have you ever considered  
that you might say something  
i really want to hear?

  
(252): if you’d just let yourself say it,

  
(919): I’m jealous because you  
look so happy with her, and  
I want you to look that happy  
with me

  
(919): I’m upset because these  
fuckin’ photos show a side  
of you that I want to be near,  
but someone else was there  
and for some moronic reason  
decided it wasn’t a life they  
wanted

  
(919): I’m messed up because  
every time you make a suggestive  
joke about us, my face burns like  
hell and I’m not sure how to respond  
because I’m scared you’ll get  
uncomfortable because of  
who I am

  
(919): I’m totally fucked because  
you’re my straight best friend and  
I’ve already finished into my own  
hand more than once to the sound  
of your goddamn voice

  
(919): I’m an idiot because  
you’re not ever going to  
be interested in me and  
I don’t know why I can’t just  
get over that when there’s  
hard evidence right in front  
of me that you could land  
any girl you want

  
(919): I’m wearing your clothes  
and I can barely handle being in  
your bed because it smells like  
you and it’s so much warmer and  
muskier than I ever imagined,  
and I can’t stop picturing you,   
lying here next to me

  
(919): I’m ashamed that I took  
screenshots of all the times you  
called me baby just so I could  
look at them whenever I want

  
(919): And despite all  
of your reassurances?

  
(919): I’m scared shitless that  
you’re going to block me for  
saying all of this and that  
suddenly you’ll just be gone,  
which is so much worse than  
just being rejected by you

  
(919): Because I love you, Rhett

  
(919): Shit

  
(919): I’m terrified and I don’t know  
how to handle it, but I’ve never  
felt this sort of connection with  
anyone before

  
(919): Not even my ex husband

  
(919): And it’s real and it’s the  
scariest thing I’ve ever had  
to live with, even at the end  
of the world

  
(919): So there it is

  
(919): You wanted me to let go

  
(919): Now I can’t take it back

  
(919): Shit

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): Please don’t leave me.

  
(252): are you done?

  
(919): ...yes

  
(252): good.

  
(252): I love you too, Link.

  
(919): fuck

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by yours truly: [[x](https://its-mike-kapufty.tumblr.com/post/182017770872/252-are-you-done-919-yes-252-good)]


	17. Log 17

(919): No joke

  
(252): no joke.

  
(919): What if it’s not okay

  
(252): it is okay.

  
(919): What do we do

  
(252): whatever makes you happy.

  
(919): What about you

  
(252): i’m very happy.

  
(919): How long will that last

  
(252): however long i’ve got you.

  
(919): You love me

  
(252): i do.

  
(919): What if I’m ugly

  
(252): i could never think   
you’re ugly.

  
(919): You’ve never seen me

  
(252): doesn’t matter.

  
(919): But you like women

  
(252): i like you.

  
(919): But you’re straight

  
(252): i thought i was. hahaha

  
(919): Am I dreaming

  
(252): no, but you might be   
deliriously sleepy

  
(919): I kept you up

  
(252): more than worth it.

  
(252): but you should   
go to bed now

  
(919): Okay

  
(252): get some rest

  
(919): Rhett

  
(252): yeah?

  
(919): Would you say it

  
(252): i love you.

  
(919): I love you too

  
(919) But

  
(919): I meant the other thing

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): sleep tight, babe.

  
(919): Mmm

 


	18. Log 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated - please check and take care of yourself.

(919): Good morning.

  
(252): ahh

  
(252): morning, sunshine

  
(919): So last night was a  
fever dream, right?

  
(919): I didn’t really say  
any of that.

  
(252): oh for fuck’s sake

  
(919): LOL. Kidding.

  
(252): mmhmm. we’ll see

  
(919): You were right, by the way.  
Your bed is amazing.

  
(252): i ain’t no liar

  
(252): glad you slept well

  
(252): i feel better today too

  
(252): i’m closin’ in on turkey

  
(919): You’re hunting right now??

  
(252): no, the town hahahaha

  
(919): OH. Lol. I wasn’t aware  
that was a place.

  
(252): that’s what the sign says

  
(252): i’m not sure they should  
even call it a town though

  
(252): all i see is like… one  
junction of streets

  
(919): That’s all you need to  
qualify as a town here. Lol.

  
(252): true

  
(252): you headin’ out soon?

  
(919): Yep. Gonna grab some  
stuff and hit the road.

  
(919): Think I can fit your  
mattress in my pack?

  
(252): if you can i’ve got  
a thank you note waiting  
for ya written by my back

  
(919): Lol, sorry Rhett’s back.  
If only I were stronger.

  
(252): he forgives you

  
(252): he is a benevolent  
back when it isn’t me we’re  
talking about

  
(919): I don’t like how your  
back has its own pronoun.  
‘He?’ That’s weird.

  
(252): well would you rather  
he be a ‘she?’

  
(919): I’d rather it be an ‘it.’

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(919): Really though, I do have  
some regrets about last night.

  
(252): aaand there goes my  
good mood

  
(919): Wait lemme explain

  
(919): I really didn’t need  
to be so... explicit. In regards  
to the physical stuff.

  
(252): not this again

  
(252): link, i don’t care about  
the voicemail

  
(252): you heard me say  
i love you, right?

  
(252): it’s unconditional

  
(252): fuck your fist into oblivion

  
(252): i do not care

  
(919): Oh, Jesus

  
(919): How can you say  
stuff like that?!

  
(252): ‘cause it’s sex, man

  
(252): i ain’t bothered

  
(919): Eh.

  
(252): look, i’m not callin’  
you a prude or nothin’,  
but you can practice  
loosening up with me

  
(252): when you talk about  
that stuff, i mean

  
(919): THANKS FOR CLARIFYING

  
(252): hahahahahaha

  
(252): aww. i’ll miss how  
easy you are to fluster, though

  
(919): My face is on fire omg

  
(919): Stop talking

  
(252): mouth is currently  
full of chips so. done

  
(919): What kind?? I’m starving

  
(252): cool ranch doritos

  
(252): eat your heart out

  
(919): Uggghhh. Why is the main  
thing in your cupboard just cans  
of beans?? I want chips too

  
(252): my appreciation for beans  
didn’t start with the outbreak

  
(252): mmm now i want beans

  
(252): beans and chips is such a  
GOOD COMBO, GOSH

  
(919): Why would you taint the  
cool ranch flavor like that? Eugh.

  
(252): chips is chips, man

  
(919): Not if they’re flavor-dusted.

  
(252): agree to disagree

  
(252): oh, before i forget

  
(252): i’ve got a joke for you

  
(919): Hit me! It’s been too long.

  
(252): what did O say to Q?

  
(919): ‘Nice tail?’

  
(252): ‘put that thing away, dude'

  
(919): LOL

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(252): guess what

  
(919): What’s that?

  
(252): i found some painkillers

  
(252): there’s a small pharmacy  
here in turkey

  
(919): That’s great, Rhett!  
Enjoy the relief, man.

  
(252): when i saw that  
none of the windows had  
been smashed yet

  
(252): it was like heaven  
was shining down upon me

  
(919): LOL. Don’t go towards  
the light.

  
(919): ...you had to smash  
the windows anyway though,  
didn’t you?

  
(252): well yeah

  
(919): Lol.

  
(252): trusty ole barbara made  
quick work of ‘em

  
(919): You named your axe Barbara?

  
(252): yeah

  
(252): i’ve always liked that name

  
(919): That’s an old lady name.

  
(252): exactly

  
(252): a badass old lady

  
(919): Huh. You’re right, that  
somehow makes it better.

  
(919): Hey, do me a favor please.

  
(252): at your service

  
(919): Stay away from opioids.

  
(252): what?

  
(252): but

  
(919): Rhett. I mean it.

  
(919): Do NOT take opioids  
for your back.

  
(252): i don’t think you  
understand how badly my  
back hurts, link.

  
(919): And I don’t think you  
understand how addictive heavy  
painkillers are, Rhett.

  
(919): The fact that you went  
silent is damning.

  
(919): What did you find?

  
(252): ...fentanyl

  
(919): Rhett, NO.

  
(919): That’s the worst one.  
I’m serious.

  
(919): Do NOT.

  
(252): link, i’m not a moron

  
(252): they’re only dangerous if  
you use ‘em wrong

  
(252): i’m not gonna become  
dependent on them, okay?

  
(919): That’s not up to  
you to decide!

  
(919): You think only idiots get  
addicted to pills? You’re smart,  
deep down you MUST know  
that’s not true.

  
(252): why are you freaking out?

  
(252): they’re just pills, man

  
(252): we’ve got way worse  
threats to worry about out here

  
(919): Yeah, you’re right.

  
(919): I’m sure your reaction  
time will be great when you’re  
stoned out of your mind and  
a hunter finds you singing  
country songs.

  
(252): hey now.

  
(252): that’s uncalled for.

  
(252): i got out of that  
situation just fine and  
confided in you because  
i felt silly, not so you could  
throw it back in my face

  
(919): I know. That should  
tell you how serious I am  
about you NOT TAKING  
OPIOIDS.

  
(252): ...shit

  
(252): fine

  
(252): i’ll put ‘em back

  
(919): Promise?

  
(252): promise

  
(252): but when i’m grumpy  
‘cause this crappy ibuprofen  
isn’t doing a damn thing,  
you’re not allowed to snap at me

  
(919): Deal.

  
(919): Don’t do dumb stuff, man.  
I’m not there to physically  
stop you. Yet. Lol.

  
(252): okay, mom

  
(252): ugh

  
(252): you need anything while  
i’m here?

  
(919): Could really use a  
nose hair trimmer.

  
(252): it’s a mom and pop  
pharmacy. not a walgreen’s.

  
(919): You asked.

  
(252): ...i’ll look

 

 

* * *

  

 

(252): in another life, what  
do you think you might’ve  
done for a living?

  
(919): Oh gosh. I’ve never  
really thought about it before.

  
(252): really? well you should

  
(252): it’s a fun way to  
pass time

  
(919): I know what your  
answer would be. Lol.

  
(252): well yeah, i’m not  
quiet about how much i  
love singing haha

  
(919): I bet you’ve got a great  
singing voice.

  
(252): you know it, baby

  
(919): Haha. Can’t wait to judge  
it for myself.

  
(252): i’m looking forward to it

  
(919): Do you know how to play  
any instruments?

  
(252): yeah, i’ve got a guitar

  
(919): What??

  
(919): How did I not see it? I feel  
like I would’ve noticed a guitar.

  
(252): nah, on me i mean

  
(919): What?!

  
(919): You’ve had a whole guitar on  
you this entire time and you  
never mentioned it?!

  
(252): no, half a guitar

  
(252): yes a whole guitar hahaha

  
(252): why you wiggin’ out

  
(919): It just

  
(919): Seems like a really big  
detail for me not to know about?!  
I dunno

  
(252): i may not have  
mentioned it because  
i was worried you’d chew  
me out for carrying somethin’  
thats purpose is to  
make noise

  
(919): ...okay, yeah.

  
(919): Because honestly, how are  
you not dead???

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): glad you know now

  
(919): Rhett has a guitar.

  
(252): rhett has a guitar

  
(919): That’s

  
(919): That’s hot?

  
(252): oh yeah?

  
(252): you like imagining me  
serenading you?

  
(252): fair warning: i’m having  
to learn how to play differently  
since the bite

  
(919): Doesn’t change the  
fact that it’s attractive.

  
(252): haha

  
(252): now that you know what  
i look like, you can really let your  
fantasies run wild, huh

  
(919): Oh gosh, I’m tappin’ out

  
(252): hahaha i will NEVER  
get tired of making you blush

  
(919): Stop. Lord

  
(252): well what about you, then?  
you never answered the question

  
(919): I did! I told you I’d never  
thought about it before.

  
(252): oh i guess that’s the end  
of that then

  
(252): not. c’mon man, try a little

  
(919): Uhh. It’s embarrassing, but

  
(919): I always kinda wanted to do  
something in front of a camera?

  
(252): you would not BELIEVE

  
(252): the places my mind just went to

  
(252): bless

  
(919): RHETT

  
(919): I MEANT LIKE TELEVISION

  
(252): no let me have this for just  
a little longer

  
(919): I WILL MUTE YOU

  
(919): YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW  
WHAT I LOOK LIKE

  
(252): don’t care

  
(252): it’s your personality that’s sexy

  
(919): Yep, tapping out

  
(252): hahahaha

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(252): you didn’t even let me tell  
you how appropriate it is that  
you’ve daydreamed about being  
on tv

  
(919): You ready to quit teasin’ me?

  
(252): for now haha

  
(919): Good.

  
(919): You may continue.

  
(252): well you remember when  
you described yourself to me

  
(252): i said you sounded like  
someone in hollywood

  
(252): i bet you would’ve had  
scores of fans, man

  
(919): I am beginning to sound  
like a broken record, I realize.

  
(919): But again: you’ve never  
even seen my face.

  
(252): but you’ve got the  
right traits!

  
(252): funny, confident,  
attractive

  
(919): When in the world

  
(919): Did I give you the  
impression that I am confident?

  
(252): let’s see

  
(252): outspoken, opinionated...  
honest, with a little encouragement  
from me, haha

  
(252): these things a confident  
man make

  
(252): also you’re alive in  
this shitstorm, so

  
(252): weak people typically… aren’t

  
(919): Yikes. Okay, I hear you.

  
(919): Huh.

  
(919): I’m only that way with  
you, though, I think?

  
(252): whoa really?

  
(252): i dunno, you were  
pretty sassy with me right  
from the get-go

  
(919): I also felt comfortable  
with you right from the get-go.

  
(252): oh

  
(919): I dunno why that is.

  
(919): I think I feel like  
I can be myself with you.  
Like I'm more capable than  
I am when I’m alone.

  
(252): neal

  
(252): i’m getting bleary-eyed  
over here

  
(919): Aww, Rhett.

  
(919): I thought I told you to  
stop looking directly into the sun?

  
(252): hahahaha there it is

  
(252): see? confident

  
(252): and in that other universe,  
we’d both be famous

  
(252): me, the beloved pupil of  
merle haggard, and you, goin’  
to fundraiser dinners with your  
costar leonardo dicaprio

  
(919): Wow! Big-shots.

  
(252): we meet when i provide  
the soundtrack for your  
oscar-nominated movie

  
(919): Wait, in your fantasy  
my movie was nominated  
but didn’t win? Wtf

  
(252): and we’d still become  
best friends

  
(919): Well

  
(919): That sounds nice.

  
(919): Best friends.

  
(252): as far as the public  
could tell, anyway

  
(252): you gotta look available

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): Too far, omg

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): you gotta promise you won’t  
cheat on me with leo though

  
(919): Leo would probably  
harass me less.

  
(252): i love youuu

  
(919): …ugh

  
(919): Love you, too.

 


	19. Log 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the tags before reading, and take care.

(252): mmmm

  
(252): hey link

  
(252): can we talk

  
(919): You’re up late.

  
(919): Of course. What’s  
on your mind?

  
(252): i wanna talk bout us

  
(919): Uhh

  
(919): Okay? Gosh

  
(919): So blunt. I don’t know  
if I have the constitution to keep  
from getting too embarrassed to  
contribute? But I’ll honestly try

  
(252): what kina love are we

  
(919): Gracious you really just  
jumped in head-first there  
didn’t you

  
(252): i lookin back that the texts

  
(252): and like

  
(252): i kno i love you

  
(252): i really do

  
(252): but how do i know that love is  
the same kIND of love, you know?

  
(252): as love that you feel i mean

  
(919): Rhett, are you okay?

  
(919): Your texts are weird

  
  
(252): yeah

  
(252): i mean no i’m fine

  
(252): nothing wrong

  
(252): just tired

  
(919): Okay… uh

  
(919): I mean

  
(919): I’m kind of worried  
about it too, if we’re being  
honest.

  
(919): I mean

  
(252): mm

  
(919): It scares me because no  
matter if it’s romantic, or assuming  
it is, whether it STAYS romantic, it  
could always change.

  
(252): nooo

  
(252): that’s too much

  
(252): don’t say that

  
(919): Let me finish

  
(919): But regardless of that,  
what I feel is very deep, and  
the essence of it won’t change.  
No matter if the direction goes  
platonic or passionate.

  
(252): do you that

  
(252): that want you want?

  
(252): platonic?

  
(252): just bes friends no tmore

  
(252): don like it

  
(919): Oh my god.

  
(919): You fucking asshole.

  
(252): whoa what

  
(252): link

  
(252): link

  
(252): liink

  
(919): Leave me alone.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(252): link

  
(252): god, baby

  
(252): i’m so, so sorry.

  
(252): i don’t know whether  
your phone died or if you  
turned it off but

  
(252): i’m so sorry

  
(252): i tossed them

  
(252): i really did

  
(252): they’re at the bottom  
of a creek

  
(252): i just thought a few  
wouldn’t hurt

  
(252): i don’t think you’re  
stupid, i don’t know why i  
assumed you wouldn’t notice

  
(252): and to try and bring  
up something so important, too

  
(252): shit

  
(252): link, please

  
(252): god damn it

  
(252): i know i fucked up bad

  
(252): please

  
(252): fuck

 

 

* * *

 

  
(252): link, please?

  
(252): i hate the silence

  
(252): i’m worried about you

  
(252): it’s almost dark

  
(252): all day, nothing

  
(252): please.

  
(252): are you okay?

  
(252): i’m so nauseous

  
(252): it’s my own fault but

  
(252): god, i just want one word

  
(252): i need you.

  
(252): what am i even doing

  
(252): are you still going to  
meet me in fayetteville?

  
(252): fuck

  
(252): i know it’s not an  
excuse but i just wanted  
to see how they would feel

  
(252): you were right, i  
already wish i hadn’t  
thrown them out

  
(252): my brain is angry at  
my body and it feels like  
i’m rotting

  
(252): and on top of all of  
that, you’re not here

  
(252): this is torture

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(252): good morning

 

 

* * *

 

  
(252): i hope you’re having  
a good day

  
(252): it’s nice out, huh?

  
(252): shit

 


	20. Log 20

(252): oh god

  
(252): what if you hate me now

  
(252): i can’t handle that

  
(252): i just can’t

  
(252): what do i do

  
(252): i love you

  
(252): i can’t do this alone

  
(252): but an axe can’t

  
(252): it can’t

  
(919): Stop.

  
(919): Don’t spiral.

  
(919): I love you too.

  
(252): LINK

  
(252): link please oh god

  
(252): don’t go

  
(252): i’m sorry

  
(252): i’m so sorry i lied to you

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(252): yes

  
(252): god, yes, you’re there

  
(919): I asked to be left alone.   
And you’ve been texting   
me nonstop.

  
(252): oh

  
(252): i just

  
(252): our agreement

  
(919): Do you have any idea  
how it felt to realize that   
you were high?

  
(919): And you even had   
the gall to let me catch you.   
During a conversation about   
the nature of our relationship?

  
(919): Are you fucking serious?

  
(919): Like I don’t know you   
better than that.

  
(919): It’s like you didn’t care   
whether I felt betrayed or not.

  
(919): Do I really deserve that?

  
(252): you don’t.

  
(919): You think I’m joking when  
it comes to your well-being?  
Like the promises you make   
to me don’t really matter?

  
(252): no. never.

  
(919): It’s a slippery slope, Rhett.

  
(919): Pills are a slippery   
fucking slope.

  
(919): Ask my ex husband.

  
(919): Make sure to do it when he’s  
medicated, though. Otherwise he  
tends to be in a bad mood.

  
  
(252): Link

  
(252): oh, my god

  
(252): shit

  
(252): fuck

  
(252): link, i didn’t

  
(252): i had no idea

  
(919): I know you didn’t. I didn’t  
want to tell you. But that’s how I   
know. Okay? I know.

  
(919): And I’m done.

  
(252): done?

  
(919): I’m not,

  
(919): EVER,

  
(919): going to subject myself to  
a relationship like that again.

  
(252): link, i would never hurt you

  
(252): i can’t even fathom

  
(252): holy shit

  
(919): You say that now.  
Addiction changes people.

  
(919): I shouldn’t have to show you  
my hospital bills to ensure that you   
understand what’s vital to me.

  
(919): I’m

  
(919): I’m gonna turn my phone  
off for the night. In a pretty foul  
mood now.

  
(252): yeah

  
(252): okay, yeah

  
(252): i’m so

  
(252): i can’t believe i made you

  
(252): relive that

  
(252): or think it might   
happen again, or

  
(252): i’m so sorry, link.

  
(919): You’ve apologized enough.

  
(919): It’s okay. You didn’t   
do it to hurt me.  
  
  
(919): Still gonna turn   
my phone off.

  
(919): But

  
(919): We’re okay.

  
(252): we are?

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(919): You lied, but my damage   
isn’t yours to carry. So for that,   
I’m sorry I snapped.

  
(252): don’t be

  
(252): at all

  
(252): i deserved it

  
(919): ...okay.

  
(919): I love you.

  
(919): I just...

  
(919): I want you as you are.

  
(252): fuck

  
(252): i love you too. so much

  
(919): They’re really gone?

  
(252): yes, absolutely

  
(252): i won’t lie again

  
(252): it’s not worth losing you

  
(919): Okay.

  
(919): Goodnight.

  
(252): goodnight

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(919): I feel better today.

  
(252): that’s great!

  
(252): link

  
(252): have i mentioned   
how sorry i am?

  
(919): Don’t grovel, please.  
I already said it was okay.

  
(919): You were obviously in a lot  
of pain and just wanted some relief.  
I can see why you did it.

  
(919): Still hurt, though.

  
(252): okay

  
(252): i feel terrible tho

  
(919): It’ll pass. Drink a lot of water.

  
(252): i meant emotionally, but i will

  
(919): That’ll pass too.   
I’ll say this as kindly as I can:  
don’t make yourself the victim  
in this.

  
(252): yeah… yeah, you’re right

  
(252): how are you feeling?

  
(919): I’ve been better. Really  
trying to focus on travel today.

  
(252): have you eaten recently?

  
(919): Yeah, I had one of the  
absolutely awful MREs from  
your survival storage.

  
(252): oh no haha

  
(252): which one?

  
(919): I swear I’m going to  
be tasting that ‘brisket’ for days.

  
(252): oohhh yeah i didn’t take  
that one. notoriously gross

  
(252): that one is ‘desperate’ times  
choice, and i figured i wasn’t THAT  
desperate yet

  
(252): i would’ve warned you   
if i’d known

  
(919): I thought it would’ve   
been more dignified than   
eating whatever I’d salvaged!   
You know? But man, was I   
wrong. Gracious.

  
(252): sorry ‘bout it

  
(252): i, on the other hand, just  
finished a delicious manwich

  
(252): sans bread of course

  
(919): Oh god. No.

  
(252): so good

  
(252): canned meat is an oasis

  
(919): Find me some canned  
veggies for that pantry you  
dreamed up in Fayetteville,  
and I’ll weather all of the   
goo-meat you can eat.

  
(252): easy

  
(252): does corn count?

  
(919): No.

  
(252): wait a second

  
(919): No! Corn is like… almost   
more a starch than a vegetable.

  
(252): no i mean

  
(252): we’re still going to   
fayetteville?

  
(919): Of course. When did  
we say we weren’t??

  
(252): we didn’t

  
(252): i just kinda thought that maybe

  
(252): shoot. i know you don’t want  
to talk about it any more, but

  
(919): Rhett, we had a fight.

  
(919): Everyone fights.

  
(919): Remember when you  
said your love was unconditional?

  
(252): ...yeah

  
(919): Yep.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(919): Yeah. We’re gonna meet,  
and you’re gonna throw your height  
in my face, and I’m going to give you   
massages, and you’re going to play  
your guitar for me.

  
(252): can’t play like i used  
to with two fingers on the neck.

  
(919): I’ll still say encore.

  
(919): Nothing’s changed. You just  
know more about who I am now.  
And that’s a good thing. Okay?

  
(252): yeah

  
(252): okay, no joke

  
(252): i’m crying hahaha

  
(919): Rhett...

  
(252): i was so scared i’d ruined  
whatever we have

  
(919): If anything, my confession  
should’ve been the thing to do it.  
Yet, miraculously, you’re still here.

  
(919): You really think it’d be  
that easy to ruin us?

  
(252): i felt like i had, for sure

  
(919): No way. You ain’t  
shaking me off that easy.

  
(252): please no. burrow into my  
side nice and deep. latch in there

  
(919): Eww omg

 


	21. Log 21

(919): I bet I’ve killed more  
hunters than you.

  
(252): as much as it wounds  
me to admit it, you’re probably  
right about this one haha

  
(919): Yep.

  
(919): Shotgun? Raleigh?

  
(919): Plus I don’t announce  
my position with song and dance  
everywhere I go.

  
(252): HAHA

  
(252): you make me sound  
like a troubadour

  
(252): i really don’t sing as  
often as you seem to think

  
(919): Lol. It’s just funny to  
think about, is all.

  
(252): if you had to guess your  
kill count, what would it be?

  
(252): just an estimate

  
(919): Oh, gosh.

  
(919): It’s gonna sound like I’m  
bragging no matter what I say.

  
(252): naw it won’t

  
(252): not if it’s like… 2

  
(252): hahaha

  
(919): I dunno. It’s hard to guess  
when each one leaves a mark  
on your brain.

  
(919): Maybe… 30 or so?

  
(252): that’s good! look at you,  
neal

  
(252): makin’ me proud

  
(919): Hah. What about you?

  
(252): it can’t be more than like

  
(252): 12 or 13

  
(919): That’s impressive, given  
you use close-combat weapons.

  
(919): Eugh. That makes me  
nervous, man.

  
(919): Just run until I’m  
with you. Lol.

  
(252): it’s not as bad as  
you think

  
(252): the worst part  
is the crunching

  
(919): NO

  
(919): Omg Rhett please don’t

  
(252): turns out even rotten  
skulls provide quite a bit of  
resistance

  
(919): You want me to  
lose my lunch???

  
(919): Every one of them  
used to be a person, Rhett.  
Doesn’t that ever  
mess with you?

  
(252): they LOOK like people,  
but there ain’t no person left in  
there

  
(252): people didn’t walk around  
and try to bite you

  
(252): they’re like parasites

  
(252): wouldn’t you want  
someone to put your corpse  
out of its misery if it wasn’t  
really you anymore?

  
(252): if you were just  
being piloted?

  
(919): I

  
(919): I guess so. Yeah.

  
(252): we’re doing them a kindness

  
(252): don’t feel guilty just  
cause they need mercy

  
(919): God, that’s dark.

  
(252): it is

  
(252): if i turn into one of  
them, will you put me  
down, link?

  
(252): once we meet, i mean

  
(919): Rhett I REALLY don’t  
want to think about that

  
(919): Nothing will touch you  
once I’m with you, okay?  
Safety in pairs.

  
(919): So

  
(919): Don’t talk like that.

  
(919): I love you.

  
(252): i love you too, babe

  
(252): but if it does happen,  
i’d want you to shoot me.  
going on record right now

  
(252): who better to send  
me off than you?

  
(252): consider this the new  
‘if i were in a coma’ dilemma

  
(919): Ugh

  
(919): ...same for me, though.

  
(252): huh

  
(252): you’re right, that’s a very  
unpleasant thought.

  
(919): YEP.

  
(252): it goes both ways, though

  
(252): back to back? axe and barrel?

  
(252): we’ll be unstoppable.

  
(919): Haha! You’ve gotta teach  
me how to swing an axe to kill.

  
(252): done.

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): what was your  
first kiss like?

  
(919): You should play baseball.  
You love the left field, man.

  
(252): oh! that’s good

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): do you remember it?

  
(919): Of course, dude.

  
(919): Seventh grade.  
Her name was Lesli.

  
(252): your first kiss  
was with a girl?

  
(919): LOL

  
(919): Yes, Rhett.

  
(919): ...don’t say it

  
(252): but you’re gay

  
(919): I miss the bingo sheet  
I used to keep in my wallet.

  
(252): hold up now

  
(252): you knew by then, right?

  
(919): I knew I was SUPPOSED  
to like girls. I tried it.

  
(252): oh

  
(252): that’s

  
(252): that’s more sad than just  
being confused

  
(919): I mean… some people  
ARE just confused at first though?

  
(919): I don’t want to get  
into this, lol.

  
(252): yeah, no

  
(252): not the point, sorry

  
(919): What about yours?

  
(252): sixth grade, girl  
named amber

  
(919): How was it?

  
(252): uhh fine, i guess?  
as fine as an awkward kiss  
between two eleven year  
olds can be hahaha

  
(919): Yeaaah. Lol.

  
(252): same question, but  
about yours?

  
(919): What can I say?

  
(919): It didn’t feel right.  
Wasn’t exciting.

  
(252): rip lesli

  
(919): LOL

  
(919): Wasn’t about her, man.

  
(252): hahaha i know, i know

  
(252): i’m a little jealous, actually

  
(919): You’re

  
(919): You’re jealous of a little girl  
from my childhood?

  
(919): Jesus, dude.

  
(252): well not like THAT, you  
made it sound weird

  
(252): i’ve never kissed a  
man before

  
(919): …

  
(919): And?

  
(252): you have

  
(919): Yes?

  
(919): Oh my god

  
(919): Rhett, I was married

  
(919): What are you getting at

  
(252): so you’re going to  
be my first kiss, in a way

  
(252): but i won’t be yours

  
(252): :(

  
(252): dang, man

  
(252): link

  
(252): hahahahaha

  
(252): link. you’re so transparent.

  
(252): stop blushing and  
come back

  
(252): you won’t be able  
to hide behind your hands  
once i’m standing next to you

  
(252): pushing your arms down

  
(252): putting mine around you

  
(252): i want to run my hands  
through your hair.

  
(252): shake up that salt and  
pepper like a messy dinner

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): you can stay quiet but i  
know you’re there

  
(252): you reading this, baby?

  
(252): wanna put my hands  
all over you

  
(252): feel your breath  
on my skin

  
(919): You HAVE to stop

  
(919): I’m going to combust

  
(252): do it.

  
(252): don’t try to stop it, just  
let it come

  
(919): RHETT

  
(919): HOW DID THIS  
CONVERSATION  
SWERVE THIS HARD

  
(252): WHY WON’T YOU  
LET IT HAPPEN

  
(252): NEAL

  
(252): A MAN HAS NEEDS

  
(252): MINE IS YOU

  
(919): RHETT

  
(919): I CAN’T

  
(919): Please

  
(252): too far?

  
(919): It’s

  
(919): I don’t know??

  
(919): I’m embarrassed

  
(919): I can never bring myself  
to play along, or contribute, or

  
(252): oh

  
(252): it’s okay, link

  
(252): i’m not trying to make  
you uncomfortable

  
(252): i do it cause i hope  
you’ll be into it, i guess

  
(252): even if i do joke  
around

  
(252): but if you feel that  
way i’ll stop

  
(252): sorry. didn’t realize

  
(919): That’s not

  
(252): it’s really okay babe

  
(252): don’t stress, yeah?

  
(252): i won’t do it anymore

  
(919): Rhett, I didn’t

  
(919): I mean

 


	22. Log 22

(919): Hey.

  
(919): You know that conversation  
you wanted to have when you were  
high the other night?

  
(919): I wanna have it right now.

(252): huh  
  
  
(252): so this is what it   
feels like to be blindsided

  
(919): Can we? Is that   
okay with you?

  
(252): of course

  
(252): you’re on a mission, huh?

  
(919): Yes. Be quiet and listen.

  
(252): whoa. yes, sir.

  
(252): ...hot

  
(919): We say ‘I love you,’   
and we mean it. But you   
joke around a lot about us   
being intimate together,   
so I think we need to clarify   
how we feel so we’re   
on the same page.

  
(919): Are you serious when   
you try to start stuff over   
text like that? Like what you   
did this afternoon?

  
(252): holy shit babe

  
(252): uhh

  
(252): yes?

  
(919): I need a definitive answer.

  
(252): are

  
(252): are you into it when i do?

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(252): consent is important!

  
(252): it’s why i stopped

  
(919): Do you really think   
I would get so flustered and   
tongue-tied if I hated it?

  
(252): umm, yes.

  
(252): but i’m guessing   
by context...

  
(252): okay

  
(252): yes, link

  
(252): i know i’m going to sound   
entitled, or desperate, but

  
(252): shoot.

  
(252): you’ve had my voicemail   
for a while now

  
(252): i haven’t

  
(252): i haven’t had anything.

  
(252): there’s no internet access

  
(252): i’m not even sure that   
would cut it, even if i had it

  
(252): i’ve been

  
(252): fuck, i’ve been reading   
our texts to get off

  
(252): how sad is that?

  
(252): that’s not even a THING

  
(919): So you’re honestly sexually  
attracted to me? At least   
personality-wise?

  
(252): i

  
(252): i thought THAT at   
least was clear from the   
joking?

  
(252): i mean, i know   
they’re jokes, but

  
(919): You cannot POSSIBLY  
blame me for having doubts.   
You insisted you were straight.

  
(252): when i said that…

  
(252): i don’t know

  
(252): it was kind of a tense   
and awkward moment

  
(252): and i was worried   
about how you’d react if i   
said ‘well i thought i was,   
but according to this boner   
you always seem to give   
me from just talking, maybe   
not?’

  
(919): Oh gosh, Rhett.

  
(252): so there’s that

  
(252): fuck, dude.

  
(252): the thought of you   
with me drives me crazy.

  
(252): i don’t even know what   
specifically i want to happen, it’s  
just... you

  
(252): you’re something else entirely.

  
(252): and it’s easy for me   
to get carried away joking.   
like it’s my outlet

  
(252): but it’s not worth   
making you uncomfortable

  
(919): I understand. Thank you   
for being vulnerable.

  
(252): this atmosphere is really weird

  
(252): why so formal?

  
(919): It’s helping, hush.

  
(919): I want to reciprocate.

  
(252): reciprocate what?

  
(919): The suggestive texts.

  
(252): oh. uhh, wow.

  
(252): are you sure?

  
(252): there’s really no pressure

  
(252): i mean i know it probably   
feels like there is

  
(252): because i was so   
pathetic just now

  
(252): but

  
(919): I’ve been sure for a while.

  
(919): But first

  
(919): I need reassurance.

  
(252): what do you mean?

  
(919): This isn’t all you’re interested   
in with me, right?

  
(252): link, no. of course not.

  
(252): i love you.

  
(252): more than a person should  
love someone whose face they’ve   
never seen

  
(252): it scares me.

  
(252): and i don’t even really know  
what i’m doing when i send you stuff  
like that

  
(252): it just… it feels right

  
(252): i want you

  
(919): Say it again.

  
(252): i want you.

  
(252): i want that kind of   
relationship with you.

  
(252): you mentioned how it   
could be a platonic love, once?

  
(252): that’s not how i want it.   
that’s not how i want you.

  
(252): i want you to be mine.

  
(252): mind and body.

  
(252): you’ve got me wrapped   
around your little finger.

  
(252): i don’t even HAVE a little   
finger anymore

  
(252): that’s how much power you   
have over me, link

  
(919): Rhett...

  
(919): Be with me?

  
(252): yes

  
(252): please, god

  
(252): anywhere. everywhere

  
(919): Good.

  
(919): Okay

  
(919): Okay.

  
(919): I really want this.

  
(919): Remember that when   
I text you again.

  
(252): wait, what?

  
(252): link oh gosh don’t leave

  
(252): ‘when I text you again’

  
(252): how long will that be??

  
(252): i’m

  
(252): i don’t know if i can

  
(252): how long do i have to wait?

  
(252): link?

  
(252): ...jesus

 


	23. Log 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating and tags have been edited. Thank you for reading! ❤️

(919): Hey, Rhett

  
(252): hey, man

  
(252): you were gone a while,  
i was starting to get worried

  
(252): everything okay?

  
(919): Of course

  
(919): Hahaha

  
(919): Guess what I got into

  
(252): uhh

  
(919): Or more

  
(919): What got into me

  
(252): um

  
(252): it’s not

  
(252): you didn’t find…?

  
(919): I’ll give you a hint

  
(919): Autocorrect is saving  
my ass right now

  
(252): that

  
(252): i don’t think that  
helps me as much as  
you want it to

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): I’m buzzed

  
(919): LOL

  
(252): OH

  
(252): that’s what ‘got into you’

  
(252): okay, that makes sense

  
(252): wait, where are you, babe?

  
(252): are you safe?

  
(919): Very

  
(919): Mmm locked myself in  
the back room of a bar

  
(919): It’s nice. You’d like it.  
Rustic and small. If you  
drink, I bet you’d have been  
a regular here once upon  
a time

  
(919): Stumbled across the  
place earlier today 

  
(252): you’re SURE you’re safe?

  
(919): I promise I am.

  
(919): I didn’t want any  
nasty surprises, so sober  
Link helped out a lot

  
(919): Thanks, me

  
(919): You’re welcome, me

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): drunk? really? hmm

  
(252): you feelin’ good then?

  
(919): Mmhm.

  
(919): Warm and fuzzy

  
(252): that sounds nice.

  
(252): you sure you don’t wanna  
go to sleep? haha

  
(919): I would but

  
(919): Might be difficult when  
I’m stroking my cock, thinking  
about your chest pressed  
up against mine.

  
(252): holy shit

  
(252): Link, pick up the phone.

  
(919): No hahaha

  
(252): oh my god

  
(252): are you seriously

  
(252): are you really  
touching yourself?

  
(919): I am

  
(919): Fuck, I am, Rhett.

  
(919): It feels good.

  
(252): shit, babe

  
(252): you’re sure you wanna  
do this right now?

  
(919): Have a change of heart?

  
(252): no! god no

  
(252): it’s just

  
(252): you’re drunk

  
(252): i don’t wanna be that guy

  
(919): Do me a favor, McLaughlin

  
(919): Go back up and read the  
sober text that says not to worry  
about that

  
(252): holy crap THAT’S  
what that meant?!

  
(252): oh my god

  
(919): I can stop if you want?

  
(919): Won’t force you if  
it don’t feel right

  
(252): no! don’t stop

  
(252): don’t you dare stop.

  
(252): you want me up  
against you?

  
(919): Hahaha

  
(919): Yeah

  
(919): I want you in  
here with me

  
(919): I’m sitting in the  
floor right now

  
(919): Pants off

  
(919): Back to the wall

  
(919): Listened to your  
voicemail once already

  
(919): Read that text  
about kissin me

  
(919): Fuck, why did  
I interrupt that

  
(919): You’re so hot when  
you get going, Rhett.

  
(919): Like a wildfire

  
(919): I wanna get burnt

  
(919): You embarrassed  
for once? Haha

  
(252): sorry

  
(252): just had to get  
comfortable, babe

  
(919): Welcome back, love

  
(252): fuck

  
(252): i can imagine you  
so good right now, with that  
pretty little picture you painted  
for me

  
(252): fuck, i’m hard

  
(252): shit

  
(252): i’m already so hard for  
you, link.

  
(252): you have no idea how  
long i’ve wanted this

 

(919): Oh, I think I do, though.  


(919): What are you doing  
to yourself?

  
(252): i’m

  
(252): got some spit on my  
cock, getting it nice and wet  
for you baby

  
(919): Yeah?

  
(919): Wish I could help  
you with that

  
(252): christ

  
(252): i bet you’ve got  
some nice lips, neal

  
(252): bet you’d like to  
put ‘em to good use

  
(919): Now that’s a bet  
you’d win haha

  
(919): I’d start at your neck

  
(252): my neck?

  
(919): Mmhm

  
(919): I’d work my way down

  
(919): Kissing, biting, just  
leavin a little trail

  
(252): leave marks on me, baby

  
(252): fuck

  
(252): mark me

  
(919): I want to touch  
your chest, Rhett

  
(919): Get your nipples  
nice and hard

  
(919): Mmm, use my teeth on  
those perky little buds

  
(252): i’d let you

  
(252): god, i’d let you  
do anything to me.

  
(252): make me feel small, link

  
(919): Whatever you want.

  
(252): i want

  
(252): i want your hips in my hands

  
(252): i can’t ever get that fuckin  
thought out of my head

  
(919): Then don’t try, love

  
(919): Let it live there.

  
(252): every time i think  
about you, i imagine what  
it would be like to have you  
in my lap

  
(252): to dig my fingernails  
into your skin

  
(252): your legs wrapped  
around my waist

  
(919): You want my ass pressed  
into your lap, daddy?

  
(919): I’d rock my hips on you.

  
(919): Your hands are probably  
big enough to stroke us both at  
the same time… fuck, Rhett

  
(252): oh gosh

  
(252): oh fuck you gotta ease up  
a little or i’m not gonna last long  
babe haha

  
(919): Hahahaaa

  
(919): We can’t have  
that, can we?

  
(919): I’ll make another  
bet with you

  
(919): I’ll bet you’ve fantasized  
about how warm and wet  
my mouth is.

  
(919): How it would feel  
for my lips to pop off of your  
dick repeatedly as you face  
fuck me. My tongue running  
over your head. Over your slit,  
lapping up your wetness.

  
(919): I’ll bet the thought’s  
made you cum before.  
More than once.

  
(252): win you win i lose

  
(252): you win, i don’t care, fuck

  
(252): yes, absolutely link

  
(252): you probably give  
amazing head

  
(919): You can be the judge of  
that when we meet.

  
(252): oh good god

  
(919): Gonna take you down  
as deep as I can, Rhett.

  
(919): Just promise me?

  
(252): anything.

  
(919): When I gag, don’t  
move your hand from the  
back of my head.

  
(252): fuck fuck fuuuck

  
(252): gracious, neal

  
(252): THIS is how you try  
and delay me?!?

  
(919): LOL

  
(919): You said it’s been a long  
time for you, right??

  
(919): Spoiler alert: I’m  
gonna last longer.

  
(919): It’s okay though, love

  
(919): There’s no correct  
time to finish

  
(252): you’ve lost your damn  
mind if you think i’m bout to  
squander this

  
(252): i am

  
(252): painfully hard, neal.  
and it's all for you. every  
inch of it.

  
(919): Mmm

  
(919): Would you let me  
suck your balls?

  
(919): Let me take them  
into my mouth, get them  
nice and wet? Run my  
tongue over them and pull  
the noises I’m dying to  
hear from your lips?

  
(252): don’t need permission

  
(252): but

  
(252): i wanna

  
(252): i wanna do stuff  
to you, too, link.

  
(252): gosh

  
(252): i’ve never sucked cock  
before, but i want yours, babe.

  
(252): i want you in my throat

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): Fuck me, oh my god

  
(919): Not even in my fantasies  
did I let myself imagine that

  
(252): what, you think you’re  
just gonna service me?

  
(252): you’d better drop  
that shit right now

  
(252): hell, i’d

  
(252): i’d let you take me

  
(919): ...

  
(919): You saying you wanna  
bottom, McLaughlin?

  
(252): fuck yes

  
(252): i wanna give you that

  
(919): What happened, hmm?

  
(919): What about big papa?

  
(919): Thought you wanted  
me in your lap

  
(252): anywhere. everywhere

  
(252): just fucking use me, link

  
(919): Shit

  
(919): You don’t have to  
tell me twice

  
(919): I’d get you nice  
and ready, make sure you’re  
wet enough. Relaxed from  
my kisses and wandering touch

  
(919): Just thinking about  
standing behind you…  
running a hand down  
your back

  
(919): Your ass just

  
(919): Perfectly presented  
for me. Fuck, Rhett

  
(919): I’d slip a finger in first.

  
(252): oh gosh

  
(252): would it hurt?

  
(919): Not for long. Not when I’m  
taking care of you, love.

  
(919): And if you aren’t sure  
it’ll feel good

  
(919): You can fuck me  
until I’m drooling and  
screaming your name.

  
(919): Would that be  
proof enough?

  
(252): oh my god

  
(252): go, baby

  
(252): go

  
(919): I’d fill you up, Rhett.

  
(919): You’d be so tight and  
warm and eager

  
(919): I’d lock my fingers  
in your hair

  
(919): Been daydreaming about  
doin that since I saw your  
photos, McLaughlin

  
(919): You wouldn’t be able t

  
(919): Able to move or  
think straight or talk

  
(919): There wouldn’t be  
anything but you and me.

  
(919): The sound of our bodies  
coming together each time  
I push into you

  
(919): I’d

  
(919): I’d reach around and  
stroke you, fast and firm

  
(919): Nowhere to go  
but into my hand.

  
(919): I’m close

  
(919): [image file 18-0273.jpg]

  
(252): holy shit, link!!

  
(252): look at you! you’re  
so unbelievably beautiful,  
oh my god

  
(252): is that really all  
for me, neal?

  
(252): never deserved a  
face so perfect, fuck

  
(252): c’mon, baby.

  
(252): you’re so good.

  
(252): you’re such a good  
boy for me, aren’t you?

  
(919): Fuckk

  
(252): just amazing. you  
leave me speechless.

  
(252): your eyes! fuck's sake

  
(252): you’re radiant, link.  
a goddamn angel in this hell.

  
(252): no one else even  
comes close.

  
(919): Oh gosh

  
(252): no fuckin’ contest.

  
(252): I love you, Link Neal.

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): Oh

  
(919): Oh.

  
(919): Oh, my god.

  
(919): Hahahahaha

  
(252): …

  
(252): if you’re laughing

  
(252): because my texts  
weren’t sexy

  
(252): i request god smite  
me right now

  
(919): NO No no no

  
(919): I just

  
(919): I had no idea I had  
a praise kink, Rhett.  
Goodness gracious

  
(919): I think I blacked  
out for a second

  
(252): THANK GOD

 


	24. Log 24

(252): link

  
(252): i know you’re still asleep

  
(252): drunk-asleep, so hopefully  
this won’t wake you up

  
(252): but when you do wake up

  
(252): take it easy. drink   
lots of water

  
(252): i hope your hangover   
isn’t too bad

  
(252): it’s overcast out today,   
so it shouldn’t hurt your eyes   
too much

  
(252): triple check that you don’t  
leave anything behind, ok?

  
(252): i’ll talk to you soon

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(252): hmm.

  
(252): it’s well past time for  
you to be up and on the move

  
(252): i’m not totally sure what  
happened, but i can make a few  
educated guesses that don’t  
immediately send me into panic

  
(252): so, panic postponed

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): Hey! Sorry.

  
(252): forget to plug in your phone?

  
(919): I forgot to plug in my phone  
and it died.

  
(919): Yeah! Lol.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): how’s your head?

  
(919): I don’t feel great, but  
it’s definitely not the worst  
I’ve ever had.

  
(252): wait

  
(252): are you talking about   
me or the hangover?

  
(919): LOL, hush.

  
(919): The headache.

  
(919): You were

  
(919): You were unbelievable,   
Rhett.

  
(252): look who’s talking.

  
(252): it was like a porn star stole  
your phone, holy crap

  
(919): C’mon. Don’t embarrass me.

  
(252): please, PLEASE don’t be   
embarrassed about last night.

  
(252): please.

  
(919): I mean

  
(919): I am, but in a   
good way.

  
(252): you don’t uh

  
(252): don’t regret it, do you?

  
(919): Only the being   
drunk part. Lol.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(919): But it let me break   
through the barrier.

  
(919): Next time the goal is   
no liquor required.

  
(252): so that wasn’t a   
once and done thing?

  
(919): I thought we kinda   
talked about that beforehand?   
I wanted to make sure we were.   
Y’know.

  
(919): Official.

  
(252): oh, right

  
(252): i almost forgot due to   
the ridiculously explicit sexting   
and whatnot

  
(252): so wait, does that mean

  
(252): i have a boyfriend?

  
(919): If you wanna call   
me that, sure.

  
(252): well this is a first for   
me, so let me have this

  
(252): ahem

  
(919): Oh lord.

  
(252): you are now rhett   
mclaughlin’s boyfriend.

  
(919): And THERE's  
the regrhett.

  
(252): and i hope you like   
knowing that the picture you   
sent last night is my new   
phone background.

  
(919): Rhett, NO

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(919): Oh gosh. I shouldn’t  
have caved and taken   
that damn photo.

  
(919): I blame the rum.

  
(252): thank you, oh   
charitable booze gods

  
(252): for the most beautiful  
picture i’ve seen in my entire life

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): I’m really glad you like it

  
(919): but

  
(252): it’s not my wallpaper,   
babe. i’m just kiddin’.

  
(252): you think i wanna   
pop a boner every time i   
check the clock?

  
(919): LOL

  
(252): link?

  
(252): thank you for last night

  
(252): you didn’t have to do that

  
(252): but i can’t lie… i’m really,  
really happy that you did.

  
(919): I had fun too, ya dork.

  
(919): How’s that for material?

  
(252): i’m fuckin’ set.

  
(919): Happy to hear it.

  
(252): ...we will do it again   
though right?

  
(919): Lol. Yes, love.

  
(252): phew

 

 

* * *

 

 

(919): Rhett McLaughlin.

  
(252): oh gosh

  
(252): am i in trouble?

  
(919): What’s your middle name?

  
(252): oh

  
(252): wow. we don’t know that  
about one another, do we?

  
(252): james

  
(919): Huh!

  
(919): That seems too formal  
for a goofball like you. Lol.

  
(252): i knew you’d say that haha

  
(252): what about yours?

  
(919): Link.

  
(252): WHAT

  
(252): wait wait wait

  
(252): i don’t even know your  
FIRST name?!

  
(252): oh my god. i don’t know  
my boyfriend’s first name

  
(919): LOL, calm down.

  
(252): how did this happen

  
(919): I prefer to go by Link,  
don’t beat yourself up about it.

  
(919): My full name is   
Charles Lincoln Neal III.

  
(252): oh sweet jesus

  
(252): and you think I’M the one  
with the formal name?!?

  
(919): I know, man. It’s a lot.

  
(252): do you want me to use  
your entire name when we’re  
in bed together?

  
(252): would that get you hot,  
charles lincoln neal the third

  
(252): yeah, you like that,   
charles lincoln neal the third?

  
(252): i bet you do,  
charles lincoln neal the third

  
(919): LMAO Rhett stop omg

  
(252): hahahahaha

  
(919): You’re right, feels like I’m  
in trouble when you use   
the whole thing.

  
(252): no offense to your   
downright kingly name, but

  
(252): link suits you much better

  
(919): I know it.

  
(919): Why you think I chose   
that for my nickname?

  
(919): Instead of Charlie   
or whatever

  
(252): aww, wait now

  
(252): charlie’s kinda cute

  
(919): No, it’s not.

  
(252): like something i’d   
name a pet turtle

  
(919): Yep. Alright.

  
(919): If you ever start calling  
me Charlie, I get to call you   
Jimmy.

  
(252): hahaha deal

  
(252): hey, uh

  
(252): you didn’t keep any  
part of your ex’s name, did  
you?

  
(919): Hell no.

  
(252): good boy. that's   
what i like to hear

  
  


 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): you ready for   
another joke?

  
(919): Always!

  
(919): Am I allowed to try  
and guess the punchline?

  
(252): of course

  
(252): that’s part of the fun

  
(919): My, how you’ve   
grown, Rhett.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): okay

  
(252): where did napoleon   
keep his armies?

  
(919): Hmm.

  
(919): I feel like I   
should know this!

  
(919): Shoot, I can’t even   
think of a decent guess,   
either.

  
(919): Where?

  
(252): in his sleevies

  
(252): :D

  
(919): LOL

  
(919): So stupid, omg.   
I love it.

  
(919): The excited emote   
really sold it

  
(252): hahaha

 


	25. Log 25

(919): Location?

  
(252): stopped in clinton  
right now

  
(252): haven’t been in a   
city this big in a while, it’s   
kinda jarring

  
(919): Clinton ain’t even   
big, either.

  
(919): I’m not sure you’re   
gonna like living in a place   
like Fayetteville. Lol.

  
(252): so long as you’re there,  
i’ll love it.

  
(919): Get a room.

  
(252): with you? that’s the plan,  
blue. hahaha

  
(252): where are you?

  
(919): Linden. Wanted to get  
off of the interstate for a while.

  
(252): shoot, link

  
(252): we’re gettin’ pretty close   
to seein’ each other

  
(919): I know. Been thinking  
about it a lot.

  
(252): you nervous?

  
(919): You aren’t?

  
(252): yeah. i am.

  
(252): i keep trying to  
imagine what i’ll do when  
i can actually be next to  
you for the first time

  
(252): i’m scared it might  
be awkward

  
(919): Rhett, let me   
reassure you

  
(919): It’s going to be   
SO awkward.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): what should we do?

  
(252): i mean, nothing seems  
quite right for the occasion

  
(252): does that make sense?

  
(919): No, yeah. I know  
exactly what you mean.

  
(919): Should we hug?

  
(919): Hugs seem safe.

  
(252): they do

  
(252): they also aren’t an  
accurate representation of  
how i feel about you

  
(252): or what i really want  
to do

  
(919): Oh yeah?

  
(919): And that would be...?

  
(252): i picture seeing you for  
the first time from afar

  
(252): i’m definitely going to  
break into a run once i see   
you so try not to panic and   
run away hahahaha

  
(919): Oh, gosh. LOL

  
(919): If adrenaline hits, no   
promises. You’d prefer I run   
over a punch in the   
face, right?

  
(252): hmmmm

  
(252): how do you know   
if you’re into pain?

  
(252): like

  
(252): as a fetish

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(919): Do you have an   
‘off’ button? Good lord.

  
(252): no yeah you’re right

  
(252): but once i’m there   
beside you

  
(252): and i’m looking down  
into those crystal blue eyes

  
(252): i’ll take your chin   
in my hand

  
(252): make you look up at me

  
(252): and point out just   
HOW much taller i am than   
you, and you’ll fork over all   
of your money, nerd

  
(919): Oh for heaven’s sake

  
(919): LOL

  
(919): You had me goin’  
there for a minute, too

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): listen, i’ve considered   
kissing you. of course i have

  
(919): This is the most hurtful   
‘but’ I’m ever going to   
hear, isn’t it

  
(252): but i haven’t been   
brushing my teeth as regularly   
as i should.

  
(252): you don’t want this mouth  
as-is for our first kiss, i promise

  
(919): Oh. Uhh.

  
(252): see? i know you.

  
(252): i know you love me,   
and i know you want it, but   
i also know you care about   
hygiene

  
(919): Dang it.

  
(919): Why you gotta call   
me out like that?

  
(919): You’re

  
(919): Probably right though

  
(919): I forgot you’ve been  
living off of canned meat   
and beans...

  
(252): yep

  
(252): i’ll do my best to brush  
my teeth more as we close in

  
(919): So romantic.

  
(252): well, i want the first  
time i see you to be the best  
memory it possibly can

  
(919): Rhett, it will be.   
It’ll be us.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): sometimes i think   
you’re cheesier than i am

  
(919): I’m not sure that’s   
physically possible, McLaughlin.   
You’re a mozzarella stick.

  
(252): you sayin’ i’m on   
your menu?

  
(919): You can take it like   
that if you want.

  
(252): hahaaa

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): GUESS WHAT I FOUND

  
(919): A McRib.

  
(252): NEXT BEST THING

  
(919): You’re so excited, omg

  
(919): A masseuse??

  
(252): [image file 0067.jpg]

  
(919): A dog!

  
(252): YES

  
(252): i found her a few  
minutes ago and i’m pretty   
sure i’m in love

  
(919): Wow. If that’s what it  
was like with me, I’m not sure  
I feel special anymore. Lol.

  
(919): No collar?

  
(252): nah

  
(252): she was eating out   
of a garbage can

  
(252): probably has worms or  
whatever so i gotta find her  
some medicine somehow

  
(919): Wait

  
(919): You’re going to keep her??

  
(919): Rhett, I don’t know if  
that’s a good idea.

  
(252): what?!

  
(252): LOOK at her, she’s   
so sweet

  
(252): a german shepherd   
lab mix, maybe

  
(252): why don’t you think   
it’s good idea?

  
(919): What are you going   
to feed her?

  
(252): garbage?

  
(919): If she has worms, that’s  
probably how she got them in  
the first place.

  
(252): well she’s been  
surviving, somehow

  
(252): she’ll eat whatever  
she finds

  
(919): What if she barks?

  
(252): she didn’t bark at me

  
(252): i think she knows i’m   
not one of them

  
(252): but i’m sorta convinced  
that if she does bark, she’ll   
bite, too

  
(252): can you imagine owning  
an attack dog together? oh  
my god yessssss

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): I think you’re putting   
a lot of pressure not only on   
that dog, but on yourself?

  
(919): Are you SURE you can  
take care of a dog without   
dividing your attention and   
risking your own  
well-being…?

  
(919): I can’t stop you, but   
I really, REALLY want you   
to think about it.

  
(252): i’ve got this, link

  
(252): she’ll be a great   
companion for us

  
(252): like our child

  
(919): See? That’s what I  
was talking about.   
Gracious.

  
(919): Well then

  
(919): What are you   
gonna name her?

  
(252): not sure yet

  
(252): any suggestions?

  
(919): Hmm.

  
(919): Not really?

  
(252): …oh my gosh

  
(252): charlie.

  
(919): Nooo.

  
(919): You don’t wanna name the  
dog after me, Rhett. C’mon.

  
(252): please? it’s such a   
good name for a pet

  
(919): I don’t know whether   
I’m flattered or disturbed.

  
(919): ...but I am blushing.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(919): Fine. Charlie.

  
(252): YES

  
(252): thanks babe

  
(252): i’m gonna see if  
i can find a pet store  
and grab her some worm   
and tick medicine

  
(252): maybe one of those  
tag-engraving machines so  
we can make this official

  
(919): Don’t get too distracted.

  
(919): If you do, I’LL   
be the one waiting for   
YOU in Fayetteville. Lol.

  
(252): i’ll pull double time,   
baby

  
(252): oh my gosh she’s   
following me without any   
coaxing

  
(252): i might cry

  
(919): Enjoy the   
companionship, love.

 


	26. Log 26

(919): Did you hear about the two  
thieves that stole a calendar?

  
(919): They each got 6 months.

  
(919): …

  
(919): Ba-dum-tch.

  
(919): Rhett?

  
(919): It’s the middle of the day,  
are you alright??

  
(252): yes! sorry

  
(252): me and charlie are playin’

  
(252): she’s a keen one

  
(252): it started as fetch but now  
we’re playing hide and seek  
with some jerky and she’s SO   
good at it, man

  
(252): gotta be that sniffer

  
(919): That sounds fun! Hope  
you’re enjoying yourselves.

  
(919): Did you see my joke?

  
(252): i did

  
(252): very funny

  
(919): Wow.

  
(919): It’s not nearly as   
satisfying if you just say it   
instead of your usual ‘haha.’

  
(252): oh

  
(252): haha

  
(919): Jesus, don’t pity laugh!  
That’s even worse.

  
(252): HAHA sorry

  
(252): sorry, it was funny

  
(919): Mmhm. It’s okay, lol.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(919): Gonna need your   
locale, McLaughlin.

  
(252): we just got to roseboro

  
(252): what about you, babe?

  
(919): ...I don’t think I’ll ever get  
used to that, lol.

  
(919): Not near any towns   
right now. Just cutting south   
from Linden. Sticking to   
backroads.

  
(919): It’s nice right now,   
but I get the feeling this   
destitution is gonna freak   
me out come nightfall.

  
(252): i know what you mean

  
(252): you can handle it, though

  
(252): your shotgun got fresh  
shells in it?

  
(919): What kind of amateur  
do you take me for?

  
(252): a forgetful one

  
(919): It’s loaded, Rhett.

  
(919): How’s Charlie?

  
(252): she’s great!

  
(252): i got her the cutest   
orange collar yesterday

  
(252): too smart for her   
own good

  
(252): keeps running off to   
investigate smells. it’s fun to   
follow her

  
(919): That sounds cool! You   
have your own personal   
tracking hound.

  
(919): Has she found anything   
of significance yet?

  
(252): depends, do you consider  
a cow carcass picked clean by  
coyotes to be ‘of significance?’

  
(919): Oh, man. Not really.

  
(919): Did you take a pic of it?

  
(252): no?

  
(252): why would you want  
a picture of it? that doesn’t   
sound like you

  
(919): Morbid curiosity. Lol.

  
(919): Plus, I’m bored. You have a  
dog to keep you company now.

  
(919): I’m still alone.

  
(252): i’m here! charlie can’t  
talk to me like you do

  
(919): If she can, I might   
be out of a job.

  
(252): hahaha hush! never

  
(919): Did you own a dog  
before Charlie?

  
(252): no. never really  
wanted any pets

  
(252): took care of cassie’s  
dog a lot, but ehh not the same

  
(252): what about you?

  
(919): My parents owned a dog  
when I was born, but I don’t   
remember it. Too young.

  
(252): well, i hope you like  
being charlie’s dad as much  
as i do

  
(252): we cuddled together  
last night. she’s so warm

  
(919): I’ll spoon her,   
you spoon me.

  
(252): wh

  
(252): why does that make me  
wanna cry, oh gosh

  
(252): what a mental image

  
(252): i can’t fuckin’ wait to  
see you, link.

  
(252): wanna get all eight of  
my fingers on your hips

  
(919): LOL. I’m ready for ‘em.

  
(252): mm

  
(252): what do you wanna  
do to me, neal?

  
(919): Hmm

  
(919): I, uh

  
(919): I’d kiss you?

  
(252): yeah?

  
(252): what kinda kiss   
you want?

  
(919): Umm

  
(919): No tongue but like

  
(919): Lip sucking?

  
(252): lip sucking.

  
(919): Yes?

  
(919): Then maybe I’d grab  
your ass?

  
(252): why are you ending  
everything with question marks??

  
(252): how are you the   
same person i sexted with,   
oh my god

  
(919): The alcohol really   
helped, okay?! Asshole.

  
(919): I told you I’m not really  
good at this stuff. It’s too much

  
(919): I’m no good

  
(252): whoa whoa whoa,   
it’s okay, baby

  
(252): i was just teasin’

  
(252): i don’t care how good  
you are at it. honest

  
(252): it’s kinda endearing  
how flustered you get

  
(919): Still makes me feel bad.   
Especially since it seems   
to come to you so easily.

  
(919): Why do I have to be   
drunk to pull it off?

  
(252): everyone’s different

  
(252): i just say whatever   
feels natural and it seems   
to work

  
(919): See? It does   
come naturally.

  
(919): ...can you give me   
any pointers?

  
(252): i just like how you  
react to certain things, so   
i think of how to get that   
reaction from you

  
(919): Okay

  
(919): Okay, that makes sense.

  
(252): so

  
(252): link neal

  
(252): what reaction would you  
enjoy from me?

  
(919): I

  
(919): I like it when   
you’re empowered

  
(919): Or powerless, too,   
I guess

  
(919): Either one. Both

  
(252): see? i love both   
those ideas when you’re   
the one doin’ it to me

  
(252): now

  
(252): how would you get   
me like that?

  
(919): ...I’d kiss your neck.

  
(919): One hand slipping up   
your shirt to graze your   
bare hip, the other in your   
hair. My tongue and teeth   
lapping and nipping at   
your collarbone until   
you’re shaking...

  
(252): THERE it is

  
(252): hot damn.

  
(919): Hahaha

  
(252): see? you can   
do it, babe.

  
(252): you’re ridiculously   
sexy when you let go.

  
(919): No

  
(919): Stop

  
(919): Really?

  
(252): really.

  
(252): should i, uh

  
(252): find a place to   
lie low for a minute?

  
(919): Nah. Not right now.

  
(252): crap

  
(252): but i’m

  
(252): whyyy

  
(919): LOL. Baby steps, Rhett.  
I’ll keep practicing. Thinking   
about you on the road. Okay?

  
(919): Soon, though.

  
(252): ugh fine

  
(252): love you.

  
(919): Love you, too.

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): what’s the best gift  
you ever got from someone?

  
(919): Why are you still awake?

  
(919): Your back keepin’   
you up again?

  
(252): nah, charlie’s just being  
needy. she’s a cuddle monster

  
(252): and over-the-counter   
meds are actually helping   
my back more than i thought   
they would

  
(919): That’s great!

  
(919): Best gift, huh? I dunno.

  
(252): one year when i   
was a kid, my parents   
gave me a bb gun

  
(252): i shot a dove out   
of my bedroom window.   
hahaha

  
(919): That sounds like you.   
Poor dove. Why do I get the   
feeling it was just a convenient   
target?

  
(252): i dunno, but you’re right  
haha

  
(919): My ex husband gave me  
hiking gear once for my birthday.

  
(919): It was awesome. We   
went on a weekend camping   
trip together.

  
(252): i’m glad you got to do  
that, i guess? ugh

  
(252): i’m sorry but

  
(252): i can’t not hate your ex

  
(919): It’s a good memory.

  
(919): It’s like you told me   
about Cassie. Even bad and   
toxic relationships have  
good moments. Right?

  
(252): yeah

  
(252): i still hate him though

  
(919): That’s fine. I can   
live with that.

  
(252): can’t wait til i’m the  
last guy who had his  
hands on you.

  
(252): in a way you deserve  
and want to be touched.

  
(252): shit

  
(919): You always get so fixated  
and upset when I talk about him.   
We were married, Rhett.

  
(919): He wasn’t good to   
me in the long run, and   
now he’s gone. And   
I have you.

  
(919): Will we ever be able   
to have a discussion that   
even briefly mentions him   
without you getting testy  
and overprotective of a time   
in my life when you weren’t   
even there? Cause he was   
a big part of my world before   
this. I’m GOING to mention   
him from time to time.

  
(252): well how would you   
feel, if you heard someone   
had treated me like that?

  
(252): you tellin’ me it wouldn’t  
piss you off? wouldn’t make your   
blood boil?

  
(919): No, but it’s not a good  
feeling on my end.

  
(919): Almost like you’re   
judging me for the   
mistake I made.

  
(252): what?? no, blue

  
(252): i didn’t realize that’s   
how it felt to you.

  
(252): that couldn’t be  
further from the truth

  
(252): none of it’s about your  
choices, link

  
(252): love is complicated

  
(252): no, baby. i just   
can’t stand the thought   
of someone raising a   
fist to hurt you

  
(252): if i’d been there,   
feeling how i do now?   
i would’ve killed him.

  
(919): And you would’ve   
gone to prison.

  
(919): For life.

  
(252): worth every second.

  
(252): they allow conjugal  
visits, right?

  
(919): For heaven’s sake.

  
(252): so you can talk about  
your abusive ex, but i get to  
blindly hate him if you do.

  
(252): is that fair?

  
(252): i’m grateful that you get  
to be with someone who won’t  
treat you like that, and i’m blessed   
that that someone gets to be me.

  
(919): Geeze, Rhett.

  
(919): How can I stay mad when  
you say crap like that?

  
(252): don’t be mad.

  
(252): i’m just being honest

  
(252): i don’t know what i’d  
do without you

  
(252): i wish i could shrink  
you down and keep you in  
my pocket just to be SURE  
you’re always safe

  
(919): LOL I’m pretty sure   
you’d end up accidentally   
crushing me. Sasquatch.

  
(919): You and Charlie, though?   
Y’all sound like a power couple.  
You’d be fine without me, lol.

  
(252): i’m not lookin’ to be  
a single dad over here, neal

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): i can’t wait for you to  
meet her. she’s so warm

  
(919): It HAS been getting colder  
at night. I hope whatever  
home we pick has a fireplace.

  
(252): it better

  
(252): that’s on my ‘must have’

  
(252): her nose tickles hahaha

  
(919): The three of us, curled  
up in front of a fireplace together?

  
(919): Man.

  
(919): I’ll let myself fantasize  
about it once I see you safe  
in person. Lol.

  
(252): don’t take this away from  
me. it’s a guaranteed future

  
(919): So long as we all stay  
on our toes.

  
(919): Sleep tight, ya cuddle bugs.

  
(252): night, babe. 

 


	27. Log 27

(919): When’s your birthday?

  
(252): good morning

  
(252): october 11. why?

  
(919): Wait

  
(919): We were talking and  
your birthday passed by?!

  
(919): And you didn’t  
mention it?!

  
(919): You literally didn’t  
say ANYTHING

  
(252): yeah? birthdays don’t  
mean nothin no more

  
(252): ain’t as important as  
they were before all this

  
(252): just a way to measure  
your age

  
(919): That is

  
(919): Depressingly pragmatic.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(919): I really wish you would’ve  
told me. I could’ve at least  
wished you a happy birthday.

  
(252): sorry, nugget.  
didn’t know it’d mean  
that much to you.

  
(919): Happy belated, I guess?

  
(252): thanks man

  
(252): why’d you ask?

  
(252): hope you didn’t find  
a good present, cause it’ll  
have to wait another 12  
months haha

  
(919): No, sorry. It’s just

  
(919): Had the calendar  
on my mind.

  
(919): Halloween’s coming.  
Makes me sad that we aren’t  
gonna see any decorations  
or costumes for the first time  
in our lives.

  
(252): ahh i see

  
(252): yeah, that is kinda sad.

  
(252): look at it like  
this, though

  
(252): in a way, this is the  
best halloween the world  
has ever seen.

  
(252): we have REAL zombies

  
(252): everywhere you go is  
a haunted house

  
(252): there’s just… the chance  
of actually dying. it’s a super  
hardcore haunted house

  
(252): you don’t like scary  
stuff anyway, babe

  
(252): why you so bummed  
out about it?

  
(919): Well, Halloween isn’t  
usually SCARY scary. I like  
seeing jack-o-lanterns and  
cobwebs in people’s yards.

  
(919): Not to mention  
Trick-or-Treaters.

  
(252): mmm

  
(252): so you like the  
commercialized, diluted  
version of the holiday, then

  
(919): Oh for fuck’s sake

  
(919): Don’t make this  
a ‘purist’ thing.

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): time to reconnect with  
the pagan roots of the season

  
(919): Halloween is pagan?

  
(252): i dunno. shot in  
the dark.

  
(252): it seems the type  
of holiday to be, right?

  
(919): Hmm.

  
(252): what’s your favorite  
costume you ever wore?

  
(919): As a kid?

  
(252): any age

  
(252): better yet, university?

  
(252): ever go to any  
halloween parties in college?

  
(919): Sure, man.

  
(919): Uhh I went as Luke  
Skywalker once. That was  
cool. Got a lot of compliments.

  
(252): nice!

  
(919): Heh. What about you?

  
(252): don’t laugh

  
(919): If you preface it with  
that, I’m GOING to laugh.

  
(252): i went as macgyver  
once hahaha

  
(252): kept whipping out  
my swiss army knife and  
annoying people by  
trying to solve imaginary  
problems hahaha

  
(919): LOL

  
(919): You probably had the  
perfect hair for that!!

  
(252): you bet your ass i did

  
(252): not many folks knew  
who i was though

  
(919): Whaaat. C’mon, people.  
Richard Dean Anderson!

  
(252): right?!?

  
(252): oh man

  
(252): i wish you could’ve  
been there with me

  
(252): would’ve been nice  
for someone to get it

  
(919): I would’ve stayed with  
you all night. A jedi and an  
everyday genius.

  
(252): oh shoot

  
(252): now i DO wish  
commercial halloween  
was still around

  
(252): we’d have the best  
nonsensical couples costumes

  
(252): like… two luigis

  
(919): LOL

  
(919): I love that

  
(252): i love you :)

  
(919): Love you too, dork.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): Do you think that if we  
weren’t romantically involved,  
we could ever go back to  
being friends?

  
(252): whoa what

  
(252): why do you ask??

  
(252): did i say something  
wrong

  
(252): if it’s about the  
conversation we had  
about your ex, i’m  
really sorry

  
(252): i know i can be  
really intense

  
(252): it’s because i  
care too much

  
(252): ...maybe more than  
i should

  
(252): shit if you really  
don’t like me talking like  
that about your ex, i won’t  
do it again, okay? i can keep  
it to myself

  
(252): i’m sorry

  
(919): Rhett, calm down! It  
was just a thought.

  
(919): I guess I could’ve  
prefaced it a little better.  
And no, don’t censor  
yourself for me.

  
(252): oh gosh

  
(252): my heart is racing

  
(919): No. No no no,  
Rhett, we’re alright.

  
(252): i just

  
(252): i guess so?? i  
don’t want that to be  
how this unfolds though

  
(252): how could i go back  
to pretending i don’t want  
more from you? that i don’t  
want to be with you like this

  
(252): that would be  
so difficult

  
(919): I don’t want that either.  
I was just thinking about  
relationships and how  
uncertain they can be.

  
(919): I mean… we’re  
planning on living  
together, Rhett.

  
(919): When we haven’t even  
met in person.

  
(252): mmm

  
(252): well, nothing’s set  
in stone. you’re right.

  
(252): things can change really  
fast, for better or for worse

  
(919): I know. It’s a  
scary thought.

  
(919): Like… what if we get  
to Fayetteville and we don’t  
have any real chemistry?

  
(919): What if

  
(919): What if we’re better  
together through text

  
(252): you really think we’d  
be so different from our texts  
that we wouldn’t click  
face-to-face?

  
(919): Honestly, no. But I’m  
always thinking ‘what if?’

  
(919): Y’know?

  
(252): yeah

  
(252): hmm

  
(252): if it meant keeping  
you in my life in some way,  
i’d do my damnedest to be  
nothing more than a friend

  
(252): your BEST friend.

  
(252): i’d rather have you  
in an unfulfilling way than  
not at all.

  
(919): Okay, yeah. Me too.

  
(252): ...but we’re okay,  
right?

  
(252): this really caught  
me off guard

  
(252): probably because i  
haven’t been this happy  
since i can remember

  
(252): and i was attacked by a  
hunter this morning

  
(919): What?! Are you okay?!

  
(252): yeah. charlie grabbed  
its leg and held it still for me

  
(919): Thank goodness.  
TELL ME about that stuff!!

  
(919): But yeah, we’re fine.  
Please don’t linger on  
or obsess over it. It was  
honestly just something  
I thought we should  
talk about.

  
(252): you’re happy with me?

  
(919): Very.

  
(919): You make me feel  
complete, Rhett. Like I  
wasn’t a whole person  
before I met you.

  
(252): gosh

  
(252): that’s the kind of  
aftercare i need, hahaha

  
(919): Oh yeah? Lol

  
(919): I love you so much  
and can’t wait to hold you,  
Rhett. I’m ready to feel  
your heartbeat.

  
(252): link…

  
(252): not to freak you  
out or anything

  
(252): cause i know i’m gonna  
sound like an over-eager  
highschooler who just got laid

  
(252): and all of this might  
feel new to you??

  
(252): even though i’m  
inclined to admit that it’s like  
we’ve been together forever  
at this point

  
(252): cause that's how  
it feels

  
(252): to me, at least

  
(919): You’re babbling.

  
(252): but

  
(252): shit  
  
  
(252): okay

  
(252): i’d

  
(252): i’d put a ring on you,  
if you let me. y’know?

  
(252): life is shorter now  
than it’s ever been.

  
(252): people back in the  
day would get married after like

  
(252): trading two cows  
and a letter

  
(252): you think we wouldn’t  
make decent husbands  
compared to those  
choleric chumps?

  
(252): we’ve been through  
so much already

  
(252): forget the time or  
distance between

  
(252): we’ve seen each  
other’s faces

  
(252): you’re the most gorgeous  
person i’ve ever met. inside and  
out.

  
(252): and i can’t fathom that  
the sex is going to be bad, haha

  
(252): i know you texted me to  
ask ‘what if we go backwards’

  
(252): and now that you’ve gone  
quiet i regret countering with  
‘but what if we went forwards’

  
(252): shoot

  
(252): uhh

  
(252): i didn’t think it through

  
(252): i mean it wasn’t a real  
proposal or nothin’ obviously

  
(252): all hypotheticals

  
(252): i was just sayin’

  
(252): just… trying to let you  
know how much i love you

  
(252): link

  
(252): did i put my foot in  
my mouth again?

  
(919): No

  
(919): Give me a minute

  
(252): is everything okay??

  
(919): Yeah

  
(919): You didn’t say  
anything wrong

  
(919): That kinda balance is  
why you’re so good for  
me, Rhett

  
(919): I get scared

  
(919): About stuff that  
sticks in my head

  
(919): And I catastrophize  
everything

  
(919): But you just

  
(919): Waltz in with this  
certainty that goes past  
reassurance

  
(919): And hits me so deep

  
(919): How do you always  
know what I need to hear  
when I don’t even know?

  
(252): babe

  
(252): are you crying??

  
(919): Don’t even tease me  
right now I swear to God

  
(252): no! no

  
(252): wow.

  
(252): what am i gonna  
do with you, blue?

  
(919): I think you just  
made that clear

  
(252): you’d say yes???

  
(252): link would you really

  
(919): With a little more time  
and less distance between us.  
In person.

  
(919): It’s not something you do  
over text, Mr. ‘It Wasn’t a Real  
Proposal, Obviously.’

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): oh my god

  
(252): well that’s

  
(252): alright then. hahaha

  
(919): Doofus.

 


	28. Log 28

(919): Feels like I’ve been texting  
you first a lot more often lately.

  
(919): Not anything wrong with it.

  
(919): Just realized I’ve been  
taking you for granted for  
initiating our chats. Lol.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): it’s such a nice day  
today, isn’t it?

  
(252): enjoy the warmth  
before fall ends

  
(919): It is nice!

  
(919): How’s our pup?

  
(252): great as ever

  
(252): she actually caught a  
pheasant this morning!

  
(252): i did my best to clean  
it... pretty hard with an axe,  
but it was a good breakfast

  
(919): Whoa. That’s amazing.

  
(252): right? fresh fowl

  
(919): Yeah. Dang.

  
(919): So… I have two things  
I need to talk to you about.

  
(252): that sounds serious

  
(252): at least whenever i text  
you first, it’s usually a cute  
question game or whatever  
haha

  
(252): what’s up?

  
(919): The shirt I took  
from your place?

  
(252): the blue and white one?

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(919): I’m so sorry. It ripped  
on some glass earlier today.

  
(252): you didn’t get  
cut, did you??

  
(919): No, but

  
(919): Now there’s a  
hole in the side.

  
(919): I’m sorry. I almost  
cried when it happened.  
You trusted me with  
this thing.

  
(252): aww link

  
(252): linky

  
(252): it’s okay. i can fix it  
with my sewing kit when we  
meet up

  
(919): You can patch clothing??

  
(252): repair, yeah. it’s no big  
deal. we’ll get your sweater  
fixed up

  
(919): It’s YOUR sweater.

  
(252): nah, it obviously means  
way more to you than it ever  
did to me

  
(252): consider it the first of  
many gifts to come

  
(919): Oh. Okay.

  
(919): Thanks, Rhett. I love it.  
Always have.

  
(252): of course, babe

  
(252): what else is going on  
with you?

  
(919): Uhh

  
(919): The next thing I  
wanted to talk about is  
kinda… awkward?

  
(252): oh boy

  
(252): color me excited

  
(252): awkward means you  
get all bothered and that’s  
my favorite version of you

  
(919): Ugh.

  
(919): Yeah, you’re about  
to have fun.

  
(919): So… I came  
across a store.

  
(252): uh huh

  
(919): A toy store.

  
(252): oooh grab something  
for charlie while you’re there!!

  
(252): she’d lose her mind  
for a stuffed animal to chew  
on, or maybe something made  
of sturdy plastic

  
(252): nothing can stand up  
to those chompers

  
(919): Rhett. Uhh.

  
(919): It’s not that kind  
of toy store.

  
(252): oh

  
(252): OH.

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(252): oh, gosh. okay

  
(919): And I just… it’s  
not often you find places  
like these out here,  
you know?

  
(919): I wanted to know if you

  
(919): Had any requests, or

  
(919): I’ve got some room  
in my pack…

  
(252): wow. wow, uh

  
(252): i’m not sure what to say

  
(919): That’s good enough. Sorry.  
I’ll keep walking.

  
(919): Sorry.

  
(252): NO

  
(252): link, wait

  
(252): stay there. please.

  
(252): that’s not what i meant.

  
(252): i uhh

  
(252): i literally don’t  
know what to say

  
(252): i’ve never done  
anything like that before?

  
(919): You’ve never used  
a toy before?

  
(252): never.

  
(252): not even the vanilla stuff

  
(919): Okay. Well

  
(919): What would you  
consider ‘vanilla?’

  
(252): like one of those, uh

  
(252): those bands you put on  
your dick?

  
(252): hell, i don’t even  
know what the point of  
those is

  
(919): They’re called cock rings.

  
(919): They make you harder  
and help you last longer.

  
(919): I’ll try to answer any  
questions you have?

  
(919): Not that I’m an expert or  
anything, but I evidently know  
more than you. LOL.

  
(252): no yeah please hahaha

  
(252): i don’t even know where  
to start in terms of what i might  
enjoy??

  
(919): It’s okay, man. Everyone  
starts somewhere.

  
(252): what are some of your  
favorites? do you have any?

  
(919): Oh, gosh.

  
(919): I know it’s my fault for  
bringing it up, but

  
(919): Gosh

  
(919): Well, uhh

  
(919): The thought of uhh

  
(252): take your time baby

  
(919): The thought of you  
spanking me is pretty hot,  
but we should probably  
conserve space for items  
we can’t just use our  
hands for.

  
(919): Does that make sense…?

  
(252): oh my god

  
(252): i’m torn because YES

  
(252): i will turn that ass red  
with my bare hands, neal

  
(252): but also… a paddle or  
whatever would be so niiice

  
(919): Mmm.

  
(919): Focus.

  
(252): i am focused

  
(919): Talking to myself

  
(252): HAHA

  
(252): what else?

  
(919): Well I feel like the  
most obvious question is  
‘do we want a dildo?’

  
(252): honest question: why  
would we need one? we’re both  
equipped already?

  
(919): They’re useful for  
extra fun.

  
(919): Like… Not saying we  
could necessarily pull this off,  
physically, but you can put it  
in me while

  
(919): Uhh

  
(919): While you’re inside, too

  
(252): oh dear god

  
(919): Or, uhh

  
(919): If we got a butt plug

  
(919): I could give you head  
while I’m sitting on it at  
your feet.

  
(252): holy fuck

  
(252): i

  
(252): is this supposed to

  
(252): i’m going to stop in  
this post office for a second,  
i can’t walk while you say  
shit like that

  
(252): okay

  
(252): charlie’s in quarantine

  
(252): good gosh

  
(919): Is that a yes, then?

  
(252): please?

  
(252): doesn’t have to  
be a big one

  
(919): I’ll grab one that looks  
safe for both scenarios, then.

  
(252): ‘safe?’

  
(919): Let me worry about  
the details. Lol. I’ll explain  
later.

  
(252): okay

  
(252): link can we, uhh

  
(252): can we keep talking?

  
(252): we’re both indoors and alone

  
(252): been thinking about you  
nonstop since last time

  
(919): Well, yeah. Lol.

  
(919): We aren’t done yet, love.

  
(252): yesss

  
(252): what’s next?

  
(919): Why don’t you tell me?

  
(919): It’d be easier for me  
to get an idea of what kinda  
playthings you’d enjoy if  
you got carried away like  
you do.

  
(252): yeah, okay

  
(252): i love the thought of you  
on your knees. squirming in  
between my legs, neal.

  
(252): just enjoying yourself,  
rocking yourself on that toy  
as you slobber and whimper  
against my cock

  
(919): Gosh, Rhett.

  
(919): Fuck.

  
(919): Where would you  
put your hands?

  
(252): oh man

  
(252): feels like a  
quiz, hahaha

  
(919): No wrong answers.

  
(252): i’d touch your collarbones

  
(252): your neck

  
(252): is it too much? if i say  
i want

  
(252): to choke you out a little?

  
(919): Not at all

  
(919): Your hands would feel  
amazing, Rhett. Large. Rough.

  
(919): Powerful.

  
(252): i’d touch your chest  
once you were breathless

  
(252): brush my thumbs against  
those perky nipples

  
(919): How rough you gonna  
be with ‘em?

  
(252): as rough as you’ll  
let me go. fuck

  
(919): Grabbing some clamps

  
(919): Keep going, love

  
(252): would you stroke yourself  
as you sucked me off?

  
(919): Unless you restrained me.

  
(919): You into that?

  
(252): ...nah, i want you free

  
(252): be able to do whatever  
you want, baby

  
(919): What if I wanted  
to restrain you? I thought  
you liked to feel helpless,  
McLaughlin.

  
(252): oh my god

  
(252): you would really  
handcuff me?

  
(252): that isn’t something i ever  
even thought about

  
(252): please? please, link

  
(919): In a heartbeat.

  
(919): I could lock you to  
a pole with your hands  
behind your back.

  
(252): ...i just growled

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(919): Handcuffs are  
in the bag.

  
(252): i think

(252): i think i know what i’d  
want you to use on me, when  
i’m restrained

  
(919): Share.

  
(252): i don’t know what they’re  
called, but

  
(252): one of those cushy rubber  
sleeves you can jerk off with?

  
(252): saw them in a porno once  
and always wanted to try one…  
but it’d be so much hotter  
if you were the one controlling it

  
(919): You want a pocket pussy?

  
(252): THAT’S what they’re  
called??

  
(919): Marketing probably  
decided it sounded sexy.

  
(252): pocket pussy

  
(252): that uh

  
(252): that kills the mood,  
doesn’t it?

  
(919): Not if I’m the one  
who gets to use it on  
you, Rhett.

  
(919): There are some pretty  
non-descript ones if it’s not  
the... um

  
(919): ‘Anatomical accuracy’  
that turns you on

  
(252): what? i didn’t even know  
those existed. i just thought the  
material they were made of  
looked nice

  
(919): Ever heard of a  
company called Tenga?

  
(252): nope

  
(919): I’ll grab some Eggs.

  
(252): uhh

  
(252): that sounds

  
(252): weird

  
(919): LOL. You’ll like them.  
Promise.

  
(252): okay haha

  
(252): i trust you

  
(252): so, uhh

  
(252): where were we?

  
(919): Sorry. I got all the  
information I needed.

  
(252): what??

  
(252): nooo

  
(252): oh, gosh, neal

  
(252): it was the pussy talk  
wasn’t it?

  
(919): No! You’re allowed  
to be bisexual, Rhett.  
You like what you like.

  
(252): but

  
(919): I just

  
(919): Cruel as it sounds, it was  
never my intention to do more  
than get you riled up. LOL.

  
(252): fuck, link

  
(252): can i at least finish  
myself off??

  
(919): You know what?

  
(919): Since you were so kind  
as to ask my permission?

  
(919): No.

  
(252): LINK

  
(919): RHETT

  
(252): PLEASE

  
(919): Don’t wanna be patient  
for my participation…?

  
(919): I won’t make you wait  
too much longer, love. I’ll  
make it up to you if you’re  
just a bit more patient.

  
(252): ...shit

  
(252): okay

  
(252): you’re such a cocktease

  
(919): Wait ‘til you see  
me in person.

  
(252): link oh my god i’m weak

  
(252): ugh

  
(252): you’re too much sometimes

  
(919): You love me though.

  
(252): i do.

  
(919): Sorry I got your hopes up…  
among other things. Lol. Feel  
kinda guilty about it.

  
(252): oh

  
(252): link

  
(252): fuck oh shit

  
(919): Rhett?

  
(919): Rhett what’s wrong

  
(252): charlie’s gone

 


	29. Log 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the tags, take care of yourself, and read the note at the bottom before commenting.   
> You can skip this chapter without damaging reading experience, if you'd like to. Thank you.

(919): ‘Gone?’

  
(919): I thought you said you  
quarantined her?

  
(252): i did!!

  
(252): i put her in a room  
and shut the door

  
(252): just for a second!

  
(252): just while we were

  
(252): oh god

  
(919): Rhett, it’s okay! She’s  
around somewhere, obviously.

  
(919): Maybe the door wasn’t  
actually shut and she slipped out?

  
(252): no, the latch was working

  
(252): i double-checked when  
i put her in there

  
(252): how did she

  
(919): Is she hiding, maybe?

  
(252): oh

  
(252): oh, shit

  
(252): there’s a package  
drop-off slot in the wall

  
(252): opens outwards  
when pushed

  
(252): i didn’t even notice

  
(919): I’m sure she’s just  
outside, then.

  
(919): Go look for her. She  
couldn’t have gone far.

  
(252): okay

  
(252): okay hang on i’ll  
text you soon

  
(919): Be safe.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(252): link.

  
(919): Hey! Did you find Charlie?

  
(252): yeah.

  
(919): What’s wrong?

  
(919): Is she okay?

  
(919): Rhett?

  
(919): Oh, no

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): Rhett, sweetheart

  
(252): if i’d arrived just a  
few minutes earlier

  
(919): Do NOT start  
thinking like that

  
(919): What happened?

  
(919): Hunter…?

  
(252): she was trying to  
get under a fence.

  
(252): her collar

  
(252): the one i picked out for her

  
(252): the one i put on her

  
(252): it got caught

  
(919): Oh, Rhett

  
(252): she’s so heavy.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(919): Rhett?

  
(919): Love?

  
(919): I hope you ate  
something today.

  
(919): I know you don’t have  
the heart to respond. And  
that’s fine. I understand.

  
(919): But I hope you’re  
taking care of yourself.

  
(919): It really wasn’t  
your fault.

  
(919): You did the best you  
could for her. She was a  
lone stray when you took  
her in.

  
(919): It was just… a  
horrible accident.

  
(919): Life is so, so  
unfair sometimes.

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(919): I know you’re beating  
yourself up about this.

  
(919): But you gave Charlie  
the best days of her life  
there at the end.

  
(919): You played with her,  
gave her medicine, watched  
over her, cuddled with her.

  
(919): You showed her there  
was still love in a world full of  
hardship and death.

  
(919): She wouldn’t blame you.  
Even if she could.

  
(919): She had nothing but  
adoration for you. You didn’t  
fail her.

  
(919): I’m sorry I didn’t get  
to meet her. I know you loved  
her. A lot.

  
(919): I also know nothing I  
say will make it okay.

  
(919): It’s so cold tonight.  
I can see my breath.

  
(919): I hope you’re warm.  
Please give me at least  
one text soon, so I know  
you’re safe.

  
(919): I’ll leave you be.

  
(919): I love you, Rhett.

  
(919): Goodnight.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The nature of Charlie's death is based on the passing of a beloved dog from my childhood. Please be kind.  
> I haven't forgotten you, Judd.


	30. Log 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check the tags and take care of yourself.

(252): morning.

  
(919): Good morning, love.

  
(919): It’s nice to  
hear from you.

  
(252): did you get  
enough sleep?

  
(919): Yeah. I got worried about  
you last night so I stayed  
put in the shop. Life is full  
of surprises.

  
(919): How are you?

  
(252): slept fine.

  
(252): sounds like an  
interesting night.

  
(919): It was creepy,  
more than anything.

  
(252): leaving roseboro now.

  
(919): Oh.

  
(919): Sooner than I  
would’ve guessed.

  
(252): gotta get to fayetteville.

  
(919): I know I’ve said it  
before, but we aren’t in  
any rush.

  
(919): Don’t push yourself.

  
(252): not pushing.

  
(252): just sticking to the plan.

  
(919): Rhett, do you  
want to talk?

  
(252): i’m good.

  
(919): It’s okay if  
you’re not, though.

  
(252): i’m fine, link.

  
(919): You don’t seem fine.

  
(252): that’s on you, then.

  
(252): not my fault you choose  
to interpret my texts that way.

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(252): what are your plans  
for today?

  
(919): Rhett, stop for  
a second.

  
(252): why?

  
(252): i’m not interested in  
wasting any more time.

  
(252): we both know what we  
need to do, right?

  
(252): so let’s do it.

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(252): we’re going to fayetteville.

  
(252): a clear destination.

  
(252): anyone can handle that.

  
(252): point a to point b.

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(252): if we get off the  
phone and focus, we  
can cover a lot of  
ground today.

  
(252): i could even get  
there tonight.

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(252): what?!

  
(252): why do you keep  
saying my name?!

  
(252): i see it, okay?

  
(252): i see you saying  
my fucking name

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(252): Don’t.

  
(919): It’s okay.

  
(919): It’s not your fault.

  
(919): Charlie’s death wasn’t  
your fault.

  
(252): it was.

  
(252): it is.

  
(919): No.

  
(919): It isn’t.

  
(252): she was our dog, link.

  
(919): She was a great dog.

  
(919): And there was  
an accident.

  
(252): i locked her in a room.

  
(919): To keep her safe.

  
(252): so i could be selfish.

  
(919): So you could be human.

  
(252): she needed me.

  
(252): and i wasn’t there.

  
(919): But you wanted to be.

  
(252): god damn it

  
(919): It’s going to be okay.

  
(252): it’s not.

  
(252): i can’t believe how  
much i love her. after only  
a few days together

  
(252): i miss her.

  
(252): i keep looking around,  
expecting her to burst through  
some bushes, or see her  
running through the trees.

  
(919): I know.

  
(252): she would’ve been  
better off if i’d never found  
her.

  
(919): That’s not true.

  
(919): You gave her companionship.  
Same as she gave you.

  
(252): and now she’s gone.

  
(919): I’m sorry, Rhett.

  
(919): I’m so sorry.

  
(252): how could i let that  
happen to her?

  
(919): You didn’t. If you’d  
known, you absolutely  
wouldn’t have.

  
(919): But you didn’t know.

  
(919): And that’s not  
your fault.

  
(252): link.

  
(919): Losing a loved one…

  
(919): There’s nothing worse.

  
(252): if i couldn’t take  
care of our dog

  
(252): if i couldn’t keep  
her safe from harm

  
(252): how can i trust myself  
to keep you safe?

  
(919): What??

  
(919): Rhett, that’s

  
(252): don’t say it isn’t the  
fucking same. it is.

  
(252): so i don’t want  
to hear it.

  
(252): i love charlie,  
and i lost charlie.

  
(252): i love you,  
and i’ll lose you.

  
(919): But it ISN’T the same!

  
(919): I’m a person, not a dog.

  
(919): I have resources, I can  
problem-solve to get myself  
out of dangerous situations.

  
(252): charlie was smart, too.

  
(919): Rhett, you aren’t  
responsible for my safety

  
(919): OR for keeping me alive.

  
(252): aren’t i?

  
(252): you’re what’s most  
important to me.

  
(252): people have to look after  
the ones they love. if they don’t,  
that is a FAILURE on their part.

  
(252): plain and simple.

  
(919): I’m not a pet!

  
(919): I’m a person, capable of  
making my own decisions,  
both good and bad.

  
(919): Hell, we could meet  
up and I could trip and  
break my neck out on a  
walk one morning.

  
(252): no. you would not  
go anywhere without me.  
not on my watch.

  
(252): i have to make sure  
you’re safe, link. all the time.

  
(919): That’s ridiculous!

  
(919): You have to accept that  
not everything’s under your  
control, Rhett.

  
(919): Bad things are  
going to happen.

  
(919): You can’t always be  
there to stop them. It’s  
physically impossible.

  
(919): What if I slip  
in the shower?

  
(919): What if I get sick?

  
(919): What if I fall down  
some stairs?

  
(919): What if I get cancer?

  
(919): What if I get bit?

  
(252): STOP

  
(252): stop. jesus christ.

  
(252): i get it.

  
(252): but clearly you don’t.

  
(252): how am i supposed to  
love someone while knowing  
i’m going to lose them anyway?

  
(252): and there’s not anything  
i can do about it?

  
(252): what’s the fucking point?

  
(919): What?

  
(919): Rhett, what kind of  
question is that?

  
(919): You realize what it  
sounds like you’re saying,  
right?

  
(252): yeah. i do.

  
(919): You

  
(919): You can’t be serious

  
(252): well

  
(252): do you have an  
answer for me?

  
(919): No!

  
(919): It’s a risk you take  
when you decide to let  
someone be close to you!

  
(252): i never wanted to  
live like that. i didn’t sign  
up for that.

  
(252): in constant fear.

  
(252): overbearing or terrified  
being my only options.

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): What are you doing?

  
(919): This isn’t you

  
(252): it is, actually.

  
(252): y’know

  
(252): it’s a welcome reminder

  
(252): of why i lived alone  
before all of this.

  
(252): it’s easier, being alone.

  
(252): it’ll be better for  
both of us.

  
(252): you won’t have to  
worry about me anymore.  
and i won’t be chained to  
this ridiculous fear of losing  
you for the rest of…

  
(252): whatever kind of  
life this is.

  
(252): cause i’m GOING  
to lose you.

  
(252): why not get it over with?

  
(252): Link...

  
(252): for what it’s worth,  
i’m sorry. 

 


	31. Log 31

(919): I debated trying to  
talk you out of it.

  
(919): But it’s been three days.

  
(919): And you haven’t  
texted me once.

  
(919): So you’re serious.

  
(919): I can’t help wondering  
what that must be like.

  
(919): Being able to  
detach completely.

  
(919): And make it  
look so effortless.

  
(919): You’re stronger than  
me, I guess. ‘Cause here I am.

  
(919): I wonder if you blocked me.  
Can you even see these?

  
(919): If you can’t, that’s fine.

  
(919): Being able to read this  
wouldn’t change anything.

  
(919): You’re stubborn.

  
(919): I wonder if you  
buried Charlie.

  
(919): She deserved a proper  
burial. Took good care of you.

  
(919): You know…  
it’s the same world.

  
(919): Same as it was  
when I found this phone.

  
(919): But everything’s gray now.  
It’s all desaturated.

  
(919): Even though we discussed  
going back to being just friends  
if this didn’t work out, I guess that  
wasn’t true for you. Was it?

  
(919): You’re totally gone.

  
(919): I changed my  
phone’s background.

  
(919): That helped it sink in.

  
(919): You know what?

  
(919): Since you’re gone, I’ve  
got nothing to lose.

  
(919): I lied.

  
(919): There was never any  
evacuation service in Raleigh.

  
(919): I was scared shitless by you.

  
(919): I was terrified that if we met,  
I’d be that guy who had a  
pathetic perpetual crush on  
his best friend.

  
(919): And that you’d find out,  
and you’d hate me. Or think  
I was disgusting.

  
(919): And leave.

  
(919): But I guess you  
left anyway.

  
(919): So… that’s out  
there, then.

  
(919): Hope you’re not headed  
to Raleigh to try and catch  
a helicopter. They don’t exist.

  
(919): Mmm.

  
(919): It’s crazy how wrong I  
was about you.

  
(919): I’ve never been more  
scared than I was in your  
house.

  
(919): Laying in your bed.  
Heart racing as I punched out  
every thought I’d never been  
brave enough to voice to you.

  
(919): All because you  
encouraged me to.

  
(919): In my defense,  
you lied about your  
orientation.

  
(919): Or, hell. 

  
(919): Maybe it wasn’t a lie.  
I’ve no idea anymore.

  
(919): I haven’t traveled since  
we last spoke.

  
(919): Seems pointless.

  
(919): Where would I go?

  
(919): I bet you’re on the  
move, though.

  
(919):

  
(919): Shit.

  
(919): I’m not gonna say it.

  
(919): I refuse to feed into my  
own hurt like that.

  
(919): You don’t wanna hear it.

  
(919): I don’t need to say it.

  
(919): But I’m transparent. Right?

  
(919): So maybe you know  
what I mean anyway.

  
(919): I hope you find  
someone else to talk to.

  
(919): I know how important our  
communication was for you.  
For your mental health.

  
(919): Maybe that’s why  
you developed feelings for  
me in the first place?

  
(919): Maybe it wasn’t about me.

  
(919): Maybe it was just  
the fact that I was there.  
That I was accessible.

  
(919): Well.

  
(919): If it happens again,  
I hope it’s someone worth  
fighting for.

  
(919): That sounds bitter.  
But I mean it.

  
(919): You deserve to be happy.

  
(919): Wish you’d let yourself  
feel that. Realize it.

  
(919): Remember when I  
ate skunk cabbage? Lol.

  
(919): And you just

  
(919): You were just

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the day this chapter was posted, the entire fic was briefly re-titled _You have no new messages._ Hope that clears up any potential confusion caused by reading the comments.


	32. Log 32

(252): it’s early morning.

  
(252): early enough that i know  
you won’t be awake yet.

  
(252): skies are clear, and the  
sunshine is blinding, but  
somehow it’s still so cold.

  
(252): always thought it  
was weird, how that happens.

  
(252): i’m grateful you didn’t  
try to convince me.

  
(252): considered dropping  
my phone into a trash can.

  
(252): no use in making this  
any harder than it has to be.

  
(252): doesn’t seem fair to you,  
either way.

  
(252): but i might as well just  
go back to treating this like  
a journal, since that’s what it  
looks like you’re doing.

  
(252): you don’t gotta read   
any of this, though. obviously.

  
(252): no evacuation, huh?

  
(252): sneaky.

  
(252): should probably be  
mad, but i’m not. it’s so you,  
i actually smiled.

  
(252): doesn’t matter now,  
anyway.

  
(252): i did bury charlie.

  
(252): she’s in a field in roseboro.

  
(252): kept her grave company   
for a while. wasn’t a conscious   
decision. just felt right.

  
(252): i’m leaving for   
elizabethtown.

  
(252): sorry if that’s not  
pleasant to hear.

  
(252): hell, none of this  
is probably particularly  
pleasant to read.

  
(252): what kind of person  
blows up their ex’s phone  
after leaving them?

  
(252): me, apparently.

  
(252): hey, look at it this  
way: at least you’re not  
with a total piece of shit   
anymore. haha.

  
(252): and after all this?

  
(252): i’m not trying to  
find anyone else to talk  
with regularly.

  
(252): i learned my lesson.

 


	33. Log 33

(919): So you’re there.

  
(919): Surreal.  
  


(919): It’s kinda funny.

  
(919): I’m always up late,  
and you always wake up  
early. This journaling thing  
might work out if we don’t  
cross paths.

  
(919): When I saw your texts  
this morning, there was a  
moment where everything  
was normal again.

  
(919): Well, not normal, normal.

  
(919): But back to the way  
it was before.

  
(919): And then reality hit, and   
I couldn’t bring myself to   
read any of them until I   
sat down for lunch.

  
(919): They’re fine. Journal away.

  
(919): Put my old SIM  
card into this phone.  
Forgot I had it on me.

  
(919): Should explain   
the new number.

  
(919): But I transferred everything  
over. Now this phone is   
officially mine.

  
(919): Kept your number,   
obviously. Some pics, too.

  
(919): Found a solar charger.

  
(919): A winter coat, too.

  
(919): It’s weird, because  
usually when you’re not  
doing well mentally, you  
stop caring about how  
you’re doing, physically.

  
(919): I think it’s more that  
I’m just on autopilot. Y’know?

  
(919): My body’s just responding  
to stimuli in the order they happen.

  
(919): Like a program running  
through control switches.

  
(919): Hungry? Eat.  
Cold? Find warmth.  
Need to pee? Piss.

  
(919): At least it keeps  
me moving.

  
(919): Reminds me that  
I’m still here in this mess.

  
(919): Elizabethtown, huh.

  
(919): I visited once as a kid.  
Don’t remember it at all.

  
(919): I don’t care where you go.

  
(919): I’m not entitled to   
any say in where you   
go, or what you do.

  
(919): Have fun.

  
(919): I’m going to set up camp  
in the woods. Why not.

  
(919): I’ve got enough tools to  
make do. When food runs out,  
I’ll worry about that.

  
(919): Haven’t had much   
appetite lately though.

  
(919): Not sure why   
I’d share that.

  
(919): Just a symptom   
of circumstance.

  
(919): Okay.

  
(919): Gonna scope out   
a good spot to settle down.

 


	34. Log 34

(252): new number. weird.

  
(252): new us, new log.

  
(252): my beard has gotten  
so bushy.

  
(252): didn’t realize until  
i saw my reflection in a   
window today.

  
(252): haven’t been focusing  
on my appearance much.

  
(252): stopped putting   
my hair up.

  
(252): i spent a lot of time  
before bed last night   
debating whether i should  
delete the photo and   
screenshots i have.

  
(252): ones of you, i mean.   
us talking.

  
(252): i didn’t.

  
(252): good memories  
are worth holding onto,  
right? we talked about  
that a few times.

  
(252): the photo is explicit   
though, so i feel bad   
keeping it.

  
(252): i’m not ‘using’  
it, or anything like that.

  
(252): it’s just attached  
to a good memory.

  
(252): i’ll delete it if  
you prefer.

  
(252): anyway

  
(252): i passed by a  
store yesterday that was  
playing merle on their  
speakers.

  
(252): it was strange.  
didn’t notice i was  
crying til my nose ran.

  
(252): i used to have  
ten fingers, didn’t i?

  
(252): the song was  
‘are the good times  
really over.’ i hadn’t really  
listened to the lyrics  
since i was younger.

  
(252): like… really  
listened to them.

  
(252): a lot of them aren’t  
nearly as powerful as i used  
to think they were. they’re   
actually kinda shitty now.

  
(252): which is doubly ironic,  
in a way. rest in peace, merle.

  
(252): that’s all i have to share.

  
(252): have a good day.

 


	35. Log 35

(919): I don’t have   
anything to record.

  
(919): Slept all day.

  
(919): You can keep the photo.


	36. Log 36

(252): only three texts?

  
(252): mm. not my place to   
comment.

  
(252): couldn’t stop thinking  
about the pheasant charlie  
caught, so i made a trap last  
night.

  
(252): just a crude thing with  
a sapling and leaves of grass.

  
(252): it worked though.

  
(252): when i woke up this  
morning, there was a rabbit  
in it.

  
(252): but i couldn’t bring  
myself to kill it.

  
(252): so small and breathing  
so heavily.

  
(252): it was so scared.

  
(252): i let it go and watched  
it run off.

  
(252): i’ll find something to  
eat elsewhere.

 


	37. Log 37

(919): Ran out of shotgun   
shells today

  
(919): It’s fine though


	38. Log 38

(252): you have another way  
to defend yourself, right?

  
(252): please respond when  
you wake up.

  
(919): I’m up.

  
(919): I thought we weren’t   
going to address one   
another directly.

  
(252): this is different.

  
(252): do you have another   
weapon?

  
(919): Does it matter?

  
(252): yes.

  
(252): you can’t leave   
yourself vulnerable.

  
(919): I’ll try to find   
something soon.

  
(252): when?

  
(919): Once I get up.

  
(919): Go do your thing.

  
(252): why not get up now?  
it’s daylight.

  
(252): how much have you  
been sleeping?

  
(252): don’t procrastinate  
on this.

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): did you get   
a replacement?

  
(919): Why are you still awake?

  
(252): answer the question.

  
(919): No.

  
(252): no you won’t answer,  
or no you don’t have another  
weapon?

  
(919): The latter.

  
(252): what the hell?

  
(252): why not?

  
(919): I don’t see the point.

  
(252): don’t even with that.

  
(252): the you i know  
doesn’t roll over and die  
when something bad happens.

  
(919): You never met me.

  
(252): don’t pull that shit.

  
(252): you can’t just rot in your  
sleeping bag in a freezing field.   
do you even have a tent?

  
(919): Leave me alone.

  
(252): …

  
(252): no.

  
(252): you’re pissing me off.

  
(919): Not trying to.

  
(919): I’m turning off my phone.

  
(919): Go back to journaling   
if you want.

  
(252): do NOT turn off   
your phone, link.

  
(252): i swear to god

  
(252): link

  
(252): link

  
(252): link?

 


	39. Log 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated. Please check them.

(919): Three missed calls.

  
(252): there you are

  
(252): stop being ridiculous!

  
(252): what are you going  
to do when another hunter   
finds you?

  
(919): Let’s see.

  
(919): I’m in a sweater, in a   
sleeping bag. No gun.

  
(919): You get the picture.

  
(252): okay. i’m turning around.

  
(919): Don’t.

  
(252): then go get a   
goddamn weapon.

  
(252): i did what i did so that  
you would be able to live  
without me hovering over   
you constantly.

  
(919): I know.

  
(919): So you should stop.

  
(252): what you’re doing isn’t   
living. you’re literally lying  
in the middle of nowhere,   
waiting for death.

  
(919): It’s not your concern.

  
(252): yeah, see, it is.

  
(252): you think i don’t realize   
this is because of me?

  
(252): you think i just straight up  
don’t care anymore?

  
(919): Assumed, when you  
didn’t text me for days after.

  
(252): i did that for   
your benefit.

  
(252): to make the change   
easier.

  
(919): I know.

  
(252): you’re stronger than this.

  
(252): what happened to you?

  
(919): If I tell you that   
I’ve always had depression   
and just never told you,   
would that make you   
leave me alone?

  
(252): no.

  
(252): ...shit.

  
(252): you HAVE to get   
up and get a weapon.

  
(252): you want me to leave  
you alone? you want me to  
stay away? go get a weapon.

  
(919): Oh, look.

  
(919): There was a pistol   
in my bag. I forgot.

  
(252): try again.

  
(252): i’m requiring a photo.

  
(252): and NOT another firearm.

  
(919): Why?

  
(252): just... no. okay?

  
(252): take care of yourself,  
for christ’s sake.

  
(919): Why don’t you want   
me to have a gun?

  
(252): don’t make me say it.

  
(252): you’re not in a good  
head space.

  
(919): Don’t trust me?

  
(252): i trust you. i don’t  
trust your illness.

  
(919): Smart man.

  
(252): no guns, okay?

  
(919): If I really wanted to do   
something, that wouldn’t stop me.

  
(252): don’t

  
(252): don’t talk like that. yeah?

  
(252): do you remember when  
you found that text from me?  
the one that talked about shit  
like this?

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(252): remember how that felt?

  
(252): like hell i’m going to  
ignore a cry for help.

  
(919):

  
(919): Okay.

  
(252): you getting up?

  
(919): Getting up.

 


	40. Log 40

(919): This good?

  
(919): [image file 18-0291.jpg]

  
(252): is that a machete?

  
(919): Yeah. Found in a barn.

  
(252): yeah, that's good.

  
(252): you feel confident enough  
using it?

  
(919): Sure.

  
(252): can’t argue with that.

  
(252): why don’t you   
start walking?

  
(252): just head to the nearest  
town and let me know what  
it is.

  
(919): Okay.

  
(252): thank you.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): Wade.

  
(252): what?

  
(919): The name of the   
town is Wade.

  
(252): oh. gotcha.

  
(252): find a home to   
bunker down in.

  
(919): Okay.

  
(252): ...thanks for cooperating.

  
(919): It’s easy.

  
(919): Like getting directives.

  
(252): if that keeps you moving,  
keep thinking of it like that.

  
(252): i backtracked down 210.  
heading towards fayetteville, but  
i’ll find my way towards wade.

  
(919): Okay.

  
(252): you really don’t have  
any objections?

  
(919): I do, but they   
don’t matter.

  
(252): sure they do.

  
(252): if you would rather   
not see me, i think it would   
be okay. so long as you   
keep following my  
instructions.

  
(919): You’re already   
on your way.

  
(252): i’m not trying to   
make you uncomfortable.   
not trying to press you into   
a situation you don’t want  
want to be in.

  
(252): i can stop in fayetteville.

  
(919): Do that, then?

  
(252): done.

  
(252): you gotta keep doing   
what i say though. okay?

  
(919): Okay.

 


	41. Log 41

(252): did you eat   
something today?

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(252): shower?

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(252): good. that means   
you got out of bed.

  
(919): I did.

  
(252): proud of you.

  
(252): i know how hard it is.

  
(919): Thanks.

  
(252): how are you feeling?

  
(252): emotionally?

  
(919): Okay.

  
(919): Exhausted.

  
(252): don’t let yourself sleep  
too long. set an alarm on the  
phone. okay?

  
(919): Okay.

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): you’re keeping that   
house secure, right?

  
(919): Haven’t checked the   
doors in a while.

  
(919): I’ll do that now.

  
(252): good.

  
(919): How are you?

  
(252): me?

  
(252): why?

  
(919): You’ve been checking in  
with me a lot. Haven’t done   
that with you.

  
(252): i’m fine

  
(919): Okay.

  
(252): just keep me posted   
on you, okay? until you’re well  
enough to get back on your feet.

  
(919): I will.

 


	42. Log 42

(252): how are things?

  
(919): I ran out of food   
this morning.

  
(252): time to find a   
grocery store. you   
feel up to it?

  
(919): Already did. Sorry   
I didn’t tell you.

  
(252): whoa

  
(252): that’s great!  
don’t apologize

  
(919): Yeah?

  
(252): yeah. i’m proud of you.

  
(919): Thank you.

  
(252): get anything good?

  
(919): Lots of cereal.

  
(252): should’ve guessed.

  
(252): any produce?

  
(919): A few cans. Yeah.

  
(252): good job!

  
(919): I’m not a child. Lol.

  
(252): no, but it’s hard to  
make good decisions when  
you don’t feel good.

  
(919): Don’t feel much   
of anything.

  
(919): You ever been depressed?

  
(252): no. i had friends in  
college who were, though.

  
(919): Did you do this   
for them?

  
(252): i didn’t.

  
(252): but i learned a lot   
about what it’s like living   
with it.

  
(919): I can tell.

  
(919): ...thanks for helping me.

  
(252): of course.

  
(252): i

  
(252): i still care about   
you, man.

  
(252): don’t get that twisted.

  
(919): Lol. Okay.

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): why was that funny?

  
(919): Hmm?

  
(252): you said ‘lol’ when i  
told you i still care about you.

  
(919): Oh. I dunno.

  
(919): Just felt like saying it.

  
(252): i see.

  
(252): it’s true, y’know.

  
(919): Okay.

  
(252): …i can’t tell whether  
you’re being sarcastic or not.

  
(919): Not being sarcastic.

  
(252): so you know it’s true?

  
(919): Sure.

  
(252): how can i convince  
you that i mean it?

  
(919): Why do you need to?

  
(919): You told me. I heard you.

  
(919): It’s fine.

  
(252): because i want you  
to know there’s someone  
out there who genuinely wants  
you to take care of yourself.

  
(252): i think it’s something  
you need to let yourself  
hear, and believe.

  
(919): Lol.

  
(252): what??

  
(919): You’ve done enough.

  
(919): Made me get a weapon  
and a house to live in.

  
(919): You can bow out now.

  
(919): Cut me loose.

  
(252): i

  
(252): i can’t.

  
(252): not while you’re in a  
state of mind like this.

  
(252): is it making it worse?  
me texting you?

  
(919): Been considering it.

  
(919): I don’t think so.

  
(919): That’s not to say I  
think it’s healthy, but. Yeah.

  
(252): it was never my goal  
to shut you out completely.

  
(252): unless you want to   
go back to journaling, i’d  
like to keep texting you.

  
(252): as friends.

  
(252): is that okay?

  
(919): Why?

  
(252): because i think it’s  
the easiest way to prove  
to you that you aren’t  
disposable, either. the way  
you used to remind me.

  
(919): ...okay.

  
(919): Why not.

  
(252): thanks. i’ll try not to  
annoy you.

  
(919): Not annoyed.

  
(919): Just tired.

  
(252): i know you are. it’s okay.

  
(252): don’t sleep too long.

  
(919): I won’t.

 


	43. Log 43

(252): i've got a joke for you.

  
(919): Okay.

  
(252): what’s the stupidest  
animal in the jungle?

  
(919): I dunno. What?

  
(252): you should guess!

  
(919): Gosh.

  
(919): Uhh.

  
(919): The sloth?

  
(919): Sorry. I’ve got nothing that  
could pass as a punchline.

  
(252): you're okay.

  
(252): the polar bear.

  
(919): What??

  
(919): Oh

  
(919): LOL

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): did you really laugh?

  
(919): Yeah, man. That’s  
such a stupid joke

  
(252): hahaha i know

  
(252): it got ya, though

  
(919): It did

  
(919): You want to hear one?

  
(252): absolutely!

  
(919): Alright

  
(919): Why do elephants wear  
green sneakers?

  
(252): hmm

  
(252): so grass stains  
don’t show?

  
(919): So they can sneak  
across pool tables.

  
(252): what??

  
(252): i don't get it

  
(919): Have you ever seen an  
elephant on a pool table?

  
(252): no

  
(919): See? It works.

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): oh my god

  
(252): that’s even dumber  
than my joke

  
(919): Like it?

  
(252): i love it

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): Are you in Fayetteville yet?

  
(252): almost.

  
(252): look at you, texting me  
first

  
(919): Is that okay?

  
(252): of course!

  
(919): Sorry. If I had anyone  
else to talk to, I’d leave  
you alone.

  
(252): what why?

  
(252): i told you i still wanna  
be friends

  
(919): Yeah but

  
(919): Nevermind

  
(252): no, what?

  
(252): please tell me.

  
(919): Uhh

  
(919): Usually when you go  
through a break-up

  
(919): You talk to your friends  
about it. Right?

  
(919): But… for me, that’s you.

  
(919): It’s weird to talk about  
someone WITH that someone.

  
(252): oh.

  
(252): i guess i didn’t really  
think about that.

  
(252): i’m sorry.

  
(252): i’m here, though.  
you can talk to me about it.

  
(252): you can even pretend  
i’m someone else if it helps  
you get stuff off your chest.

  
(919): You don’t want that.

  
(252): sure i do.

  
(252): we were friends  
before we were together.  
talked about past  
relationships then.

  
(252): would it really be  
so different?

  
(252): tell me what’s on  
your mind.

  
(252): just talk.

  
(919): Mm. It’s like I can’t  
feel anything anymore.

  
(919): I know it’ll pass,  
and it’s not his fault I  
fell into an episode of  
depression. Just a  
trigger.

  
(919): But everything is numb.   
I miss him so much.

  
(919): My chest hurts.

  
(919): We still talk, but it  
isn’t the same.

  
(919): And the worst part is

  
(919): Well. None of it’s good

  
(919): But the worst part  
is that he seems fine.  
He’s just out there walking  
around and surviving like  
nothing has changed.

  
(919): Like I wasn’t anything.

  
(919): Like a chasm opened up.  
And where I fell, he jumped across.

  
(919): And the fact that I can’t  
seem to find any place to grip,  
to pull myself up?

  
(919): The pain of that?

  
(919): It’s just this constant  
proof that I still love him.

  
(919): Like a weight tied  
to my legs. Making sure  
I can’t climb up, too.

  
(919): At least the nightmares  
I used to have, I could  
wake up from.

  
(919): And when I think about it  
honestly, I can’t imagine there  
being a time when that  
feeling of love fades

  
(919): Which is fucking  
terrifying, right?

  
(919): Because he’s gone.

  
(919): He’s already gone, and I’m  
just left dealing with the fallout of  
a decision I wasn’t included in

  
(919): And it’s so painful.

  
(919): Why can’t I be okay?

  
(919): It’s been two weeks.

  
(919): When does recovery start?

  
(919): I’m tired all of the time.  
I’m just… tired.

  
(919): Okay.

  
(919): That’s all.

  
(919): You probably don’t want  
to respond now. Sorry.

  
(252): you’re okay. i do  
want to respond.

  
(252): thanks for opening up.

  
(252): as your friend

  
(252): i’ll say that i know  
it’s really hard, but it’s  
going to get easier. it’s  
going to be okay. don’t lose  
sight of things that are worth  
getting better for.

  
(252): there’s always light  
at the end of the tunnel,  
no matter how hopeless  
it feels. cliche, but true.

  
(919): Thanks.

  
(919): Can I ask?

  
(252): anything.

  
(919): You said ‘as your friend.’

  
(919): What would you say  
as my ex?

  
(919): I know it’s self-damaging  
and dumb and it won’t do any  
good, but

  
(252): i’d say that i must  
be doing a pretty good  
job hiding how i’m  
really doing.

  
(919): Haha

  
(919): Sorry, it’s not  
funny, just

  
(252): no, i know.

  
(252): you’re fine.

 


	44. Log 44

(252): i still catch myself  
looking for charlie sometimes.

  
(919): That’s rough. I’m sorry.

  
(919): I know how much   
you love her.

  
(252): it’ll get better. everything   
does, with time.

  
(252): how are you feeling?

  
(919): Pretty good!

  
(919): Went and looked for a  
gun today.

  
(252): whoa, what?

  
(252): are you sure you

  
(252): that you feel okay   
enough to?

  
(919): Yeah, don’t worry.

  
(919): The worst is over.

  
(919): My little vent session the  
other night helped a lot, so.   
Thanks.

  
(252): anytime.

  
(252): so did you find a gun?

  
(919): I did. Got a 22 Magnum.

  
(919): Thank goodness these things   
were as popular as they were.  
I can’t imagine not being able to  
find ammo for it when I need it.

  
(252): wow! now if you   
can find some more   
shotgun shells, you’ll   
really be back in business.

  
(919): Yeah, right?

  
(919): That’s my next goal.

  
(919): Why settle for one   
gun when I can have   
two? Pew pew.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): you gonna do   
that today?

  
(919): Yep. Soon as I finish lunch.

  
(919): These Mini Wheats ain’t  
gonna eat themselves.

  
(252): sounds good

  
(252): man

  
(252): i’m glad you’re starting  
to feel normal again.

  
(919): Getting there, anyway.

  
(919): What’s new with you?

  
(252): got to fayetteville this   
morning. sorta surreal

  
(252): i’m about to go   
house-hunting, hahaha

  
(919): Don’t forget the fireplace.

  
(252): oh

  
(252): yeah

  
(919): That was on your   
must-have list, wasn’t it?   
One of the only things.

  
(252): yeah. it was.

  
(919): Well, I hope you get one!

  
(919): The world is your oyster now.

  
(919): No one to answer to, no   
sacrifices to make, nothin’  
holding you back.

  
(919): Grab life by the   
horns, buddy.

  
(252): yeah.

  
(252): thanks.

  
(919): Send me a pic of the house  
you choose. I’m curious.

  
(252): will do.

 

 

* * *

 

 

(919): I never got any pictures.   
Surely you found a house?

  
(252): actually, i didn’t

  
(919): What? Why not?

  
(919): You were quiet all day,  
I thought for sure you’d   
struck gold.

  
(252): i looked at a lot   
of houses, but couldn’t   
bring myself to stake   
any of ‘em out.

  
(919): Not what you’re   
looking for, huh? Maybe   
tweak your expectations   
a little. You’ll find one.

  
(252): there were plenty of   
fine ones i looked through.   
i just

  
(252): i dunno.

  
(919): What’s wrong?

  
(252): i don’t think i   
can stay here.

  
(252): this was going   
to be our place.

  
(252): not just mine.

  
(252): it feels like i’m   
following a future that   
isn’t for me

  
(919): But it is for you.

  
(919): That’s a good thing.   
You’re taking steps to make  
yourself happier. This is just   
the next one.

  
(919): It’s what you wanted.   
What you want.

  
(252): i

  
(252): i don’t know what   
i want, link.

  
(919): What

  
(919): What do you mean?

  
(252): being in fayetteville’s   
fucking with my head, is all.

  
(252): can i text you tomorrow?

  
(919): Your phone’s plugged in?  
You’re safe?

  
(252): yes to both.

  
(919): Sure thing then.  
I hope you sleep well.

  
(919): Have a good night,   
Rhett.

  
(252): night babe

  
(252): oh fuck.

  
(252): i

  
(252): you haven’t said   
my name in a long time   
and i

  
(252): old habit?

  
(252): ...shit

  
(252): sorry

 


	45. Log 45

(919): Question.

  
(252): hey

  
(252): yeah...?

  
(919): Did you ever see  
ads online for that straw   
you wear on a necklace  
that lets you drink from any   
water source you want?

  
(919): And it filters it of   
parasites and bacteria?

  
(252): oh. sure. called  
lifestraws. i’ve got one

  
(919): You would. Lol.

  
(919): Does it work?

  
(252): haven’t had to use it yet

  
(252): i manage to find  
plumbing regularly enough

  
(919): Shoot.

  
(919): I was hoping you’d let me  
know if they actually work.   
Always been curious.

  
(252): course they work.

  
(252): they used them in   
like… third world countries.

  
(919): I heard, but it   
sounded too good  
to be true, y’know?

  
(252): you need drinking water?

  
(919): The water in the house   
I was staying in ran brown   
last night during my shower.   
Freaked me out.

  
(252): dang. means the   
pipes were rusted.

  
(252): you didn’t drink any, right?

  
(919): No! Lol. You couldn’t   
pay me enough to drink   
brown water.

  
(252): i figured haha

  
(252): what’s the plan, then?

  
(919): Can’t stay in a house with   
rotting pipes. Movin’ on.

  
(252): you’re leaving wade?

  
(919): Maybe. Whatever feels right.

  
(919): I might head back to Raleigh.

  
(252): i see.

  
(252): you should look at other  
houses in wade before taking off  
like that, i think.

  
(919): Why? Doesn’t matter   
where I go.

  
(919): Hit the road. Take a   
page out of your playbook   
and sing while I walk.   
It’ll be fun.

  
(919): I’m kind of excited, actually.

  
(919): For the first time in a   
while, I’m excited.

  
(252): that’s great.

  
(252): i’m happy for you, man.

  
(252): yeah then, head to raleigh   
if you want.

  
(252): sorry you walked all   
over for nothing… if we   
hadn’t met you never   
would’ve needed to  
make that trek.

  
(919): Ehh. It was worth it.

  
(252): was it?

  
(919): Sure. Good experiences.  
You’re the one who lost   
some fingers.

  
(252): yeah.

  
(919): ...you alright over there?

  
(252): yeah! you’re doing   
good, i’m doing good since   
you’re doing good.

  
(252): everything’s good.

  
(919): Doesn’t have to be, if  
you’re not.

  
(919): I opened up to you.   
You could do the   
same with me.

  
(252): i’m fine.

  
(919): Mm. I don’t think  
you are.

  
(919): You know you  
can tell me anything.   
Right?

  
(252): yeah.

  
(252): thanks.

  
(919): I mean it.  
We’re friends.

  
(252): i know.

  
(252): i’m happy that you’re  
back to your old self.

  
(919): Thanks, Rhett.   
Feels nice.

  
(252): ...sorry i put you  
through a bout of depression.

  
(919): It really wasn’t your fault.   
You were just following what   
you wanted. No apologies are   
ever needed for that.

  
(919): Life is complicated.

  
(252): it is.

  
(919): Alright… I’m off, then.

  
(919): Talk to you later.

  
(252): bye.

 


	46. Log 46

(252): you know what

  
(919): Hey!

  
(919): Just settled down.  
What’s up?

  
(252): i need to talk to you.

  
(252): spent a lot of time  
considering how to handle  
this.

  
(919): Uhh. What?

  
(252): then i remembred  
the time you drank to  
help yourself let go

  
(252): so i found a house with  
a liquor cabinet innit

  
(919): You’re drunk??

  
(252): yes

  
(252): let go physically, for you.  
mentally, for me. make sense?

  
(919): Sure... I follow that.

  
(919): Are you sure you  
wanna drunk text?

  
(252): you offered to listen  
earlier. can you still do like  
that now?

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(919): Yeah, of course.

  
(919): I’m always gonna wanna  
know what’s going on with you.

  
(252): i fucked up, link.

  
(919): What happened??

  
(252): such an idiot

  
(252): where to even start?

  
(252): seeing you so sad

  
(252): or

  
(252): not sad, cause  
depression’s not just  
sadnesss

  
(252): to help you through  
it was one thing

  
(252): i was happy to do it

  
(919): How is that a fuck-up?  
You were amazing,  
watching out for me.

  
(252): that’s not

  
(252): please lemme finish

  
(919): Sorry. Go ahead.

  
(252): but why the fuck,

  
(252): if i assumed i was  
unfit to take care of you

  
(252): did i dump you

  
(252): when i literally couldn’t  
leave you alone the second  
i knew you werein danger??

  
(252): shit.

  
(252): then

  
(252): the other night

  
(252): you opened up

  
(252): and you said you  
still loved me

  
(252): how? the fuck ?

  
(252): cried til i couldn’t  
anymore

  
(252): i mean

  
(252): you said i was fine.  
and that i’d left you behind

  
(252): but you’re the one  
fine and off. not me

  
(252): never me.

  
(252): seeing you happy  
again’s like seein the sun  
rise after weeks of night

  
(252): and you came back  
so bright. brighter than i  
remembered,, oh my god

  
(252): like a moth to a flame

  
(252): fuck me

  
(252): if i wasn’t a total piece  
of shit before, i am now

  
(252): cause i made a choice

  
(252): and it was a mistake

  
(252): it was biggest  
mistke, blue.

  
(252): and i wanna take  
it back.

  
(252): and its not the  
drink talking.

  
(252): i called you babe  
the other night. i know  
you saw it

  
(252): horrifying

  
(252): and some sick, masochistic  
part of me was hoping you’d do  
that thing you used to and ask  
to unwrap tht, ‘what was that  
about’ etc

  
(252): cause then at least we’d  
have had an open dialoguee  
about how sorry i am and how  
fucked this is

  
(252): but you didn’t .

  
(252): and that’s when i knew it  
wasn’t something we were  
ever gonna bounce back from.

  
(252): so now i’m

  
(252): sittin here with whiskey  
wishin i could turn back time  
like evry shitty country song

  
(252): cause even if my head  
is scared shitless of losing you

  
(252): my heart

  
(252): or being

  
(252): or soul or whatever

  
(252): it knows that this is  
so much worse

  
(252): i did these dumb fucking  
mental gymnastics and convinced  
myself that somehow this was best

  
(252): THIS

  
(252): this miserable fuckin existence  
where i’m never goin to meet you  
or hold you or tell you i love you  
in person or be able to call you  
baby again without it being a slip  
of the tongue

  
(252): and it’s because of me?

  
(252): how ??

  
(252): i did this.

  
(252): that’s

  
(252): it’s never gonna  
sink in, link.

  
(252): and it’s irreparable.

  
(252): cause you deserve  
someone who knows what  
to do with the weight in  
their chest

  
(252): who doesn’t run from  
intense feelings because of  
the what ifs

  
(252): and i lost my chance  
to be that someone.

  
(252): i just

  
(252): i needed you to know

  
(252): i’d take it all back so fast

  
(252): god i’d take it back

  
(252): i can’t believe i did this  
to you

  
(252): to us. we were so good

  
(252): you were so good

  
(252): you never stopped  
being so fucking good.

  
(252): my heart hurts and  
i put you through hell and  
i did that. i did this.

  
(252): how could i?

  
(252): i know you arent  
reading anymore at this  
point and i don’t blsme you

  
(252): thrown your phone across  
a field pr something

  
(252): i’m so sorry, link.

  
(919): I’m here.

  
(252): why’ ??

  
(252): get goin

  
(252): back to raleigh

  
(919): No.

  
(252): dump the phne

  
(919): No.

  
(252): tell me how much  
you hate me

  
(252): block my number

  
(919): No.

  
(252): please, link

  
(252): it’ll make it easier

  
(252): if not for yourself,  
then for me

  
(252): you don’t owe me  
anything. in the slightst.  
but please do it as a last  
favor to me. pleaase

  
(919): Are you serious?

  
(252): i really need to  
convince you to leave?!

  
(252): i’m a horrible person  
oh my god

  
(919): That’s not what I meant.

  
(919): You still love me?

  
(252): fuck, yes

  
(252): so much, neal

  
(252): you have no idea

  
(919):

  
(919): Say it.

  
(252): i love you.

  
(252): fuck, i love you.

  
(252): i love you so much.

  
(252): it hurts

  
(252): it needs somewhere  
to go and it can’t

  
(252): my third goddamn  
phantom limb

  
(252): i never stopped  
loving you, even if i  
seemed cold

  
(252): i couldn’t if i tried

  
(252): ...but i didn’t try.

  
(252): i’m so so sorry for  
what i did to us

  
(252): i feel like i shot   
myself in the chest

  
(252): i hate that i’ve created  
a world where i had you and  
i lost you and it was a decision  
i made

  
(252): why would i

  
(252): there aren’t any words.

  
(252): i just

  
(252): i haven’t eaten in days

  
(252): i can’t

  
(919): I love you too.

  
(252): no

  
(252): no no no no no no

  
(252): don’t do that

  
(252): don’t you dare fuckin  
do that

  
(252): i don’t know what  
that is but i cn tell it’s not  
a joke

  
(252): what the fuck

  
(919): I love you.

  
(252): STOP

  
(252): you can’t just

  
(252): be that way

  
(252): that forgiving and

  
(252): and

  
(919): I love you.

  
(252): shit

  
(252): don’t do this

  
(252): please? please

  
(252): for your sake

  
(252): you can do better

  
(252): don’t let me get  
away with this

  
(919): I love you.

  
(252): liar

  
(252): you’re delusipnal if

  
(252): if you think i deserve

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(919): I love you.

  
(252): jesus christ

  
(919): Even through the hurt?

  
(919): I never thought less  
of you. I never hated you.

  
(919): My feelings never  
changed, Rhett.

  
(252): good god, link

  
(252): fuck me

  
(252): i

  
(252): everything you saidd  
the other night hit me so hard

  
(252): like a. freight train

  
(252): when i realized how  
clearly i’d ruined everything

  
(252): gods sake

  
(919): Ruined? No, Rhett.

  
(919): Ruins can’t be put  
back together.

  
(252): holy shit

  
(252): you’re serious

  
(252): link, i

  
(252): i can’t even tell  
you

  
(252): i thought it was  
what i wanted somehow?

  
(919): You believed it would be  
what was best for you.

  
(919): It’s how everyone  
lives their lives.

  
(919): You were grieving.  
People do things they  
normally wouldn’t when  
they mourn.

  
(919): Sometimes things  
they regret.

  
(919): I reminded myself of  
that constantly.

  
(919): I wanted it to be  
the case more than  
anything.

  
(252): you know me better  
than i know me.

  
(252): cause you were right

  
(252): i'm so sorry.

  
(252): the entire damn time  
you were right.

  
(919): You...

  
(919): You’re sure, though?  
About me?

  
(252): link!

  
(252): the most sure i’ve  
been in my entire life

  
(919): I

  
(919): I still want you, too.

  
(919): More than anything.  
That hasn’t changed.

  
(919): But

  
(919): Just...

  
(919): You know I’m not  
a doormat. Right?

  
(252): neal, a pushover?

  
(252): not a snowball’s  
chance in hell.

  
(252): i can’t believe youre  
even speaking to me still

  
(252): i feel like i passed  
out. this must be a dream

  
(919): It’s not. Lol. You  
can read this log again  
tomorrow, when you’re  
sober.

  
(252): i’ll HAVE to

  
(252): fuck

  
(919): Rhett...

  
(919): If we get back into this

  
(919): You should know

  
(919): I couldn’t handle it  
if you left me twice.

  
(252): never

  
(252): oh, my god, never

  
(919): And not in an ‘I’m  
inconsolable’ way.

  
(919): In an ‘I have  
to cut you out of my  
life’ kind of way.

  
(919): Cause at that point,  
it’s about trust.

  
(919): Communication.

  
(252): link, listen to me

  
(252): that isn’t going  
to happen.

  
(252): i never expected this

  
(252): for you to not only  
love me, but still want me

  
(252): not in my wildest  
fuckin dreams

  
(252): i learned my lesson.

  
(252): i learned bout myself.  
about what it means to love  
someone more thsn myself  
and to be okay with that.

  
(252): risks and loss and ups  
and downs and fuckin. all of it

  
(252): you’re positive this is  
what YOU want?

  
(252): you can still back  
out. i wouldn’t blame you

  
(252): cause you gotta be  
absolutely 100%.

  
(252): no doubt from me.

  
(252): no doubt from you, either.

  
(252): once i’m back, that’s it.

  
(252): you’ll have to fight  
me off with a stick if you  
change your mind.

  
(252): you REALLY still wanna  
be with an idiot like me?

  
(919): You’re the one who  
left, dumbnut.

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): fuck hahaha

  
(252): hahahahahaha

  
(919): LOL

  
(252): holy shit.. i missed you

  
(919): You have no idea.

  
(252): i know i seemed  
cold and distant

  
(252): but uh

  
(252): i was a wreck.

  
(252): so i prolly know better  
than you think

  
(919): Lol. That’s fair.

  
(919): ...also feels really good  
to hear. You really did seem  
totally unaffected.

  
(252): bullshit ‘unaffected’

  
(252): good gracious

  
(252): this is really happening?

  
(919): I feel like asking the  
same thing. Maybe we're  
dreaming.

  
(252): i hope i never wake up.

  
(919): Hey, Rhett?

  
(252): what is it, baby?

  
(919): Oh, gosh.

  
(252): ...that feel good?

  
(919): The best.

  
(919): Can I come to  
Fayetteville?

  
(919): I wanna see you.

  
(252): get your ass over here.

 


	47. Log 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the updated tags.

(252): the drink’s wearing off

  
(252): and i know you’re asleep

  
(252): but i wanted you to  
hear it from me sober, too.  
you deserve it.

  
(252): i’m so sorry i hurt you.

  
(252): i can’t begin to tell  
you what your forgiveness  
and love means.

  
(252): i’m yours, link.

  
(252): i love you.

  
(252): irrevocably.

  
(252): and i can’t wait to talk  
to you in the morning.

  
(252): i gotta sleep before  
this headache worsens.

  
(252): i hope you’re having  
good dreams. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): Fuck, Rhett.

  
(919): So last night really  
DID happen. Wow.

  
(252): i know, right?

  
(252): hahaha

  
(919): Whoa wtf

  
(919): How are you awake??

  
(919): You feelin’ okay?

  
(252): drinking past 30 is  
a dangerous game haha

  
(252): so, i can say without  
exaggeration that i’ve never  
been happier

  
(252): best and worst hangover  
of my life hands down

  
(252): i’m the luckiest man in  
the afterworld

  
(252): ...who happened to wake  
up vomiting blood

  
(919): What?!

  
(919): Rhett that’s really serious!!!

  
(252): it’s okay!! i know what  
happened, it’s gonna be okay

  
(919): No?!?

  
(919): Why are you puking  
blood?! Why is it just one  
thing after another with us

  
(252): a side effect of living  
in the world we do

  
(252): i’ve been taking a lot of  
generic painkillers for my back

  
(252): like… more than  
recommended

  
(252): and the whiskey was  
a really poor decision

  
(252): does it help at all if i told  
you i deadass forgot not to  
mix alcohol and pills?

  
(919): No!

  
(919): Shit, Rhett, what  
do you do??

  
(919): I want to help but  
you’re the expert on these  
things, not me

  
(919): What do you do  
in this situation

  
(252): i uh

  
(252): i don’t know this one  
off the top of my head

  
(252): but i think my best  
bet is to drink a lot of water  
and wait for it to pass

  
(919): Good god, Rhett

  
(252): it’s not a lot of blood!

  
(252): just like… maybe enough  
from a little tear in the stomach  
lining maybe?

  
(252): i feel decent otherwise

  
(252): just my stomach

  
(919): What if something  
happens to you? Shit

  
(919): It already DID happen

  
(919): I just got you back...

  
(919): Shit

  
(919): You need a doctor!

  
(252): ain’t no doctors to  
be had

  
(252): calm down, babe. i’m  
gonna be okay

  
(252): the human body is  
stronger than we think it is

  
(252): i’ll just treat it like i’m  
poisoned and i’ll be fine

  
(919): ...shit. Okay.

  
(252): like hell i’m gonna  
die from a torn stomach  
lining NOW

  
(919): Psh.

  
(919): You would have to  
inadvertently hurt yourself  
just to be able to say what’s  
on your mind.

  
(252): you know it, beau

  
(252): liquor is the laxative of  
the emotionally constipated

  
(919): Omg

  
(252): and i took the best crap  
of my life last night

  
(919): LOL STOP

  
(919): Good LORD

  
(252): HAHAHA

  
(919): I missed you. Ya nasty.

  
(252): i missed you too, baby.

  
(252): still can’t believe you  
took me back?? what’s wrong  
with you hahaha

  
(919): I’m human. Sue me.

  
(919): You were surprisingly  
articulate about how remorseful  
you were, considering you  
were drunk.

  
(919): And again, before you  
fell asleep...

  
(252): i’ll do it sober every  
single day if it helps remind  
you how much i love you  
and how stupid i was

  
(919): That’s not necessary.

  
(919): Seriously… let’s not  
linger on it, yeah? I want  
things to be normal again.

  
(919): Well. As normal as  
they can be. Lol.

  
(252): done and done.

  
(252): on the road now?

  
(919): Yeah. It’s hard to believe  
I’m two towns away.

  
(252): oh god

  
(252): i puked again, i got  
so nervous

  
(919): RHETT

  
(252): just kidding!

  
(252): i could though

  
(252): can’t wait

  
(919): Well you’ll have to, while  
I make my way there. Lol.

  
(919): I’m not as fast  
as you, so it’ll be another  
couple of days. Amazing how  
you cover so much ground  
with a bad back.

  
(252): that’s fine

  
(252): after this ‘bug’ passes  
i’m gonna go start finding us  
supplies

  
(252): might be a while though

  
(919): Please lay low, and take  
care of yourself. No hurry.

  
(919): I’m serious. If you need,  
just rest until I’m there to help.

  
(252): if i’m still sick when you  
get here it will be the worst union  
of all time, i refuse

  
(919): I like the spirit, but.  
Seriously.

  
(252): ...fine

  
(252): hey link?

  
(252): have i told you lately  
that i love you?

  
(919): Lol! Yes, actually.  
Believe it or not, you have.

  
(252): can i say it again?

  
(919): Only if you mean it. :)

  
(252): i love you

  
(252): i love you

  
(252): i love you

  
(919): I love you too.

 


	48. Log 48

(252): are you here???

  
(919): No

  
(919): Hide

  
(252): shit

  
(919): Keep talking to me

  
(919): Your phone have a decent  
charge? What do you hear?

  
(252): phone’s good

  
(252): someone’s trying to get  
in through the front door

  
(919): Trying the handle?

  
(252): banging against it,  
jiggling the knob

  
(252): thank god it’s deadbolted

  
(252): none of the windows  
see to the front porch… a  
huge oversight on my part.   
we can’t live here

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(919): You hiding?

  
(252): i’m not sure i need  
to? could just be a survivor  
scouting out the place

  
(919): You should hide just  
in case. Please.

  
(252): if it makes you feel  
better, done.

  
(252): but if they’re armed and  
find me hiding, it might not  
end well

  
(919): You’ll have the element   
of surprise. Use your best   
judgment.

  
(252): gettin in the pantry

  
(252): door’s got panels   
i can see through

  
(919): Think they’re making   
any progress?

  
(252): hard to tell

  
(252): they don’t seem to be  
losing steam though

  
(919): Got Barbara?

  
(252): hey! you remembered  
her name, hahaha

  
(252): of course she’s with   
me dude, contrary to recent   
evidence i’m not stupid

  
(919): Just stay safe. Keep quiet.

  
(252): can i eat something?

  
(252): there’s poprocks and  
a bag of chips in here just   
callin’ my name

  
(252): popcorn and a microwave

  
(919): Gracious. You really   
can’t take anything   
seriously, can you?

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): whoa

  
(252): playtime’s over

  
(252): the door gave

  
(919): What can you hear?

  
(252): nothing

  
(252): they’re quiet

  
(252): wait

  
(252): okay, yeah

  
(252): that telltale hissing

  
(919): Holy shit!

  
(919): A HUNTER broke down   
your front door?!

  
(919): I’ve never heard of one  
being able to do that before,   
what the fuck

  
(252): oh my god it’s happening

  
(919): What???

  
(252): the ‘special’ zombies

  
(919): UHH

  
(252): wait

  
(252): i see him

  
(252): holy crap he’s enormous

  
(919): Like… mutated?

  
(252): no, i don’t think they’ve   
‘evolved’ in any way

  
(252): just like

  
(252): he could’ve been a   
bodyguard or a bouncer in   
life, good lord

  
(919): OKAY

  
(919): THIS IS FINE

  
(919): GIGANTIC CANNIBAL   
CORPSE AFTER MY   
TRAPPED BOYFRIEND

  
(252): i’m still okay, babe

  
(252): he’s headed towards the  
bathroom... weird

  
(252): why did he want in   
so bad?

  
(252): maybe he has   
to pee hahahaha

  
(919): Oh god

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): Your vomit

  
(252): OOOHHHH

  
(252): you’re so smart

  
(252): wow

  
(252): the scent of blood, huh

  
(252): amazing they never  
smelled out my hand, then

  
(919): What if he finds   
you next?

  
(252): i’m gonna kill him while   
he’s investigating

  
(252): we can’t have a hunter like  
this roaming around the town we’re  
gonna live in, link

  
(919): What?! Rhett, no. Just run!

  
(919): I have guns, we can kill him  
when I get there. RUN, while he’s  
distracted

  
(252): sorry neal

  
(252): i ain’t lettin’ this   
thing near you

  
(252): deep breaths, okay?  
have a little faith in me

  
(252): text back soon

  
(919): For fuck’s sake

  
(919): Don’t miss. Please   
don’t miss.

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): good news!   
i didn’t miss

  
(919): Thank gracious

  
(919): You madman.

  
(919): What’s the bad news?

  
(919): If you got bit again,   
I swear to god

  
(252): the bad news is   
now we definitely can’t   
live here hahaha

  
(252): you know how things   
bloat after a while of being   
dead?

  
(919): NOOO

  
(919): GOSH

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): okay. not a scratch on me

  
(252): i’m gonna find a new house  
and take a shower

  
(252): a house with our fireplace

  
(919): Oh god I’m nauseous

  
(252): don’t you throw up, too

  
(919): Happy you’re safe.

  
(252): wouldn’t have done it  
if i wasn’t confident. got shit  
to live for, baby.

 


	49. Log 49

(919): Okay. It’s officially   
cold outside.

  
(252): right?

  
(252): i just got out of the  
shower and it’s awful

  
(252): bundled up in a  
bunch of blankets i found

  
(252): we GOTTA have a  
fireplace

  
(252): like it was just a   
romanticized idea at first  
but i’m starting to think we  
might freeze to death without  
one hahaha

  
(252): how’s your coat   
holding up?

  
(919): It’s a lifesaver.

  
(919): How’s the house-hunting  
been going, speaking of?

  
(252): how many rooms   
you want?

  
(919): We don’t need a   
lot of space.

  
(919): I’d live in a cabin   
with you if we could.

  
(252): YES

  
(252): please

  
(919): LOL

  
(919): Good luck finding one

  
(252): bucket list

  
(252): ugh now this feels   
like a waste of time if it’s   
NOT a cabin

  
(919): Nah. We gotta start   
somewhere. We can move   
whenever we want, too.

  
(252): will we, uhh

  
(252): are we gonna   
share a bed?

  
(919): Why wouldn’t we?

  
(919): Unless you don’t want to.

  
(252): no! i do

  
(252): just wanted to make   
sure we didn’t need more   
than one room

  
(919): You’ve really been watching  
boundaries since we got back   
together, haven’t you?

  
(252): it’s for the best, right?

  
(252): don’t want to make it  
feel like something physical   
was the main motivator for me

  
(919): So you haven’t been   
looking at your screenshots  
since I took you back?   
Or the photo?

  
(919): ...Rhett?

  
(919): LOL

  
(919): Hope it’s fun   
when you do.

  
(252): not as fun as the times  
they came from

  
(252): while we’re on the topic

  
(252): uhh

  
(252): can i ask?

  
(919): You don’t need permission.

  
(252): you wouldn’t have   
happened to have

  
(252): kept the toys  
you got for us?

  
(919): Didn’t really have the   
energy to get rid of them,   
so they’re still with me.

  
(252): well then

  
(252): that’s a nice surprise

  
(919): They don’t take up   
as much space as you   
might assume. Lol.

  
(252): have you tried any of  
them yet?

  
(919): No!

  
(919): Wouldn’t have felt right.

  
(252): not even since we   
patched things up?

  
(919): Nope. You must be more  
pent up than I am, lol.

  
(252): i was just askin’

  
(919): Yep. And I’m sure your  
motivation for asking was totally  
innocent, too.

  
(919): That you aren’t curled up   
half-naked, fishing for images  
of me jacking off inside my  
sleeping bag.

  
(252): …

  
(252): hush, you

  
(919): I’m sure you weren’t   
hoping for a story about   
me fingering myself, free   
hand clamped over my   
mouth so I wouldn’t   
whimper your name   
into the cold night air.

  
(252): holy crap

  
(252): we’re clear that i  
DIDN’T request this, right?

  
(919): Yeah, that’s what   
I’m saying.

  
(919): I’m saying you’d   
hate it if I told you that I   
edged myself for hours to the   
thought of pinning you to  
a couch. Sitting in your lap,   
keeping your lips busy on   
my collarbone, grinding my   
cock against yours through   
denim for so long that we   
have wet spots on   
our jeans.

  
(252): what is happening   
right now

  
(252): i might pass out

  
(919): Repulsive, right?

  
(252): yeah. disgusting.

  
(252): ...keep going.

  
(919): The worst part about   
it though? Is that you can’t  
use your hands. They’re locked   
behind your back in cuffs. Fingers   
digging into the upholstery each   
time I rock down onto you   
because it’s all you can do,   
despite wanting my hips in  
your white-knuckled grip.

  
(919): It’s for the best, though.

  
(919): We both know you   
wouldn’t control your pace   
if I freed your arms.

  
(252): fuck

  
(252): wouldn’t be able to,   
with you, neal. you’ve got   
my number on that

  
(252): i’d try to, for   
what it’s worth

  
(252): heads up, though

  
(252): with my hands restrained  
i’m likely to get my teeth on that  
pretty neck of yours

  
(252): bite and suck some   
of the most gorgeous noises   
out of you.

  
(252): would you like   
that, blue?

  
(252): follow each nip   
with a kiss

  
(252): can’t let you forget   
what a treasure you are.

  
(252): babe?

  
(252): i’m sorry if you’re not into  
biting. i thought you might like it?

  
(252): ...link?

  
(919): Hey

  
(919): Sorry

  
(919): Uhh

  
(919): Something happened

  
(252): are you okay??

  
(919): I… I think so?

  
(919): My ex husband   
just called me.

 


	50. Log 50

(252): holy shit, what?!

  
(252): did you answer??

  
(919): I did

  
(252): oh

  
(252): wow.

  
(252): okay

  
(919): I’m sorry, Rhett. I   
know we were in the   
middle of something.

  
(919): I just

  
(919): I thought it was you  
calling, but when I saw   
his name I panicked   
and just…

  
(919): Answered.

  
(252): it’s really okay, blue.

  
(252): i get it

  
(252): not very often you   
get a call from someone   
you know

  
(252): ...your ex though? really?

  
(919): Yeah. Wild, right?

  
(252): what did you talk about?

  
(919): He sounded amazed   
that I picked up. Scared,   
almost. Like he was   
talking to a ghost.

  
(919): Told me he was  
lonely. Got nostalgic and  
tried calling everyone in  
his contacts. I was the  
first person to actually  
pick up.

  
(919): Then he babbled a lot   
and then said he was   
thrilled to hear my   
voice.

  
(252): that’s all?

  
(919): He also

  
(919): He said he wanted   
to meet up.

  
(252): he wants to see you?

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(252): why??

  
(919): He said he misses me.

  
(919): I think he’s feeling lost.  
Like you were, before we met.

  
(252): mmm

  
(919): Rhett, I’m not going   
to see him.

  
(252): i mean

  
(252): it’s okay if you do?

  
(252): you remember what he  
did.

  
(252): you’re armed. you can  
defend yourself.

  
(252): i trust you. yeah?

  
(919): An invitation to go   
see him… Christ.

  
(919): That’s a lot to unpackage.

  
(919): You know I’d never do  
anything with him even if he  
tried to start something.   
Right?

  
(252): i know, blue.

  
(252): what’d you tell him?

  
(919): I, uhh

  
(919): I’ve never been good   
at being brutally honest   
with people, so I told   
him I’d think about it?

  
(252): safe answer.

  
(252): what’s his name?

  
(919): Max.

  
(252): where is he?

  
(919): Would you believe he’s in   
Fort Bragg? So close.

  
(252): no shit!

  
(252): i was a contracting  
consultant for fort bragg’s   
infrastructure. spent years   
looking over their blueprints.   
smart place to hunker down in

  
(252): it IS really close.

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(919): I’d have to bypass   
Fayetteville, though.

  
(252): babe… if you want  
to, you should go see him.

  
(919): Why are you…?

  
(919): You told me once that  
you would’ve murdered him   
if you knew him. You wished   
he was dead, or infected.

  
(919): You seem weirdly into   
the idea. Why are you being   
so supportive?

  
(252): i know i was an   
asshole about this before,   
but

  
(252): someone from your old  
life is alive.

  
(252): that’s so rare.

  
(252): i’d give anything just  
to see my old coworkers  
again, stupid as that sounds.

  
(252): and it’s not like you’re  
the same person you were  
when you married him. you  
know what he’s done now.

  
(252): but maybe he’s not the  
same person he was, either?

  
(252): being alone in this…

  
(252): it’s hell. we both know that.

  
(252): i’m not saying he   
deserves anything from  
you

  
(252): at all.

  
(252): but to be totally   
alone? here? i wouldn’t   
wish that on my worst   
enemy

  
(252): which, if i had one...  
he’d be it, i guess.

  
(919): ...shit.

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(919): You sure you aren’t just  
overcompensating for some   
intense secret jealousy?

  
(252): i mean

  
(252): i wouldn’t say i’m   
HAPPY about the idea of  
you going to see him, but

  
(252): if you wanted to, i’d  
support your decision.

  
(919): Wow.

  
(919): I don’t want to have to  
make this choice.

  
(919): Let’s see.

  
(919): Go to Fayetteville -   
which is closer, where my   
boyfriend is - or go to see   
my ex husband in Fort   
Bragg. Out of kindness  
he really doesn’t deserve.

  
(252): no one’s gonna make  
you do anything you don’t  
want to, babe. you don’t owe  
him anything.

  
(252): you told him you’d   
think about it, so why don’t   
you?

  
(252): you can sleep on it.

  
(919): Yeah

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(919): That’s a good idea.

  
(919): I really am sorry it   
interrupted things… I   
was having fun.

  
(252): not your fault

  
(252): though i do hope it goes  
without saying that i am no  
longer in the mood.

  
(919): No, yeah. Me neither.

  
(919): We’ll pick it back   
up soon. Promise.

  
(919): Shit.

  
(919): I should just head   
into Fayetteville. You’re   
RIGHT THERE. Why am   
I even entertaining the   
thought of meeting with   
him?!

  
(252): you’ve always been  
this way, hahaha

  
(252): always putting others  
before yourself. always.

  
(252): listen though

  
(252): if you do decide  
to go, you gotta do it before  
you come to me. okay?

  
(919): What?

  
(919): Why?

  
(252): cause once you’re here,  
i really, really won’t want you  
to leave.

  
(919): You could come with me.

  
(252): babe…

  
(252): that sounds

  
(252): i dunno. even riskier?   
not just for you, but for   
him, too. i still don't  
like the guy.

  
(252): if you really want me to,  
i will. but he’s asking for you

  
(252): he was in your life first.

  
(252): can’t imagine he’d be   
happy when your reunion is a  
threeunion

  
(919): ...Shit.

  
(919): You’re right. Sorry.

  
(252): don’t apologize for   
wanting to feel secure!  
you’re fine

  
(252): i really will go with  
you if you want. if you  
decide to make the trip

  
(252): but you’re stronger   
than you think you are

  
(252): you know?

  
(252): promise me one thing,  
though, if you do go

  
(919): Don’t get drunk?

  
(252): ooooh that’s a good one

  
(252): you ARE a slutty   
drunk hahaha

  
(919): LOL shut up!

  
(919): Rhett, I just meant   
Because of awareness and

  
(919): Even drunk, I wouldn’t

  
(252): i know, hahaha

  
(252): don’t drink, is the new  
first promise

  
(252): and the second

  
(252): if he so much   
as lays a hand on you?

  
(252): shoot his arm off.

 


	51. Log 51

(252): early morning joke tiiiime

  
(252): a guy comes across  
another guy standing in an  
outhouse, throwing his  
money down the hole

  
(252): he says, ‘what are  
you doing?’

  
(252): the other responds,  
‘i dropped a dollar down  
there earlier’

  
(252): ‘yeah, so?’

  
(252): ‘like hell i’m goin' down  
there for just a dollar!’

 

* * *

 

 

  
(919): LOL

  
(919): Why are all of our jokes  
so freakin’ stupid?!

  
(252): YOU LAUGHED

  
(919): I did! I guess that means  
my sense of humor is  
stupid, too.

  
(252): better than dirty jokes.  
i always thought they were such...

  
(252): low hanging fruit.

  
(919): …

  
(919): Good lord

  
(252): HAHAHA

  
(252): that wasn’t even planned,  
it just worked out well

  
(919): Hey, Rhett?

  
(252): what’s up baby?

  
(919): I love you.

  
(252): i love you too, link.

  
(252): you got a reason for  
saying it out of the blue? haha

  
(919): I’m just really grateful  
to have you. I’ve said it before,  
but you always balance me  
out so perfectly.

  
(919): I thought about everything  
you said last night.

  
(919): I’m gonna go see Max.

  
(252): well alright then

  
(252): sounds like a plan

  
(919): I’m armed. He used  
to be really important in  
my life. And what are the  
chances that he would’ve  
survived this long if he  
were still taking pills?

  
(252): see? you’ve got this.

  
(919): The fact that I’m with  
someone who’s stable and  
secure enough to trust me  
to go see my ex husband...

  
(919): I just think about how  
rare that’s gotta be. And  
I’m really, really lucky to  
have you on my team.

  
(252): well shoot, nugget

  
(252): makin’ me emotional  
over here

  
(919): I’m with you. Okay?

  
(919): He couldn’t say or do  
anything to change that.

  
(252): i know. you’re somethin’  
else, neal.

  
(919): Okay then. I’m  
heading out.

  
(919): I feel crazy for doin’  
this instead of coming to you.  
Am I crazy?

  
(252): nah. i still gotta  
find a house good enough  
for us, and this will give me  
the time to do that

  
(919): Okay.

  
(919): As long as I have  
the phone, it’s like you’re  
traveling with me, anyway.

  
(919): I can already tell I’ll  
miss the texts once we  
meet. Lol.

  
(252): what makes you think  
i’m gonna stop texting you just  
cause we’ll be livin’ together?

  
(919): ...common sense?

  
(252): nah, son

  
(252): i’m gonna text you  
from across the dinner table

  
(252): from the other room

  
(252): from the toilet

  
(919): Oh boy.

  
(252): gotta keep the romance  
alive, know what i’m sayin’?

  
(919): Lol. I can’t wait. :)

 

 

* * *

 

 

(919): So many people have  
come and gone.

  
(919): Their faces fade as the  
years go by.

  
(252): whoa

  
(252): you okay, blue?

  
(919): Yet I still recall, as  
I wander on.

  
(919): As clear as the sun in  
the summer skyyyy.

  
(252): OH

  
(252): NYEEEER

  
(252): NYEER NYEER  
NYEER

  
(252): NYEER NYEER NYER  
NYERRRRR NERRRRRRR

  
(919): IT’S MORE THAN A FEELIIIING

  
(252): MORE THAN A FEELING

  
(919): WHEN I HEAR THAT OLD  
SONG THEY USED TO PLAY

  
(252): I BEGIN DREAMIIIIN’

  
(252): (i begin dreamiiin)

  
(919): TIL I SEE MARY ANN  
WALK AWAAAAAAAY

  
(252): truly flawless.

  
(252): thank you for including me

  
(919): I’m dyin’

  
(919): ‘nyeer’

  
(919): What kind of air  
guitar are you playing  
over there omg

  
(252): you love it

  
(919): I do

  
(919): My sides hurt

 

* * *

 

 

  
(919): You wanna play  
20 questions?

  
(252): oh my god

  
(252): YES i love that game

  
(252): okay, i’ve got something

  
(919): I was gonna go first!

  
(919): I’m the one who asked  
to play, you jerk. Lol.

  
(252): too slow, spaghetti-o

  
(252): c’mon, hit me

  
(919): Ugh

  
(919): Is it a person?

  
(252): nope

  
(919): Is it a place?

  
(252): no

  
(919): Is it a thing?

  
(252): yes

  
(919): Is it one thing,  
or are there many  
of them?

  
(252): that’s not a yes or  
no question!

  
(919): There’s not just one of  
them on earth?

  
(252): oh. no.

  
(919): So they can come  
in groups, or they can  
come alone. Kinda like  
eggs?

  
(252): technically, yes.

  
(919): Is it inanimate?

  
(252): yep.

  
(919): Can you hold it  
in one hand?

  
(252): yes

  
(919): Can you hold it  
in one finger?

  
(252): if you balance it.

  
(919): Can you swallow it  
if dared?

  
(252): yes. eww.

  
(919): ‘Eww.’ Hmm.

  
(919): Does it have a use?

  
(252): it did.

  
(919): Huh.

  
(919): Can I purchase it at  
a store?

  
(252): no.

  
(919): Is it very common?

  
(252): i should hope not

  
(252): what a nightmare

  
(919): Do you have one  
with you?

  
(252): not anymore.

  
(919): What…?

  
(919): If you’re thinking of  
poop, I’m blocking you.

  
(252): HAHAHA

  
(252): it’s not poop

  
(919): Does it grow?  
Over time?

  
(252): no

  
(919): You have more than one  
of these things, I hope? Lol.  
If you lost it that sounds bad.

  
(252): i mean

  
(252): i don’t have any  
of these on my person.

  
(919): What???

  
(919): I’m so confused

  
(252): i didn’t realize this was  
such a good one haha

  
(252): i thought for sure  
you had me earlier hahaha

  
(919): Could I remove it  
with something from a  
drugstore?

  
(252): someone beat ya  
to that

  
(919): …oh my god.

  
(919): Is it your two  
missing fingers?

  
(252): MY LOPPED-OFF  
FINGERS

  
(252): YAAAY

  
(919): Good lord.

  
(252): hey, if i don’t get  
to cope using humor, i  
don’t cope at all, okay?

  
(252): what else are those  
shriveled-dog-treats-in-a-  
trash-can-somewhere  
good for now?

  
(919): NO LOL

  
(919): Ridiculous, Rhett omg

  
(252): hahahaha ahh

  
(252): that was amazing

  
(252): okay, your turn

  
(919): No. I don’t wanna play  
anymore.

  
(252): WHAT why??

  
(919): Just one game was  
enough for me. You took the  
piss outta me.

  
(252): boooo.

  
(919): Plus I really shouldn’t  
be devoting that much brain  
power to a game while I’m  
walking. Lol.

  
(919): Sorry.

  
(252): dang. when you’re right,  
you’re right.

  
(252): how’s the walk?  
you feel good?

  
(919): I feel great. I might sing.

  
(252): learn from my mistakes  
and don’t. haha

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): i just realized, i  
never told you

  
(919): What’s that?

  
(252): you remember the  
dog tag i had engraved for  
charlie?

  
(919): Of course, love.

  
(252): i’ve been wearing it  
since she died.

  
(252): found a chain for it,  
it’s around my neck

  
(919): Aww. Rhett, that’s really  
sweet. Now she’ll always  
be with you.

  
(252): yeah.

  
(252): here, lemme show  
you... one sec

  
(252): [image file 0071.jpg]

  
(919): Holy crap

  
(252): tacky?

  
(252): i knew i shouldn’t  
have gone with the bone  
shaped one but i just  
couldn’t resist

  
(919): No.

  
(919): Rhett... you’re stunning.

  
(919): Like

  
(919): Ridiculously handsome.

  
(252): what?! c’mon man

  
(252): no

  
(919): Only, yeah, you are.

  
(919): Wow.

  
(252): i’m filthy and need a trim  
and my lips are chapped

  
(919): You, uhh

  
(919): You wear the whole  
‘wastelander’ aesthetic unfairly  
well. You look like you were  
made for it.

  
(919): Like you’re on the set of  
a movie.

  
(919): Are we really together

  
(919): Teenage me would  
NOT be able to process  
that information if he saw  
this picture, holy shit

  
(252): I JUST WANTED  
YOU TO SEE THE DOG  
TAG, NEAL

  
(252): IT’S A NECKLACE,  
ISN’T IT CUTE

  
(919): LOOK AT YOUR FACE

  
(919): I knew the photos I  
had of you were dated but  
for fuck’s sake

  
(919): I could’ve had  
selfies like THIS one  
rolling in?!

  
(919): I mean

  
(919): Who has a glow-up in  
the apocalypse?!

  
(919): Rhett James McLaughlin  
apparently

  
(252): i’m

  
(252): STOP

  
(919): If this is what comes  
with poor hygiene… man,  
I gotta reconsider how  
dirty I’m willing to let  
you get. Phew.

  
(919): I SEXTED WITH  
THIS MAN

  
(252): oh gosh

  
(919): I GET TO SUCK  
HIS DICK

  
(919): TURNIN’ AROUND NOW

  
(252): HAHAHA

  
(252): noooo. stop. don’t.  
what ever will i do.

  
(919): LOL

  
(919): Seriously, good god

  
(919): Good luck getting me  
off my knees while I’m  
around you.

  
(252): DIGNITY, NEAL

  
(252): i didn’t send that so  
you’d be all hot and bothered  
when you strolled up to Max’s  
place, oh my god

  
(919): LOL. I can see why you  
like getting me all flustered.  
It’s fun.

  
(252): it is!

  
(252): uhh

  
(252): i’m really glad you  
think i look good though

  
(252): i was kinda worried  
about that

  
(919): You were?

  
(252): yeah

  
(252): i think i was afraid i  
wouldn’t really be your type if  
you saw what i looked like now

  
(252): i don’t know what gay  
men think is attractive

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(919): I’m so sorry to break it  
to you, but you’re gay too.

  
(919): At least a little.

  
(252): ...i guess i am, huh

  
(919): Surprise. Gay men don’t  
come in one flavor.

  
(252): is linksexual a thing?

  
(919): LOL uhh

  
(252): cause that’s me, then

  
(919): Lookin’ at your selfie  
and then reading that text is  
too much for my brain

  
(919): I need a breather

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): love you, dinkus

  
(919): Love you too, Rhett.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gorgeous fanart of the selfie Rhett sent, by Jamie! [[x](https://parts-to-discover.tumblr.com/post/182966859893/you-have-1-new-message-for-its-mike-kapufty)]


	52. Log 52

(252): hey i’ve got another  
hypothetical for you

  
(919): Oh, geeze.

  
(919): You know I’m not   
good at these.

  
(252): just say whatever  
feels right, okay? easy

  
(252): what ring size are you?

  
(919): ...what

  
(252): just hypothetically

  
(252): if you wore a ring, what  
size would you need

  
(919): Why

  
(252): isn’t it obvious?

  
(252): rings are the   
up-and-coming form   
of finger armor

  
(252): endorsed by me

  
(252): three-finger mclaughlin

  
(919): LOL you asshole

  
(919): What game are you  
playing right now? Seriously

  
(252): sometimes i play  
snake on the phone.

  
(252): it’s no fruit ninja,  
but it doesn’t drain the  
battery.

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(252): well i was thinking

  
(252): about how, if you wore  
a ring i got for you, it would  
fend off advances from other  
people who find you as rightly  
lovable and attractive as i do

  
(252): you know

  
(252): as a way to let people  
know you’re taken

  
(919): Rhett.

  
(919): You’re describing a   
wedding ring.

  
(252): or an engagement ring

  
(252): you remember

  
(252): that i told you that   
life is shorter than ever?

  
(919): Yeah. Then you   
dumped me.

  
(252): my incredibly shitty lapse  
in judgment does not invalidate  
the previous statement

  
(919): Love... Is this because   
I’m going to see Max?

  
(252): ...no

  
(252): that might be why i  
STARTED thinking about it,  
but that’s not my motivation  
for asking

  
(252): is it too much?

  
(919): Not necessarily, but

  
(919): I think you overestimate   
how close I’d let someone   
get to me without gushing   
about you. Lol.

  
(919): You really don’t   
need to worry.

  
(252): ...okay.

  
(252): you ARE wearing my  
sweater, after all. which is a  
good third option.

  
(919): Third?

  
(919): What was the second?

  
(252): like hell i won’t be   
leaving hickeys on your neck   
after we meet

  
(252): you can’t do NOTHIN to  
stop that one from happening

  
(919): Omg

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): better find yourself some  
turtlenecks

  
(919): I’d rather show ‘em off  
than wear a turtleneck. Yikes.

  
(919): Just to be clear

  
(919): I wasn’t trying to stop   
your ring idea

  
(919): I just… I dunno

  
(252): it’s okay, babe

  
(252): i know what you mean

  
(252): i was trying to gauge your  
reaction and i got what i needed

  
(919): That

  
(919): Sounds bad

  
(919): I was a dick

  
(252): no way! you’re fine

  
(252): don’t gotta broadcast  
partnership to be together

  
(919): But

  
(252): someday, maybe?   
i thought it sounded nice,  
is all

  
(919): ...Yeah.

  
(919): Yeah.

 

 

* * *

  

  
(919): Not much longer now.   
I keep seeing signs   
for Fort Bragg.

  
(252): the place is massive.

  
(252): it’s the biggest military  
facility in the world.

  
(919): Holy shit, really??

  
(919): How am I gonna find Max  
in a place like that omg

  
(252): just keep in contact, babe

  
(252): if nothing else, i can help   
you navigate. i remember what   
the compound looks like from  
my time working on it

  
(252): i’m sure he won’t   
let you get lost, though

  
(252): have you been texting   
with him at all?

  
(919): Just small updates. He tried  
to call again last night but I didn’t  
want to talk. So we’re just texting  
back and forth a little.

  
(919): Keeps asking for   
location updates.

  
(252): sounds like us...

  
(252): you think he’s excited to  
see you?

  
(919): Yeah, I do.

  
(919): He keeps saying how   
amazing it is that I’m still   
alive. He can’t believe it.  
He’s ecstatic.

  
(252): well that’s rude hahaha

  
(252): you’re a force to be  
reckoned with

  
(252): be sure to memorize the  
look on his face when you stroll  
in with guns strapped to you

  
(919): Lol! I’ll try. It’ll be funny,   
for sure.

  
(919): Would be better if   
my rugged, axe-wielding,   
guitar-toting boyfriend  
walked in with me.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): maybe next time i’ll  
join you

  
(252): that way i’ll be able to  
see the look on his face, too

  
(919): I’d love that.

  
(252): how long were y’all  
together?

  
(919): Together, or married?

  
(252): both?

  
(919): Together six years,   
married four.

  
(252): wow

  
(252): i feel inadequate HAHA

  
(919): Well you were with Cassie  
for like, five… right?

  
(252): yeah, but

  
(252): idk, we were just   
comfortable i think.   
complacent

  
(252): neither of us had ever  
considered tying the knot  
together

  
(919): Marriage isn’t for everyone.  
Max and I shouldn’t have married,  
for instance. Yet we did.

  
(252): is he handsome?

  
(919): I mean

  
(919): What do you want me to say?

  
(919): Yeah, he’s good-looking.

  
(919): Nothing like you, though.

  
(252): i was just curious

  
(252): nothing like me?

  
(919): Nah. He had shoulder-length  
brown hair when we got together.  
Blonde highlights. Brown eyes.

  
(919): I doubt his hair will still look  
like that though.

  
(252): ...i am envisioning   
a surfer

  
(919): LOL. Not quite.

  
(252): is he tall?

  
(919): Rhett. Don’t compare   
yourself to him, okay? I’ll   
field this one last question,   
then we’re done.

  
(919): I was taller than him.

  
(252): i’m just curious!

  
(252): fine though

  
(252): ...take a pic of him

  
(919): No!

  
(252): i gotta know how  
long to grow my hair out   
for maximum attraction!

  
(919): LOL NO

  
(919): I’m PLENTY attracted   
to you. Did you already   
forget the selfie you sent?   
Jesus.

  
(919): Don’t make it a contest.   
So awkward.

  
(252): fine

  
(252): i’d win though

  
(919): You already did, love.

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): guess what i just found?

  
(919): What’s that?

  
(252): a cabin!!!

  
(919): What?! How

  
(252): it’s off the south side of  
town, at the end of a gravel road

  
(252): i had a gut feeling, so  
i followed it, and TAH-DAH

  
(252): [image file 0072.jpg]

  
(919): Holy crap.

  
(919): It’s perfect.

  
(919): So quaint.

  
(252): you like it?

  
(919): Yes! I can’t believe you  
scoped out a cabin for us!

  
(252): after you planted that  
idea in my head, i couldn’t  
settle for anything else

  
(252): it’s got everything we  
need. just enough space, at  
the top of a hill so we can keep  
look-out. a king bed in the master

  
(919): That’s amazing! Thank you  
for finding it for us, love.

  
(919): I’m so excited, haha

  
(252): i’m stoked that   
you like it

  
(252): home sweet home

  
(252): OH, and guess what

  
(919): I’m guessing it’s got  
something amazing?

  
(252): HOT TUB

  
(252): i mean, it’ll be hard  
to maintain and probably   
won’t be usable once we  
run out of treatment  
chemicals, but until then

  
(252): MY BACK IS SAVED

  
(919): LMAO

  
(919): That’s NOT why I thought  
you were excited for us to have  
a hot tub, omg

  
(919): I feel like a pervert

  
(252): well i mean

  
(252): that aspect too,   
obviously

  
(252): sorry hahaha

  
(919): You’re good. Don’t wait  
for me! Get in there and relax.

  
(919): With Barbara.

  
(919): And don’t get your hands  
wet, just in case you need to use  
her. A dry grip would be safer.

  
(252): you really do think of  
everything, don’t you?

  
(252): maybe i’ll slip in tonight

  
(252): for now i gotta secure  
everything. lots of work ahead  
before you arrive.

  
(919): Well… try to have fun.

  
(919): I can help when I get there.

  
(252): i’ll have fun! using  
your hands is always really  
fulfilling. lookin’ forward to it

  
(919): Best get to it   
then, McLaughlin.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): yessir

 


	53. Log 53

(919): This giant sign is   
kinda unnerving.

  
(252): good morning!

  
(252): you there?

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(919): ‘Fort Bragg. Home of   
The Airborne and Special   
Forces Operation.’

  
(919): Now that I’m here…   
I’m really nervous.

  
(252): dig deep, babe

  
(252): you’ve got this.

  
(252): keep your handgun  
at the ready, yeah?

  
(919): Already got it.

  
(919): Okay… he’s texting me to  
tell me how to get find him.

  
(919): It's so peaceful here.  
Feels weird. Like a ghost   
town.

  
(919): There are so   
many buildings.

  
(919): They all look the same.

  
(252): i know. it can   
be disorienting

  
(919): Well. No point standing   
around.

  
(919): I’ll text you after, yeah?   
Won’t be staying long.   
An hour at most.

  
(252): do me a favor   
before you go

  
(919): Yeah?

  
(252): forward me max’s number?

  
(252): i won’t use it unless   
i have to, but having it will   
make me feel better

  
(919): Sure. That’s a good idea.

  
(919): [contact file: Max Lagrange]

  
(919): ...thanks for thinking of   
everything. Lol.

  
(252): no problem, babe.

  
(252): keep your wits about you.

  
(252): i love you.

  
(919): I love you too.

  
(919): Here goes nothing.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(252): my hands… are so sore haha

  
(252): boarding up windows   
is tough work. should’ve waited   
until you were here to help

  
(252): they’ll work for now though

  
(252): large enough gaps to stick  
a gun barrel through

  
(252): the fireplace needs to be  
cleaned next

  
(252): THAT’S gonna be an effort

  
(252): maybe if i find some ratty  
old clothes i can just get up in  
there and do some jumping jacks  
hahaha

  
(252): i’m tall enough. it could work

  
(252): sorry i’m texting during   
y’alls reunion. rude of me

  
(252): okay, i’m gone

 

 

* * *

 

 

(252): hmm

  
(252): it’s been an hour and a  
half

  
(252): i’m not trying to be a  
helicopter boyfriend but

  
(252): i’m sure you’re fine.

  
(252): if you don’t respond by  
sunset, i’m gonna text max.

  
(252): fair warning.

  
(252): ...how am i supposed to  
sit still when i don’t know what’s  
happening with you?

  
(252): doesn’t feel right.

  
(252): you’re fine though.

  
(252): two guns, clever head on  
your shoulders. yeah

  
(252): you’re fine

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
(252): okay.

  
(252): something isn’t right.

  
(252): PLEASE respond.

  
(252): it’s been three hours.

  
(252): link, please.

  
(252): i need to check your  
phone battery... calling now

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
(252): shit

  
(252): it didn’t go to voicemail

  
(252): why aren’t you answering???

  
(252): every single fiber of my  
person is telling me you’re not  
okay

  
(252): if you were here

  
(252): you’d tell me to trust that

  
(252): okay

  
(252): shit. okay

  
(252): please be alright.

  
(252): texting max now

 


	54. Log A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated. Take care of yourself--this chapter's dark.

(252): max.

  
(910): Oh, shit.

  
(910): Rett, i’m guessing?

  
(252): where’s link?

  
(910): Look dude

  
(910): I’m real sorry.

  
(252): where is he?

  
(910): He’s here.

  
(252): why isn’t he answering  
the phone?

  
(252): what the hell is   
going on, man?

  
(910): They took his phone.

  
(252): wh

  
(252): who is ‘they’

  
(910): If it makes you feel   
any better, I never wanted it   
to be Link.

  
(252): what do you mean

  
(252): who is they?!

  
(252): what the fuck did   
you do to him max

  
(910): I didn’t do anything.

  
(910): They needed a body

  
(910): I wish it didn’t have to  
be Link’s. I always liked him

  
(910): He’s a good guy.

  
(910): Kind. Selfless.

  
(910): Trusting.

  
(252): you’d better start making  
sense REAL fuckin soon

  
(252): ‘a body.’ for what?

  
(910): It’s just the business.  
You know? Nothing personal.

  
(910): Shit ain’t the same  
as it used to be. Supply   
and demand.

  
(910): If I want a cut of   
that next shipment?

  
(910): I got to contribute.

  
(252): you

  
(252): you traded him…?

  
(910): That’s a nice way  
to put it. Yeah.

  
(252): for what

  
(910): H, baby.

  
(910): Biggest ring left in NC.

  
(910): You wanna come   
over, too?

  
(910): Link kept talkin bout how  
pretty you were before they  
jumped him.

  
(910): Bet you’d fetch a   
nice price as well.

  
(252): you sick fuck.

  
(252): jesus christ

  
(252): max

  
(252): you loved him

  
(252): you loved him too,   
once

  
(910): Wasn’t anything personal,  
like I said. He was just next in  
my contacts.

  
(910): Never thought I’d hear  
from you though.

  
(910): Smart man, getting  
my number.

  
(252): how many people are  
in your operation?

  
(910): ‘My’ operation, hahaha

  
(910): I ain’t doin’ this   
cause I want to.

  
(910): The highs are nice, but

  
(910): They keep me here.

  
(910): If I don’t bring in people,  
they’ll put me up for trade.

  
(910): Just watchin my ass.  
You know how it is.

  
(252): wait.

  
(252): you’re captive, too?

  
(910): I prefer ‘involuntarily  
employed’.

  
(252): max.

  
(252): you’ll be doing  
their dirty work until you die.

  
(252): which, if you don’t get  
clean, is going to be way sooner  
than you assume.

  
(252): all of the people who  
trusted you, and whom you   
betrayed

  
(252): there’s no way they  
live for long after you trade  
them off.

  
(252): so all of the souls of the  
bodies you’ve sold?

  
(252): they’ll be waiting for   
you in hell.

  
(910): Easy there, preacher man

  
(910): Ain’t no getting   
out of this.

  
(910): My hands are tied. Yea?

  
(910): Look, if it makes you  
feel any better, I might be able  
to get Link’s phone back to him

  
(910): HIS hands aren’t   
tied, anyway. hehe

  
(910): Just in a holding room   
til the auction tomorrow   
morning.

  
(910): That face

  
(910): Those eyes

  
(910): Those lips...

  
(910): He’s gonna bring in so   
much fuckin powder.

  
(252): listen, max.

  
(252): you seem like  
a clever guy. know how  
to listen to reason, right?

  
(252): let’s cut a deal.

  
(252): i can get you   
out of there.

  
(252): i know that compound   
like the back of my hand.   
worked on its upkeep as   
an engineer.

  
(252): but in exchange,   
you’ve got to get link his   
phone back.

  
(252): let me worry about   
link after that.

  
(252): you can steal pills  
from pharmacies once   
you’re free. still get your   
fix without fuckin' trafficking   
on the side.

  
(252): i think that’s more   
than fair a deal.

  
(252): especially considering how  
i SHOULD be on my way to relieve  
your neck of your head right now.

  
(910): The fuck.

  
(910): You serious?

  
(252): absolutely.

  
(252): you were special to link.

  
(252): he wouldn’t want you living  
like this. i know that much.

  
(252): you owe it to yourself  
not to be anyone’s slave.

  
(252): so

  
(252): since link cared about  
you at one point

  
(252): i’m willing to do this.

  
(252): for him.

  
(910): Shit, dude

  
(910): ...you don’t know how  
heavily guarded this place is

  
(252): you're right. i don’t.

  
(252): but you do.

  
(252): i bet with my help,  
you could slip away unnoticed.

  
(252): IF you can get link his  
phone back.

  
(910): Fuck, man

  
(910): Look

  
(910): No promises, alright?

  
(910): If they see he’s   
got his phone on him   
again, they’ll beat him   
black and blue. Price’ll   
drop, so the assholes’ll   
beat him again just for   
that. Dumb bastards.

  
(910): You wanna run that risk?

  
(252): ...fuck.

  
(252): i'll have to.  
  
  
(252): you in this or not?

  
(910): Shit.

  
(910): Okay

  
(910): Damn, dude

  
(910): Link wasn’t lying

  
(910): You really are   
a good guy

  
(910): Can’t believe you’re   
willing to help me

  
(252): i’m not doing it for you.

  
(252): okay...

  
(252): be smart about getting   
his phone back to him.

  
(252): do it while you’re sober.

  
(910): Sober right now, asshole

  
(910): Give me some time

  
(910): Text ya tonight

  
(910): Then you’ll get   
me out of here?

  
(252): if i hear from link?  
you have my word.

  
(910): Sweet

 


	55. Log 54

(919): Rhett

  
(252): link, listen.

  
(252): you gotta respond  
to these next questions in  
ten seconds or less so  
i know it’s you.

  
(919): Okay

  
(252): who’s our favorite singer?

  
(919): Merle Haggard

  
(252): what was our dog’s name?

  
(919): Charlie

  
(919): German shepherd mix

  
(252): where’s my house?

  
(919): Buies Creek

  
(252): Fuck, Link!!

  
(919): I know

  
(252): i’m so, so glad  
you’re alive. i can’t even

  
(252): you have no idea

  
(252): i thought for sure

  
(252): shit no time for this

  
(252): did they hurt you?

  
(919): I’m so sorry

  
(919): Such an idiot

  
(252): no. absolutely not.  
none of that.

  
(252): are you okay?

  
(919): Bruised but fine

  
(919): In a holding room

  
(919): Alone

  
(252): is the door locked?

  
(919): No

  
(919): Guarded outside though

  
(919): They took everything

  
(919): My guns, my bag

  
(252): do you know where  
they put them?

  
(919): Table, outside

  
(252): okay, listen to me.

  
(252): it’s almost midnight.

  
(252): i’m going to get you  
out of there.

  
(919): Rhett, no

  
(919): Stay away

  
(919): There’s dozens of them

  
(919): They’ll take you too

  
(919): Just let this happen

  
(919): I can text you from  
wherever I end up

  
(919): We’ve been apart this long

  
(919): I just hope I don’t end  
up somewhere too far away

  
(919): Or

  
(919): Or in a basement

  
(252): i’m not gonna fucking let  
that happen. no chance in hell.

  
(252): you have to blindly trust  
me on this. i’m going to get  
you out.

  
(252): everything’s going to  
be okay. i just need you to hold  
tight and stay on your toes. okay?

  
(919): Okay

  
(252): keep your phone hidden,  
and be ready to move at a  
moment’s notice.

  
(919): Okay

  
(919): I can do that

  
(252): i believe in you.

  
(919): I killed one of them, Rhett

  
(919): Shot him in the head

  
(252): good. no remorse.

  
(252): i love you. so much.  
i love you, link neal.

  
(919): I love you more

  
(252): okay

  
(252): stay alive for me.

  
(252): stand by.

  
(919): I’ll be waiting

 


	56. Log B / Log 55

(252): max. you ready  
for instructions?

  
(910): I can’t believe I’m  
gona fucking do this

  
(910): You’re gonna get  
me out of here, yeah?

  
(252): yes.

  
(252): you have to follow my  
instructions to the letter.

  
(910): Shit

  
(910): Let’s do it.

  
(252): what’s your starting point?

  
(910): Okay

  
(910): I’m in the mess building,  
the big one in the middle

  
(910): Tried to get somewhere  
with fewer guards

  
(252): smart.

  
(252): there’s a side door on  
the western wall. if you’re  
facing the main doors, it’s  
to your right. you see it?

  
(910): Yeah

  
(252): go through there.

  
(252): once you’re outside,  
you’ll be able to see the building  
of operations to your right. face  
it, you’ll be facing north.

  
(910): The building with the pointy top?

  
(252): yes. it looks like  
a capitol, or a church.

  
(252): hug the building and head  
towards it. stay in the shadows  
so they can’t see you.

  
(252): the lights line the  
walkways. cross them  
perpendicular for the  
least exposure.

  
(910): Damn dude

  
(910): You really DO know  
this place

  
(910): Feels like you’re watching  
me with a drone

  
(252): tell me when you’re  
next to the operations building.

  
(910): I’m here

  
(910): No one’s seen me yet

  
(910): Can’t believe this  
is working hehehe

  
(252): let’s hope our luck  
doesn’t run out.

  
(252): okay. now, if you turn  
and look slightly to your left,  
around ten o’clock, there’s a  
monument back there. a man  
on a horse.

  
(252): if you head towards it,  
and then keep going for a few  
hundred yards in that direction,  
you’ll come up on the back gate.

  
(910): Moving now

  
(910): Shit bro

  
(910): If you can find a way  
to get Link out of here too,  
maybe we can all hang?

  
(910): I’d share the good shit  
I loot from pharmacies

  
(252): focus.

  
(252): tell me when you’re  
at the back gate.

  
(910): Here

  
(910): Now what? This thing  
has been closed tight for forever

  
(910): It’s massive

  
(910): I’m not even sure it’s  
still in working condition, dude

  
(252): fingers crossed.

  
(252): this next part is going  
to be tricky. i need you to find  
a rock.

  
(910): A rock??

  
(252): yes. a hefty one.

  
(910): Okay, hang on

  
(910): Found one

  
(252): listen carefully.

  
(252): go stand by the gate.  
right where it opens in the  
middle.

  
(910): Okay

  
(252): look at the wall to your  
left, back a ways. there should be  
two panels, about a foot apart.  
buttons on them.

  
(910): Yeah, I see em

  
(252): okay. you HAVE to get  
this throw right. you got a  
good throwing arm on you?

  
(910): Hell yeah!! Played  
baseball in college

  
(252): perfect!

  
(252): the red button will  
open the gate and cover  
your ass by bringing up a  
quarantine wall behind you.  
it’s not meant to be operated  
by the person leaving. hence  
the rock.

  
(252): the yellow button will  
close the secondary emergency  
gate and sound an alarm  
site-wide.

  
(252): that faulty crisis gate  
is one i had to inspect regularly.  
you do NOT want to be in the way  
when it closes, so you have to  
aim carefully. got it?

  
(910): Get to the point,  
shithead

  
(910): This is risky enough  
without you taking forever

  
(252): take careful aim, and hit  
the RED button.

  
(252): if you can do it,  
you’ll be free.

  
(910): Alright, here goes

  
(910): Thanks Rett

  
(252): don’t mention it, you  
fuckin' piece of shit.

  
(252): you dead?

  
(252): good. choke on your  
own blood.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

(919): Rhett?

  
(919): There are sirens going off

  
(919): Are you there?

  
(919): People are yelling

  
(252): you ready to move?

  
(919): What did you do?

  
(252): you’ve got to get your  
things back and get out of there

  
(252): hunters are coming

  
(252): max was kind enough to  
donate some blood for a scent  
trail.

  
(919): Holy fuck

  
(919): Okay

  
(919): The guards are gone

  
(252): run.

  
(252): get your guns, your  
bag, and run faster than you’ve  
ever run before.

  
(252): if anyone comes at you,  
shoot them, and don’t stop until  
you’re at the front gates.

  
(252): the FRONT gates. same  
way you came in. you got that?

  
(919): Yes

  
(919): Going

  
(252): don’t stop until your lungs  
are bursting

  
(252): til your legs are lead

  
(252): til you’re in fayetteville

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Haywoood on Tumblr made an absolutely incredible minicomic for this chapter! I'm totally blown away: [[x](http://haywoood.tumblr.com/post/183701968493/i-finally-finished-it-a-5-page-noir-comic-based)]


	57. Log 56

(919): Rhett.

  
(919): I’m safe.

  
(252): i’ve never read anything  
more beautiful in my entire life.

  
(252): you in a building?

  
(252): i know you’re probably  
bushed, but you should keep  
moving as soon as you can.

  
(252): if they manage to  
fend off whatever horde  
gathered, they’re going to  
be looking for you. and they  
won’t be happy.

  
(919): Yeah, I’m in a house.

  
(919): Sorry

  
(919): A bit shell shocked

  
(252): more than understandable.

  
(919): You

  
(919): I gotta get this straight.

  
(919): You killed Max??

  
(252): he was dumb enough  
to trust me.

  
(252): and before you try to  
defend him

  
(919): Thank you.

  
(919): Rhett, I could tell right away  
that something wasn’t right.  
But I chalked it up to my own  
nervousness at seeing him  
again.

  
(919): How in the world did you  
manage to pull that off??

  
(252): i didn’t have to think  
about it. as soon as he said  
they needed your... body,  
the plan was there.

  
(252): i hope

  
(252): i hope you don’t  
think i’m a monster.

  
(919): Holy shit, no.

  
(919): I’m in awe of you.

  
(919): I’m alive because of you.

  
(919): Untouched because of you.

  
(919): And you weren’t even there.

  
(252): sorry about that part.

  
(252): i actually ran about a  
half mile from the cabin before  
realizing that no matter how  
justifiably angry i was, that  
i’m just one man with an axe.

  
(252): i would’ve been shot or  
captured instantly. and then  
what use would i have been?

  
(919): Don’t apologize!

  
(919): You’re amazing, oh my god

  
(919): I told you you  
were an action hero. :)

  
(252): haha

  
(252): i can’t begin to  
tell you how happy i am  
that you got away, blue.

  
(252): i kept imagining you

  
(252): being

  
(252): fuck, being showcased

  
(252): and i just

  
(252): link…

  
(252): that was the scariest  
thing i’ve ever been through.  
the scariest thing i’ve ever had  
to do.

  
(252): but i didn’t even think  
twice. you were in danger

  
(252): and i went on autopilot.

  
(252): you’re safe.

  
(252): holy shit. you’re safe.

  
(252): fuck. fuck

  
(252): i have to do this.

  
(252): and i know we just  
talked about this the other  
night, and you got freaked out.

  
(252): but i’m sorry

  
(252): i can’t wait anymore.

  
(252): and you can say no. you  
can tell me that you’d rather wait  
until we meet in person. i can’t  
deny you of that. it’ll be fine.

  
(252): but at the very least,  
i have to ask

  
(252): because the stakes are  
too high to have missed out  
on you. to have not called you  
more than ‘boyfriend’

  
(252): cause that flimsy fuckin’  
label doesn’t cover how strongly  
i feel. not even close.

  
(252): we've been together  
through everything. sickness,  
health, addiction, death

  
(252): and yet somehow you  
still make me smile and laugh  
like those trials were nothing,  
because i had you by my side.

  
(252): you remind me every  
single day that there are  
things worth surviving for.  
that life is beautiful, even  
when it's dark outside.

  
(252): fingers be damned.

  
(252): i’ll wear the ring  
on my necklace.

  
(252): you and charlie right  
there where you belong,  
next to my beating heart.

  
(252): so

  
(252): link

  
(919): Will you marry me, Rhett?

  
(252): ...you unbelievable ass.  
hahahaha

  
(252): yes

  
(252): yes, i will.

  
(919): LOL. You were taking too long!

  
(252): it’s one thing to steal  
someone’s punchline, but  
holy shit

  
(919): Fitting for us, huh?

  
(919): I’d be an idiot not to  
lock you down, Rhett.

  
(919): I don’t care that  
we haven’t met yet. Long  
distance relationships  
are real. Love doesn’t  
follow the rules of space.

  
(919): When I was in that room

  
(919): All I could think  
about was how one of our  
last conversations ended  
with me being too stubborn  
and embarrassed to face how  
natural the thought of us  
being together for the rest  
of our lives was.

  
(252): we’re on the same  
page, then?

  
(919): Yeah. We are.

  
(252): y’know

  
(252): it seems irreversible,  
but it’s not like there’s really  
anyone to officiate anyway.

  
(252): if it doesn’t work out,  
or if you change your mind

  
(919): Freshly engaged, and you’re  
already pitching why it would be  
okay to break up. Lmao.

  
(919): I won’t change my mind.  
And it will work out.

  
(252): I love you more than  
anything, Link Neal.

  
(919): I love you too, Rhett.

  
(919): ...thank you for asking.

  
(919): Way more poetic than  
I would’ve been.

  
(252): is that why you  
stole it? hahaha

  
(919): Sure. That, and not  
impatience. Lol.

  
(919): Not to dampen the  
mood, but you’re right

  
(919): I should keep moving now  
that I’ve caught my breath.

  
(919): If I find a safe place to  
stay the night a bit further into  
the city, I can make it home by  
tomorrow evening.

  
(252): i wanna come meet you.  
let me know where

  
(919): Rhett, no. Stay in  
the cabin.

  
(919): It's fortified. You're  
safe there.

  
(252): but

  
(919): Let me keep you safe,  
for once? Don't head in  
this direction.

  
(919): I'll be okay. I promise.

  
(919): Those assholes don't have  
the element of surprise anymore.  
I'll stay off bigger roads.

  
(252): i don't like it, but  
if it makes you feel better?  
i'll wait for you.

  
(919): Thank you, love.

  
(252): it’s really happening, then.

  
(252): less than 24 hours.

  
(919): You ready?

  
(252): fuck yes.

  
(252): we shouldn’t stay in  
fayetteville though, babe.  
sorry to say.

  
(919): You’re home to me.  
Doesn’t matter where  
we end up.

  
(252): i’ve been thinking

  
(252): the people in cypress  
creek saved my life.

  
(252): i was a total stranger,  
and they saved me without  
hesitation.

  
(252): i want to help them.  
give back to people like that.

  
(252): we could have a home  
there. take trips to buies creek  
when we need some privacy.

  
(252): what do you think?

  
(919): I think that sounds perfect.

  
(919): I never got to thank Stevie.

  
(919): Let’s head there.

  
(919): Together.

  
(252): please.

 


	58. Log 57

(919): You awake?

  
(252): yeah.

  
(252): can’t stop thinking about you.  
worried and excited and just…  
i need you here with me already.

  
(919): Same.

  
(919): I wish I was there.

  
(919): One more night apart.

  
(252): i know.

  
(252): i can’t believe it.

  
(919): Me neither.

  
(252): you able to locate this  
place’s address on your map?

  
(919): Took a while, but yeah.  
I’ll get there just fine.

  
(252): you’ll finally see me for  
who i really am...

  
(252): two kids in a trenchcoat

  
(919): LOL.

  
(252): sorry you had to find out  
this close to us meeting.

  
(919): It’s okay.

  
(919): Makes it less awkward to  
admit that I’m just a pile of corn  
in the shape of a person.

  
(252): hahaha

  
(252): sounds good, i’m hungry

  
(919): There are worse ways  
to die than being sustenance  
for you. Lol.

  
(252): hey, if i become a  
hunter, remember that you  
said that. hahaha

  
(919): Yikes. Lol.

  
(252): how are your bruises?

  
(919): Dark. Sore. Don’t hurt  
unless I press on ‘em though.

  
(252): yeah, don’t do that.

  
(252): i’ll kiss all of them  
better for you.

  
(919): Oh, yeah?

  
(919): There’s one on  
my inner thigh.

  
(919): You gonna kiss that one?

  
(252): hell

  
(252): i’ll start there  
if you let me.

  
(919): Wherever you want, Rhett.

  
(252): can’t wait to get my  
mouth on your skin, neal.

  
(252): i want to run my hands  
up your back and pull you close  
to me until there’s no space left  
between us.

  
(919): Where else would  
I possibly want to go?

  
(919): It sounds silly, but

  
(919): I really just want  
to lay against you.

  
(919): Chest to chest.  
Shirts off.

  
(919): I want to feel  
your heartbeat.

  
(252): that doesn’t sound silly.  
that sounds amazing.

  
(252): you can fall asleep  
there, if you want.

  
(919): Gosh.

  
(919): I’d

  
(919): I’d probably  
get distracted.

  
(919): I don’t think I’d be able  
to stop kissing you for long  
enough to fall asleep.

  
(252): then don’t.

  
(252): being able to be with you

  
(252): to just hold you and be  
present in that moment

  
(252): not in any hurry, for once.

  
(252): can you even imagine?

  
(919): I want it so bad.

  
(919): ...I want you so bad.

  
(252): yeah?

  
(252): i’m gonna take my  
time with you, blue.

  
(252): want to explore every  
inch of you with my hands.

  
(252): run my fingers through  
your hair. trace them along  
your shoulders and down your  
chest, lining your ribs.

  
(919): I’m ticklish. Careful.

  
(919): I’ll laugh into your mouth.

  
(252): yeah, like that wouldn’t  
be a turn on.

  
(252): you, happy and safe  
in my arms.

  
(252): your full weight relaxed  
against me…

  
(252): shit.

  
(252): i wanna see those pretty  
eyes of yours as i unbutton your  
pants. wanna see you blush when  
i unzip you.

  
(919): Oh, gosh.

  
(919): I’d probably bury my  
face into your neck.  
Embarrassed.

  
(252): no. i want you to  
look at me. full eye contact.

  
(919): Fuck, Rhett

  
(919): That’s

  
(919): A lot

  
(252): it’s okay. i’ve got you.

  
(252): i’d stop after that. just  
for a moment, to kiss the color  
from your cheeks.

  
(919): That would only  
add more color.

  
(252): maybe.

  
(252): only until your breathing  
is heavy and your lips part  
easily for me and you’ve  
forgotten yourself.

  
(919): Shit

  
(919): I would, with you, Rhett

  
(919): You’re so big.

  
(919): How could I not feel  
centered? Protected?

  
(252): that’s all i want for you,  
baby. i’m here for you. no one  
else. be yourself with me.

  
(252): i wanna kiss you  
until you’re undone.

  
(252): til you lose yourself  
with me.

  
(919): Fuck

  
(919): Rhett, I’m

  
(919): I’m already leaking

  
(252): right now?

  
(919): Y

  
(919): Yeah

  
(919): I, uh

  
(919): I’m gonna make a mess  
if you don’t stop

  
(252): make a mess, then.  
i want you to.

  
(919): Fuck

  
(919): Okay

  
(252): yeah?

  
(919): Mmhmm

  
(252): i’d get my palms on  
that ass of yours, neal.

  
(252): feel your shape. your  
curves. kissing you the whole  
time, swallowing the noises  
you make.

  
(252): i bet you taste like bliss.

  
(919): I’d be a wreck, Rhett.

  
(919): Whining into your mouth,  
grinding into your lap, wanting  
more friction than I can get with  
our pants on

  
(252): would you know what i  
wanted when i started to tug  
at your belt loops, then?

  
(919): God, yes. Of course.

  
(252): doesn’t gotta be frantic.

  
(252): i’ll help you take them off.

  
(252): and once you’re back on  
top of me, i just want to hold you  
and take in everything about you.

  
(252): how warm your thighs are.  
how good you smell. how soft  
your skin is.

  
(919): This patience thing is

  
(919): You really like torturing  
me, huh?

  
(252): torture? no, babe.

  
(252): i just wanna savor you.

  
(252): being with you for the  
first time, after so long spent  
dreaming about you. what it  
would be like.

  
(919): Funny how that same  
sentiment is why I need you  
to fuck me senseless.

  
(252): damn, blue.

  
(252): your wish is my command.

  
(252): i’d wet my fingers.  
make sure they’re nice and warm

  
(252): slip my hand between your  
legs and find your pretty little  
hole for the first time.

  
(919): Fuck

  
(919): While I’m on top of you?

  
(252): absolutely.

  
(252): you’ll have to support  
yourself while i play with you…  
which would be SO much fun  
for me to watch.

  
(919): Shit, Rhett, I’d be a mess  
in your lap. Shaking and moaning

  
(919): Trying to keep my mouth on  
yours but unable to, moaning  
your name. Crying out

  
(919): My legs would shiver so  
hard around you

  
(252): you gonna get some wet  
on my stomach, baby?

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): What about your pants

  
(252): they’re fine. little  
precum never hurt anyone.

  
(919): No, I mean

  
(919): When would you  
take yours off

  
(252): well, whenever you want.

  
(252): you want ‘em off?

  
(252): i can always just unbutton  
and fuck you while i’m still wearing  
them. you like that idea?

  
(919): Fuckk

  
(919): Yes

  
(919): Please

  
(252): of course, darlin'.

  
(252): you’re wet enough for it.

  
(252): christ

  
(252): i’m so hard, link.

  
(252): can’t handle the way  
you would look in my grip.  
knowing i made you like that.

  
(252): you sure you wanna  
take it for me?

  
(252): so selfless. so eager  
to please.

  
(919): I want

  
(919): Gosh Rhett I want you  
inside of me god yes

  
(252): yeah

  
(252): yeah, okay

  
(252): such an angel.

  
(252): i’d kiss you while i unbutton.

  
(252): pull your hips to my stomach.  
stroke myself wet with my precum.

  
(252): can’t have you getting hurt.

  
(919): I wouldn’t care

  
(919): It would all feel good

  
(252): i care.

  
(252): would you kiss me while  
i got lined up?

  
(919): Yes

  
(919): Kiss you so hard I’d  
take your breath away

  
(252): you already do.

  
(252): would you keep kissing  
when i

  
(252): shit

  
(252): when i push in  
for the first time?

  
(919): Oh fuck.

  
(919): If I don’t moan, yeah,  
yes I want my mouth on yours

  
(252): moan, too, baby.

  
(252): i’d break the kiss though.  
i want to put my face into your  
chest while we work up a rhythm.

  
(919): Only if I can put my  
fingers through your hair

  
(252): anything.

  
(252): i keep envisioning

  
(252): nestling my elbows on  
your hips

  
(252): reaching up around to  
rest my hands on your back,  
near your shoulder blades

  
(252): gripping there

  
(252): and bringing you down  
onto my cock over and over and  
over again as you say my name  
in quick, hot breaths...

  
(252): everything about you is  
like silk, neal.

  
(919): Gracious

  
(919): What is

  
(919): Does that position  
have a name??

  
(252): hug-fucking? hahaha

  
(252): i don’t know

  
(252): i just wanna do it to you.  
more than anything.

  
(252): don’t kinkshame me.

  
(919): No! Lol

  
(919): That’s so hot, Rhett

  
(252): it would be perfect, babe.

  
(252): i know i’d want to close  
my eyes and take everything in.

  
(252): how tight you are. how your  
sex smells. your weight on me.  
your pulse racing to try and  
match mine.

  
(252): but i wouldn’t close my eyes.

  
(919): Nooo

  
(252): yeah. look at me, link.

  
(252): look at what you do to  
me, baby.

  
(252): i’m all for you. no one  
else could bring me to a place  
so helpless.

  
(919): God dammit, Rhett

  
(919): I’m

  
(919): I can’t hold out  
much longer

  
(252): is it time, then?

  
(252): i’m close too, blue.

  
(252): can you do daddy a favor?

  
(252): get out the fucksleeve.

  
(919): Wait

  
(919): What??

  
(919): I I got that for you

  
(252): surprise. it was always  
meant for you. and i think i’ve  
been plenty patient. don’t you?

  
(919): McLaughlin

  
(919): What are you doing to  
me, oh my gosh

  
(252): once you’re wearing the  
sleeve, i’ll be happy to continue.

  
(919): Shit

  
(919): Jesus Christ, okay

  
(919): Okay, it’s on

  
(252): i want you to press your  
forehead against mine as i  
take your cock into my hand.

  
(252): i’m gonna make you  
unravel, neal.

  
(252): right there in my palms.

  
(252): first i’d

  
(252): fuck, i’d stroke you to match  
my own pace. want you to feel how  
good you are for me.

  
(252): such a good boy.

  
(252): one arm around your entire  
waist. bet you’ve never felt that  
small before.

  
(919): Never, holy shit

  
(919): Rhett

  
(919): Would you hold  
me in place??

  
(252): of course. can’t have you  
losing your balance, since you’re  
kind enough to let me enjoy the  
view.

  
(252): fuck, link

  
(252): i’ve never wanted to  
see sex on someone as badly  
as i want to see it on you

  
(919): Fuck

  
(919): Dear god, this

  
(919) This thing feels amazing

  
(252): yeah? you like it when i  
jack you off in my lap?

  
(252): wanna bite your lips

  
(252): watch those blue eyes  
get wrecked and heavy

  
(252): get my

  
(252): get my teeth on your neck,  
just under your ear

  
(252): fuck you so hard that i’m  
growling with need and can’t think  
straight anymore

  
(919): Rhett please

  
(919): Please

  
(919): Please let me come

  
(919): Fuck

  
(252): kiss me

  
(252): come for me, baby

  
(252): cover my chest

  
(252): Link baby i'm

  
(252): fuck i’m so close

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
(919): You're sure that was okay?

  
(252): that was

  
(252): without a doubt

  
(252): the best phone call i  
have ever received in my  
entire life.

  
(919): LOL

  
(252): i wish that every single  
time i answer the phone in  
the future, i get to hear you  
gasping my name through  
an orgasm.

  
(252): seriously. link, that was  
a one-upper.

  
(919): I was looking at your  
selfie, you know.

  
(252): fuuuck

  
(252): stop being such an angel  
for once in your damn life, yeah?

  
(919): I don’t think there’s  
ANYTHING angelic about  
what we just did.

  
(252): incorrect.

  
(252): that was the closest  
to heaven i’ve ever been.

  
(919): Stop it. So cheesy. Lol.

  
(919): ...me too, though.

  
(252): do i need to tell  
you i love you?

  
(252): i hope you felt it,  
the way i begged for you  
when i came.

  
(919): Uhh, Yes. I felt it.

  
(919): Felt it hard enough to  
make me come twice in a row.

  
(252): no shit?

  
(252): damn.

  
(919): Yep. Your voice does  
some intense stuff to me.

  
(919): Has ever since  
the voicemail.

  
(252): ugh.

  
(252): that makes me want  
a round two, but

  
(919): Rhett. I love you, but I am  
beyond exhausted. Lol.

  
(252): you didn’t let me finish!

  
(252): i was gonna say you  
should get some rest hahaha

  
(919): It’ll be nice to ride  
this feeling into sleep, though

  
(252): of course, baby.

  
(252): i’d kiss you and  
let you fall asleep on me.

  
(919): Gosh.

  
(919): ...I can’t wait.

  
(252): well, the sooner you  
go to bed, the faster tomorrow  
will arrive.

  
(252): which reminds me… this  
is the first and most important  
time i’ll be able to say this  
while truly meaning it.

  
(252): see you tomorrow.

  
(919): !

  
(919): See you tomorrow!

  
(252): night, beautiful.

  
(919): Night, love. :)

 


	59. Log 58

(919): Good morning!

  
(252): whoa

  
(252): it is CRAZY early for  
you to be texting me, what  
the fuck

  
(252): i haven’t even eaten  
breakfast yet, ya loon

  
(919): I know. I couldn’t sleep.

  
(252): what?!

  
(252): babe you really need   
to rest

  
(252): the past few days  
have been a nightmare  
for you.

  
(252): did you get any  
sleep at all?

  
(919): I’d call what I did   
a power nap. Lol.

  
(919): I know I’m sleep-  
deprived and should   
probably be catatonic   
or whatever, but

  
(919): I feel really good.

  
(919): There’s no need to   
worry about me.

  
(919): Promise.

  
(252): yeah?

  
(919): Yeah.

  
(252): if you say so, haha

  
(252): i think the chances  
are good that you’re   
actually just so tired   
you’re slap-happy.

  
(252): that’s not to say  
i don’t like seeing you  
happy of course, but

  
(252): i can’t help but  
worry

  
(252): what’s got you  
feeling so good, babe?

  
(919): Just… everything.

  
(919): I dunno.

  
(919): Isn’t it amazing?

  
(919): I’m still here.

  
(919): I’m still here, Rhett.

  
(919): You told me once  
that I was stronger  
than I thought.

  
(919): I didn’t believe you,  
and there are still times  
when I doubt myself.

  
(919): But

  
(919): I would be dumb  
to ignore the evidence.

  
(919): Hunters. Humans.  
Hell, even heartbreak.

  
(919): I’ve had all of it.  
We have. Together.

  
(919): And we’ve come out   
on the other side. I survived.  
Every time.

  
(919): Closer to you,   
because of it.

  
(919): Exactly where I need  
to be. Where I want to be.

  
(919): And, shit, you’re still  
here too, Rhett! What  
the fuck?! I can’t believe it.

  
(919): Hahahaha

  
(919): We’re both alive

  
(919): We get to be together,  
oh my god

  
(252): hahaha, so far,  
yeah! you’re right.

  
(252): you’re celebrating  
kinda early, though

  
(252): once you’re here  
you can say stuff like  
this, okay?

  
(919): We’re still alive!!

  
(919): Oh my goodness  
I’m going to cry

  
(252): jesus. someone  
needs a nap and a hug!  
hahaha 

  
(919): Can you believe it?

  
(919): What the fuck! Lol

  
(252): babe HAHA

  
(252): hush, nugget!  
hahaha

  
(252): you’re deliriously  
excited, but... hahahaha

  
(252): i love you so  
much. you really have   
no idea.

  
(919): I love you too!

  
(252): how did a vagabond   
like me find a sweetheart   
like you in this mess?

  
(919): I’m the one who  
found you. Remember? Lol.

  
(252): you did, didn’t you?

  
(252): can you imagine if  
you hadn’t picked up that  
phone? wild.

  
(919): I know. I think  
about it a lot.

  
(919): But that’s not how  
things went. And now  
I have you.

  
(252): well don’t count your  
chickens before they hatch,   
yeah? you aren’t with me   
yet haha

  
(919): Hang on

  
(919): Gotta double   
check something

  
(252): you okay?

  
(919): Yep! I’m great.

  
(919): So

  
(919): Wanna hear a joke?

  
(252): uhh hahaha

  
(252): wow, you’re kind  
of all over the place, huh?

  
(252): were you consulting  
your joke encyclopedia?

  
(919): Insulting. I’ve got  
jokes for days.

  
(919): You’re gonna love   
this one. You ready?

  
(252): haha

  
(252): yeah, okay. hit me

  
(919): Knock knock.

  
(252): who’s there?

  
(919): Me.

  
(919): Come outside.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (919): ...Did you just scream? LOL
> 
> Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading _You have (1) New Message._   
> I can't begin to tell you what your support has meant to me.  
> If you'd like to say hello or just chat, you can find me on [tumblr](https://its-mike-kapufty.tumblr.com/). ❤


	60. Epilogue

(919): Keep your guns loaded.

  
(919): I packed lots of  
jerky in the big pouch.

  
(919): Make sure to keep  
an eye on Barbara. I  
know you used lots of  
wood glue and industrial  
tape, but still.

  
(919): Oh and there’s some  
water purification tablets  
in one of the side pockets.  
Just in case.

  
(252): link. i’m gonna be  
fine, doll.

  
(252): you don’t have to  
mother hen me. haha

  
(919): I know, but

  
(919): Can you blame me?

  
(919): It’s been so long  
since we’ve been apart.

  
(252): i know.

  
(252): you’re okay, sweetheart.

  
(252): don’t forget to text  
me the list of winter seeds?

  
(919): You came up with  
most of that list, lol.

  
(252): well, yeah, but  
you’re learning quick

  
(252): the garden is more   
your project at this point hahaha

  
(252): last week when i   
tried to check the zucchini,   
you literally slapped my  
hand away.

  
(919): There’s no reason  
to touch them!

  
(252): i think you love  
the plants more than me

  
(252): :(

  
(919): No!

  
(919): ...don’t forget liquid  
fertilizer please.

  
(252): hahahaha

  
(252): man.

  
(252): it’s surreal to text   
you like this again.

  
(919): I know.

  
(919): I miss you already.

  
(252): i can still see the  
compound, nugget.

  
(252): ...i miss you too, though

  
(252): don’t worry, i won’t  
be gone long.

  
(919): Godspeed. I know  
you’re capable, but

  
(252): ‘capable?’ the   
rhettquisition is  
unstoppable.

  
(919): THAT’S how you spell  
that?! Omg no wonder you  
won’t stop saying it LOL

  
(919): I just thought you  
were really excited for   
your new job!

  
(252): hahaha that too

  
(252): everyone’s depending  
on me

  
(252): and i miss roaming  
around sometimes

  
(252): plus, i get to text  
you.

  
(252): just like old times.

  
(919): I’d rather you just  
be here with me,  
to be honest. Lol.

  
(919): But I’m happy that  
you’re happy.

  
(919): Don’t die, yeah?

  
(252): hell no.

  
(252): did you see all  
the weapons they gave  
me as part of the deal?

  
(252): i’m freakin’ rambo

  
(252): oh also before i forget

  
(252): does lila need anything?

  
(919): No, she’s doing good,  
all things considered.

  
(919): Y’know, I never thought  
I’d be someone who’s grateful   
for reusable diapers? Lol.

  
(919): Sweet of you to   
think to ask, though.

  
(252): just trying to look  
out for everyone.

  
(252): hope her parents  
turn up.

  
(919): That’s a nice thought,  
but I really doubt it.

  
(919): People don’t typically  
leave babies on doorsteps  
with intent to return.

  
(252): maybe they got bit  
and didn’t have a choice?

  
(919): Mm. Seems likely.

  
(919): Well, we’ll keep her safe.   
They made the right choice.

  
(252): yeah.

  
(252): y’know

  
(252): once the kids are   
old enough to hear stories   
about you and your shotgun,   
it’ll blow their freakin’ minds   
hahaha

  
(919): Stevie’s already tried  
busting that out during  
story time!! I had to   
physically cover her   
mouth

  
(252): hahahahaha

 

(919): I used to think YOU  
gave me shit omg

  
(252): have i gone soft  
on you? crap

  
(252): i blame married life  
hahaha

  
(919): You sap. Lol.

  
(919): I think it’s more  
that now, you have to  
be mean to my face.

  
(919): And we both know   
you’re bad at that. :)

  
(252): ...guilty haha

  
(252): now’s the chance for  
me to work that muscle,   
though  
  


(919): Be gentle with me,  
at least. Sometimes I think  
I've gone soft, too. Lol.

  
(252): like i could ever  
be rough with you, blue.

  
(919): Well...

  
(252): hush. hahaha  
  


(919): I didn't say anything! Lol.

  
(919): Not that I don’t  
love getting nostalgic,  
buuut

  
(919): You should probably   
focus on your task.

  
(252): yeah. you’re right.

  
(252): don’t worry about  
me. i’ll kiss my ring for   
good luck.

  
(919): I will, too.  
  


(919): Stay safe. Come home soon.

  
(919): I love you, Rhett Neal.

  
(252): i love you too, babe. always.

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Replay](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17482358) by [Nietoperz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nietoperz/pseuds/Nietoperz)
  * [You have (1) new love story](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17787215) by [LinksLipsSinkShips](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinksLipsSinkShips/pseuds/LinksLipsSinkShips)
  * [You have (99+) new messages](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17800022) by [DarkMythicality (ClaxiaUramaki)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaxiaUramaki/pseuds/DarkMythicality)
  * [Cypress Creek](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19947889) by [pinecontents](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinecontents/pseuds/pinecontents)




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